Sly As A Fox
by The Shadows Will
Summary: One man can change the flow of events. Naruto receives help early on which allows him to become that which he was meant to be, a Shinobi of the leaf. Smarter Naruto. Pairings later. Rating for language, violence, and a large helping of awesome.
1. Chapter 1 A beginning to a journey

**I own everything that is, was, and will ever be. See that computer screen you are looking at right now, that is mine. That air your breathing, mine. Gravity you are using, mine. But I shall never ever accept Naruto as mine. I would have made it so Naruto would have had an IQ above 50, and more than five abilities. So to simplify, I don't own Naruto.**

(_Anything in italicized format with ( ) are author thingy's_)

_Regular italicized are inner monologue._

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Chapter 1. A Beginning to a Journey _(AN. what the hell am I getting myself into?)_

It was a perfect day, there were merchants peddling their wares to the passersby, the scent of fresh bread wafted out from the bakery windows, and not a cloud in the sky. About the only thing wrong was the lonely eyes of a small boy from the shadows of a back alley…well that and the um people running on rooftops and leaping enormous distances but that is for later. In the alley the small boy sees the crowd of people and their happy faces seemingly as if they have not a care in the world. Emboldened by the happy people the boy steps out of the shadows and into the light of day for all to see. For a second all movement stops and all eyes turn to the small boy. His gold hair clumped together by grime and dirt as though it hasn't been washed in weeks. The clothes disheveled and falling apart as though they were scrounged from the trash (_they were_) held up by lengths of frayed ropes. His face almost completely covered in filth, with three black horizontal stripes adorning each cheek. But what draws the attention the most are his eyes. His blues eyes deep oceans that only know longing and sorrow lacking the luster that a child of four should have. In his hands are clutched a ratty stuffed animal in the shape of a yellow mouse with red cheeks (_guess who and I'll give you a cookie. They even have real chocolate bytes. And I don't own the mouse_). Normally the sight of such a child would bring sadness to the eyes of any man or woman but instead all there are is hate, anger, loathing, resentment, fear, and no small amount of distrust. The words "_Demon"_ _"Monster" Murderer"_ and _"Evil" _were passed around in hushed breathes. Most walked off to continue on whatever had them outside today while a few hung back glaring at the boy with uneasy eyes as if just waiting for him to attack.

" Why me? Why do you hate me?" Cried the boy to no one in particular.

"You know why, Demon" Snarled random villager number 1. (_He gets killed off in the invasion, giant fireball_). "You're lucky we don't end you here and now." Another nameless meat shield said.

Hanging his head in defeat the young orphan retreats back into the shadows._ It's not fair why am I hated what did I ever do to any of them? It's always been like this they beat me cut me kick me out of their shops give me spoiled food. Why? Why? Why am I always alone? _The boy thinks to himself not really paying attention to where he is going but aimlessly wondering. Looking up he finds himself in front of a building that is unfamiliar to him. It's a very imposing two story solid granite structure with wide stairs leading up to the revolving door. A pair of stone statues flank either side of the door. Both identical soldiers fully encased in armor holding a flag of the city's emblem, as if they were eternal sentinels forever guarding what lay inside. A steady stream of people going in and out some going in only to leave a short time later but weighed down with scrolls and books of all sorts. _I've never seen this building before._

Walking over to a man carrying scrolls precariously stacked well over his head the boy asks "Excuse me sir, but what is this building?" Startled the man loses balance causing all the scrolls along with himself to go tumbling to the ground while he screamed like a little girl. _That's embarrassing. _The boy who spoke then proceeds to pick up the scrolls that were dropped. "Sorry for scaring you mister". Says the boy.

"Why its fine it just sometimes I get so caught up in what I'm doing that I forget about the world, don't cha know." The stick of a man towering somewhere around 6' 2, a white robe covering him neck to ankle. He had light brown hair in the form of a birds nest indicative of bed head or a lack of caring. His bespectacled green eyes were searching out the dropped scrolls. His face was thin and angular. Searching for the remainder of the fallen scrolls. "It's the great library of Konoha. Can't you read the giant sign"? He replies while shifting his gaze from the ground and taking in the entirety of the dirt incrusted child before him.

"No" replies the boy. "Never taught me. In the orphanage. But I'd like to learn" He says with a dejected look on his face._ All they would do is steal what little was mine and give me spoiled food._

The man's eyes burn with a holy fire like a man on a quest for glory and honor. Faster than the child can register the scrolls are snatched from his hands and off the ground. Before he can respond he finds himself being carried at great speeds up the steps of the building through the revolving doors past many of the many shelves containing scrolls, books and charts to one of the back corners to an empty table. _That was fast how'd he do that?" _The boy thought to himself. The boy was plopped down in one of the four available chairs at the square table; he dumped the scrolls unceremoniously in a pile. Having never been allowed inside such a splendid building before his eyes were everywhere. In the central area there were row upon row of shelves displays and charts. The oak shelves going up a good twelve feet marked by subject. A legion of tables surrounding the middle area. People freely flowing from one shelf to the next. From where he was seated he could see the second story and it too was full of shelves. There was a counter with a stern looking woman behind it steadily sweeping the ground floor with her unyielding eyes.

"So you want to learn to read?" For a reply all he got was emphatic nodding while the child's blue eyes were as big as plates scanning his surroundings. "Writing?" More fast nodding. "Well this would be a good place to learn seeing as it is a place of learning" The man assumed a thinking pose stroking his imaginary beard. "Alright, I shall teach you." The man said in a heroic voice.

Impossibly the kids' eyes grew bigger yet, but then just as quickly narrowed "Why would you teach me? Don't you hate me like everyone else?" He asked in a serious tone.

"First and foremost I am a man of knowledge and facts. As such the pursuit of wisdom is welcome in my book. If you desire the ability to read I shall give it to you." He said in a dead serious tone. "I have learned through my travels that humans as a collective are ignorant of a great many things and anything that they cannot understand are treat in a hostile manner. But some things will forever be beyond the scope of the human condition, well as they are now. As for disliking you, I just met you and as such I have no opinion good or bad at this time, don't cha know." He finished.

"Huh?" Was all he got as a reply.

"Basically people are stupid, so if they don't make an effort to be kind then just don't care about them, just think of them as nameless supporting characters in a story, unimportant by themselves but as a whole allow the world to function and I'm too smart to hate you, don't cha know." Simplified the man._ He's a little slow on the uptake but from the looks of him he hasn't been cared for a while._

The boy started tearing up in response to the older man's words. The man while educated was not exactly a people person, so not knowing what caused the tears freaked out. "Don't cry don't cry don't cry. Um here I'll show you a trick." Whipping out a fountain pen and a blank scroll seemingly out of nowhere he started writing. The pen flew across the blank page with a practiced easy. What showed up was circle with a bunch of squiggly lines around it. "Watch this" he said as he dumped the pile of scrolls in the newly created drawing placed his finger on its edge and said "Seal" in a poof of smoke only the one scroll with the design on it was left. "Tada!"

"That was cool but I wasn't crying because I was sad it was because you were the first person to not hate me." He said with the remnants of tears still in his eyes. _What did he do to those scrolls?_ Sticking his hand out. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

Taking the small dirty hand "Arius Miroku Noctis. It is a pleasure to meet you, don't cha know." He said with a bright smile. "Now first thing go clean up." He said while pointing to a simple picture of a man (_bathroom)._

Naruto ran off towards the bathroom to get cleaned up. Upon return he looked much better. Flashing a Giga-watt smile he ran to the table. "So when do we start?"

"Not until tomorrow. I'll need to prepare. So how about we get something to eat, hm? Arius glanced at Naruto noting even through his clothes the emancipated state he was in. "I know this little Raman stand called Ichiraku's". (_Don't hate me. I know Ichirakus is overplayed but I don't care it funny._)

"Most places don't let me inside."

"Don't fear I go there every time I'm in town they are nice people who wouldn't turn away any business."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" Seeing hesitation in Naruto's eyes. _How about a bribe then? _"tell you what I'll even get you some new clothes." His reply was blue eyes brighter than the clearest day and a smile that could warm even the coldest winter.

"Okay".

His wallet would never be the same.

* * *

Arius is sitting at one of the chairs at Ichiraku's balling his eyes out at the sight before him. On the counter there stands tall a pile of empty bowls twelve high, and behind the counter a man with a gleam in his eye that can only be called dollar signs. A content and slightly swollen Naruto can be seen passed out on the ground mumbling something about gift from heaven. _How the hell can a midget eat that much. There is no conceivable way that's natural or healthy. There is no conceivable way he could have done that. He is simply too small to ingest that much at one time, if I had more time I would research this. _"Thanks Teuchi" Arius said while picking Naruto up.

"No thank you, you just gave me a lifelong customer." Teuchi said with a frightening gleam in his eye.

Sighing Arius shifted the comatose Naruto to one hand and walked off in the direction of the Hokages tower. While walking to the tower he even he could read the expressions of the people as he was walking _"Somebody finally had enough of that demon", "Taking him to the Hokage for punishment", and "Serves him right"._ _It is quite disturbing the amount of hate they have for this child, somebody needs to do something before he loses it and kills them all._ Walking into the tower he walks up to the concierge desk. "Excuse me, I would like to talk to the Hokage".

"The Hokage does not see any one without" she said while finally looking up from her paperwork. Her gaze locked on the blonde bundle the man was carrying "ah, never mind" Using the intercom "Hokage-sama, there's a man here with Naruto Uzumaki" For a reply all that was heard was "Send him up."

"Take the corridor on your left to the stairs he's on the fifth floor. Second door on your left." The receptionist said.

"Thank you." Was his reply before he set off.

Upon arrival at the door that had a Plate reading "Hokage" Arius knocked thrice. "Come." said a voice from inside the room.

(_I is too lazy to describe him. So figure it out yourselves)_ Looking into the man's eyes you could tell the countless number of battles that he has fought and come out on top. On his Mahogany desk the sits two piles of paperwork the "in" pile being significantly bigger than the "out" pile. "What has he done?" Asks the Hokage in a tone equal parts boredom and tiredness.

Setting Naruto down in one of the unoccupied chairs Arius says "He's done nothing but, apparently neither have you." The look on the Hokages face was confusion. "He's been living on the streets for weeks. He said that he was kicked out of the orphanage and from his appearance id say that he doesn't have any possessions or anybody looking after him."

"I'll have to have a word with the" but before he could finish Arius raised his hand to signify to stop.

"Look I know his burden and so does every adult in this city and as far as I can see no one will take care of him. The resentment that the people show towards him is only pushing him away to the point where he will only have hate for this city and when he comes into his power there will be a reckoning. I would think that with your personal interest in him that you would have played a bigger role in his life." He said then glanced over to the pictures of the past Hokages and more specifically to the last one.

Catching this the Hokage flew through five hand signs and a blue glow enveloped the room, signaling that a privacy jutsu was in effect. He looked over to the sleeping boy.

"He ate twelve bowls of Raman and I hit him with a sleep jutsu so he shouldn't be up for a while."

"What do you know?" Said the man with the funny hat.

"A great many things but anyone with eyes can see the resemblance. And from the stories of the Fourth it is safe to say that he would not sacrifice some random child and a little research would lead to his involvement with one Kushina Uzumaki of Whirlpool. But with most everyone blinded by hate from the Kyuubi they have become too stupid to see the Fourth's true legacy."

Sighing "What will you do with this information?" Replied Sarutobi in his stern big boy voice.

"Nothing but urge you to do what is right. No one will take care of him so I suggest that you give him his own apartment and a weekly allowance till he becomes a shinobi."

Raising an eyebrow "What makes you think that he will choose to be a shinobi?"

"Well what else is there? No civilian will hire him he's got no family to fall back on so basically its shinobi or nothing. Besides with his chakra reserves alone he could become a titan on the battlefield."

"Your right again. Who are you to know these things? And frankly why do you care?" The Hokage asks

"Arius Miroku Noctis"

Stunned awe was all that was on the face of the "Professor". "The Eternal Scholar?" He managed to get out.

"Not that I actually go by that title but yes. And as for why I care who do you think it was that gave Minato his first sealing book?" Arius said with a mischievous grin. "But as I was saying he has no one close to tie him to this place. So I suggest you take that position. Come by once a week for a few minutes and see how he is doing. He will see you as a beacon in the dark and you can use it as an excuse to dodge paperwork."

"I agree, it would be welcome to us both."

Walking over to the bookcase along one of the walls and examining its contents. "Tomorrow I begin reading and writing lessons with him." He was actually impressed with the collection the Hokage possessed. "But with my new found involvement in the subject I find some things are out of place so after he can read and write to a proficient level I will leave to conduct research." Sarutobi raises an eyebrow. "Have you never wondered why the Kyuubi attacked? Next to the Nibi it is the most docile of the biju."

"So you think someone caused it to attack?"

"Yes, but Konoha has made many enemies so I will most likely be gone for a few years."

"Alright, this place is a little run down but this is the best the council will allow me to give him." He said as he took out two pieces of paper. He finished with one of them and handed it to Arius. "Give this to the owner she'll give him an apartment." Finishing with the second one. Here's the address. I'll start getting things together for the allowance."

"Good to hear, now upon my return I see a significant improvement with him, or better handling of the Elder Council I might just give you the secret to paperwork." The scholar said while picking up the boy and heading for the door.

Sarutobi's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. _Can he truly have the secret to paperwork? I must make Naruto as happy as possible!_

He laughed as he closed the door to take Naruto to his new apartment.

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Okay well that is done, hurray for me. While writing this I discovered I loathe plot holes so if you find any let me know. Now send me reviews, I take all. I need to know how I'm doing. If it is particularly nasty review I might even figure a way to put it into the story. Till next time.


	2. Chapter 2 A change

**Hello there again. Well this is the second chapter, and I hope you enjoy it.**

**(Anything in parentheses are author thingy's)**

_Italicized are the characters inner monologues_

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Chapter 2. A Change

The last three months have been the high point of Naruto's young life. He made a friend and teacher, one Arius Miroku Noctis. He got a new apartment, though more than a little run down, that he could call his own. He got regular visits by the Hokage, who was also giving him money for his everyday expenses. Met some nice people at the Raman stand Ichiraku's that didn't judge or hate him, and every once in a while gave him a free bowl. And to top it all off he got a new wardrobe. His clothes now consisted of a grey long sleeve shirt with the kanji for valor above the heart, black cargo pants with pockets of various sizes and black shinobi sandals.

Naruto and Arius were just getting up from the table they had inhabited for the past four hours at the library and made their way to Naruto's apartment completely oblivious to the harsh stares they were receiving. _These people are mad to hate him, they have no idea what they are pushing away. _"Well you completely blew past all my expectations of you. I do believe what you just accomplished would put you under the title of prodigy. Not only did you learn to read and write in under three months but you can do so at a level three or four years more advanced than others of your age, don't cha know." The scholar said praising his student. _It is almost too amazing. With the amount of human interaction he received he should be at least unable to speak and at most be an empty shell. It could be that the fox is somehow altering his physiology, I guess even a demon would want their house in the best shape possible. This will require more research in the future._

With one of those bright smiles that were becoming less and less rare. "Thanks. But that's only because you helped me…now that I think about it my life turned around the day I met you. I got a home, I got a teacher, unspoiled food, and a friend."

"I am not that great, you would have been alright without me, and it is not like you would have been some orange colored idiot without my help." He said while pushing his glasses up on his nose. "But it was a good thing you started eating correctly at this point, if you would have gone on as you had the malnutrition would have stunted the growth of your body and mind."

They continued walking on as if they didn't have a care in the world. "I almost forgot, I figured out that thing with your memory, it is called a "Photographic" memory and you will remember everything you see as if you were looking at a photograph, for the rest of your life."

"I'm just that awesome." Naruto said while scratching the back of his head.

"It might not be such a blessing. Think about it every moment of every day will be stuck in your head for the rest of your life. Like the public baths, do you really want to remember the physical appearance of every man in there?" Said the man in an informative tone.

A shudder went through Naruto. "No." He said flatly.

"When you get time you should search out the head of the Yamanaka, his name is Inoichi and he might be able to help you organize your mind. The Yamanaka family specializes in mind and memory jutsu, don't cha know." _He might even end up in contact the fox. The midget will find out about it sometime, he must not make it his enemy. With the amount of power and knowledge it contains there is no way you would not want it as you ally _"Naruto" the boy looked up at the serious tone "if you ever meet the fox try and get on its good side."

"What fox? Why?"

"I will tell you when you are older" He said with a knowing smile.

"Asshole" Could be heard from beneath Naruto's breath.

Turning around the corner they came into view of a rundown apartment complex. The sign "Paradise Apartments" was hanging on by a single nail. The siding was coming off in places, and what little was left of the paint was a dingy yellow. Upon Naruto moving in the three of the remaining four occupants up and moved out leaving the aging landlady as Naruto's only neighbor.

"Remember when we first saw this place?" Naruto asked.

"Yes I remember quite well." Arius replied

**SUPER ULTIMATE SUPER AUTHOR SUPER POWER OF ABSOLUTE AWESOME SUPER LONG-WINDED-NESS: SUPER FLAHBACK TECHINQUE ACTIVATE!**

"This place is a shithole." Arius and Naruto said at the same time. "Children shouldn't use that kind of language, even if it is true." The man added.

**SUPER TECHNIQUE DEACTIVATE!**

The old women who owned the apartment building was kindly if not a little senile, she kept calling Naruto by the name of Minato. Every time she would call him that Arius would laugh, but Naruto didn't get the joke (_yet_). She asked that in exchange for living there all "Minato" would have to do is fetch her groceries for her once a week, it was a good deal in Naruto's opinion. Each room was in the same state of disrepair so Naruto selected one of the bigger two bedroom apartments for himself. The first week was either spent learning to read or fixing up his apartment to an "adequate" level as Arius put it. This included sweeping, dusting, painting, mopping, find a new door, find furniture, replacing almost all the hot water pipes, and the use of six individual air fresheners. After the cleaning of Naruto's new home Arius checked out of his hotel room for the guest room of Naruto's new home.

They divided up their time for the next eleven weeks between the library, the apartment, and occasionally the park.

On Thursday of the twelfth week they had just enjoyed some roast beef sandwiches for lunch. _I have put it off long enough, I should have left last week. _After cleaning up Arius sat down in the seat directly across from Naruto. "I have done what I said I would do, I have taught you to read and write. Now I am sorry to say this but I will be leaving today." Naruto's smile disappeared from his face. "Do not be that way. I am a wanderer, I originally only intended to stay in Konoha for a few weeks to do a little research. I have the information I came for and I have to meet someone in Suna in four days. Now do you remember why I said you should become a shinobi?"

"Because of people hating me for a reason I cannot control finding a job other than a shinobi will be hard." Naruto recalled

"That is correct so you need to enroll in the Ninja Academy, talk to the Hokage about it. I shall return before you graduate from the academy. But for being such a good student I have two gifts." Reaching to his left sleeve he pulled it back revealing three intricate designs. He touched the first and a leather book poofed into existence. "This is a book on the art of sealing. Seals are capable of anything, from storage to bending reality." When he saw the twinkle in the blonde's eyes Arius said "They are by no means toys to play around with." The twinkle died down a little bit. "When I say sealing is an art I mean it, you must practice your handwriting in order to use seals, and when you learn to access your chakra you will be able to make your own, don't cha know. Now to your next gift." He touched the second tattoo, and a brush and inkwell poofed into the world. The scholar shook up the inkwell. "Pull up one of your sleeves."

Pulling up his left sleeve to his shoulder Naruto asked. "What are you going to do?"

"Even now without any training you have an amazing amount of chakra, many times more so than the Hokage had during his prime. But to any trained shinobi you are a torch on a dark night to any sensor you are a beacon, they can sense the amount of chakra that your body naturally emits. So I am basically restricting the amount of chakra that you emit. This will give you the ability to use stealth, one of the lost shinobi skills in my opinion." He started painting on Naruto's arm starting from the shoulder and working down. When it was done it was a very intricate network of circles and lines. When done he placed his hand upon the array and it started to slither up the boys arm till it stopped and took the form of a sun the size of a baseball. "This seal is called the "Dark Sun", it is one of my original creations. When you learn about seals you will be able to deactivate it. It would be best if you did not show this to anyone." Satisfied with his work he resealed his brush and inkwell. "State the six true rules of a shinobi." The scholar said with the most serious of faces.

"One, do not fight for yourself fight for those that are precious to you. Two, deception is your friend even when no one else is. Three, a comrade is more important than any rule or mission. Four, if you think the worst of any situation then things can only look up. Five, your body is as strong as your mind and your mind is as weak as your body. And six, don't piss off people who handle your food." Naruto recited from memory.

"Good. Now I best be off." The robed man said while packing up everything he owned into his brown suitcase.

"Thank you for everything that you've done." Naruto said while bowing. _I shall become a strong shinobi._

"One more thing" Naruto's ears perked up. "This city has grown boring, it had at one time a prankster of great skill. She later became a great ninja due to her abilities learned while pranking, now what was her name" Arius assumed a thinking pose and stroked his imaginary beard. "Ah, that's right her name was Kushina Uzumaki." With that Arius vanished in a poof of white smoke.

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**Well that is chapter 2. If you have any questions please let me know, I know a few things didn't make sense. I would also very much like a review. At the time that I had written this I had not gotten a single review, it made me sad T.T **


	3. Chapter 3 Knowledge is power

**Sorry for the super incredibly long wait. I just couldn't get write anything worth reading so I took a break and went back to look at my original inspiration.**

**Interesting quote of the day- "Artists are the weathervanes of society."**

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Chapter 3. Knowledge is power

Naruto's next two years were full of training and studying… a prank or two were not uncommon. The first year while in the library he stumbled along a fitness book which stated that a shinobi should start training the body as early as four, and seeing as how Naruto was five he saw himself as behind and aimed to make up for lost time. At first he would wake up early each morning and jog to a clearing on top of the Hokage monument, where he would work out until he dropped then get back up and do more. He did this every morning until noon where he would eat his prepared lunch, then head down to the library for the rest of the day. After a few weeks he stumbled upon a fitness book that suggested that the body requires a day minimum to rebuild muscle, and that it would be much more successful to have a full day of rest than training every day. Needless to say each night that his head hit the pillow he was out like a light.

So on his first day off he was wandering the streets thinking of ways to make some money. Although the money the Hokage gave him covered the basic needs there wasn't much left for non-essential items or activities. When he came out of his daze he found himself in front of a weapon shop called "Higurashi's Bladeworks" with a notice on the door. It was an advertisement for recycling scrap metal, and if you wanted the job you were to inquire inside. Thinking it would be an easy way to make money Naruto went in, what he found inside was a world he never knew existed. He had entered the world of sharp pointy things, and he would never be the same. Along each wall were very sharp very pointy things of every shape and size. Daggers, axes, spears, katanas, kunai, ninja wire, and much more were neatly organized by type on simple wooden racks. Above the register were mounted a pair of curving short swords, one black one white, arranged in a yin yang fashion with a plague underneath witch read "I am the bone of my sword". (_I had to do it, I'm sorry). _When the door closed behind him a bell rang. The sounds of heavy footsteps could be heard drawing closer then out from behind the curtain in the back of the shop a huge form walked out. The man was six feet tall with shoulders which seemed four feet wide. He wore a thick leather blacksmiths apron, dull black boots, a black shirt and pants and was completely bald. His arms were thicker some trees. His face said he didn't have time for distractions.

In a low bass filled voice "This is a shinobi only store."

Swallowing a big gulp of air "I saw your sign out front and what was wondering what kinds of metals you would want." Naruto said in one breath.

"Aren't you a little young to work?" Retorted the bear of a man.

"No." Naruto said steeling himself. "I need the money."

"Whatever, iron or steel for weapons. As much as you can get. I pay by the pound." He said then walked into the back.

* * *

Naruto was thoroughly confused as to where he could get iron or steel without having to "liberate" them. _The iron and steel is going to be made into weapons so old or broken weapons would work, right? So where are there old weapons… training grounds._ So on the days (_Wednesdays and Sundays) _off he would go around to the training grounds and collect discarded or lost weapons. The majority of them were rusted or blunted but a few were undamaged, those were the ones he kept and stockpiled. Most were kunai or shuriken some ninja wire here and there, but on one day he found a tanto half buried under a tree root. The ebony sheath had a crack running down its length, but the blade itself was without a chip crack or dent. The entirety of the blade had a red hue, but not in a way that suggested that it was stained with blood but that the metal itself was red. He took it home and placed it in his secret hiding spot under a loose floorboard. At the end of the next week there were two good sized bags worth of broken weapons. When he decided that there was enough to fetch a good price he took his surplus in, there was too much for his frame to carry so he had to borrow a wagon from the landlady in order to transport them all.

He dragged the wagon in through the front door and when the bell went off the curtain parted once again but instead of the moving mountain of a man there was a petite woman who came out. She wore a red Chinese shirt and green pants. She had brown hair put up in a ponytail and light brown eyes. Whereas the man exuded strength and power she had an aura of calm and serenity.

"What can I help you with young man?" She asked in a sweet tone.

Pointing to his cargo "I brought scrap metal, Miss." He said in a childish tone.

"Why aren't you a charmer. I'm Chou Higurashi I run the store here. What's your name?" She said kindly.

"Naruto Uzumaki"

"It's nice to meet you Naruto. Let me get Han." _Holy shit he looks like a miniature Minato!_ She thought but kept her face from showing it as she turned and went into the backroom. When she returned the large man was in tow. "This is Han." She said while gesturing to the large man.

"I brought iron and steel." He said indicating to the wagon behind him.

The big man walked over and started going through the assorted scrap. "Where did you get these?" Han said.

"I found them at the training grounds." The blond replied.

Standing up and walking over to the counter. "There is about one hundred and fifty pounds give or take." Said the smith. He opened the register and started counting out bills. He came back with a fairly sizable stack of money, and handed money to the smiling blond. "The quality of the metal is higher than the scrap metal I expected so I threw in something extra. Can you get more?"

While counting his wad of cash with a gleam in his eyes. "Yes. I'll just go to the other training grounds." With a puzzled look on his face. "How many areas are there?" Naruto asked.

"Seventy plus." Chou chimed in from across the room while cleaning weapon racks.

"I got all that from grounds one and two." Looking up from his wad a mischievous grin adorned his face. "Well I guess I'm going to be busy."

"If you happen to find any colored steel I would be willing to pay for those pieces individually."

"Colored steel?" Naruto replied.

"Most weapons are made out of grey iron or grey steel, the metal is fairly simple to produce but is not very good at channeling chakra. But there is a certain type of metal that can conduct chakra but is difficult to produce. It's called Evon." The big man lectured. "The metal comes in a variety of colors in each of which has unique properties and rarities. Blue being the most common, then black, yellow, green, red, and white."

"If i would have by chance come across a Red Evon tonto and wished to sell it how much would it be worth? Hypothetically of course." Naruto asked.

Without batting an eyelash. "Between ten and forty thousand depending on maker and quality." Naruto was practically foaming at the mouth. "Why? Would you by chance have found one?"

"No." Naruto said without making eye contact with Han or Chou."_He's not very good at lying." Husband and wife thought at the same time._

Deciding that he needed to go blow some of his wad. "I thank you for allowing me to work with you" While in a deep bow with his head down and hands at his sides. One of the books that he had come across was an etiquette book and it said that when showing thanks a deep bow is the appropriate action.

"Just bring more metal." Han said as he picked up each bag with one hand then retreated to the backroom but before he crossed through the curtain he flashed a smile. _He's a spitting image of Minato how has no one recognized this?_ It was unseen by Naruto but did not go unnoticed by Chou. The blonde proceeded to leave.

* * *

Some days later.

Naruto had systematically started cleaning out the rest of the training areas save for 44, as he deemed it far too dangerous for the level he was at. He had recovered "scrap" from more than twenty or so training grounds. It was a cold and cloudy day so Naruto had his toad hat and scarf covering the majority of his face. He had just finished cleaning out the forest surrounding training ground number four when he spied a lone man standing in front of a marble memorial. The man was tall with the standard jonin uniform on. He had white hair and his headband was covering his left eye. "Whats that thing for?" the blonde asked. Looking back at the marble object Naruto could see that it was in the shape of a diamond with names carved on it. There is a stone pillar behind it with a white marble flame on top.

Not taking his eyes off the monument. "It's the monument of the fallen, the names of all those that fell in battle from the first shinobi war to today."

"You look sad, you know some of the names on there?" The boy guessed.

"My best friend, my teacher, and many comrades. I wasn't strong enough to save them." The man said in a monotone voice.

"You can't save everybody. But you shouldn't feel sorry for them or yourself. So what if they're gone, you're still here so live for them. A friend of mine told me that when you lose someone you should carry their memory not their burden. Otherwise you'll break."

"What does a little kid like you know about loss?" The scarecrow said.

"Nothing, you can't lose what you never had." Taking the hat and scarf off he bowed to the monument in respect. "I'm sure they would be happy knowing you can't move on." With that the blonde started walking away. The identity of the child did not go unnoticed to the man.

A long time passed as the man stood in one place. "Could he be right? What should I do Obito, sensei, father?"

* * *

This chapter was a bitch and a half to write for some reason. Its short of what I wanted but the next chapter should be better.

Now I need a better name for the chakra channeling metal. Fornix was the best I could come up with on the spot. So send me some names, I will be very appreciative.


	4. Chapter 4 Lord of Laughs

I finished chapter three but I changed some things so it might be a good idea to go back over it again. So here is chap 4. Hope you enjoy. On a side note, I'm hungry.

* * *

Chapter 4 Lord of laughs

Chakra can be divided into five primary elements Wind, Fire, Lightning, Earth and Water. Wind is free formless and invisible. It is most associated with the act of cutting. Fire is raging hungry and shapeless. It is most associated with burning or melting. Lightning is fast bright and direct. Lightning has a piercing affect. Earth is rigid and stabilizing. It is most associated with the defense and strengthening. Water is defined and always moving. Water is the most malleable and as such has defensive piercing and cutting effects. There are multiple subcategories that are created by mixing two or more of the primary elements; Ice, Steam, Mud, Magma, Sand, etc. Healing or life chakra is a special form of chakra in that it has no traits from any of the primary elements but is at the same time meshes well with them. All humans and animal possess chakra in some amount but for the most part are unable to apply or access it. Shinobi and Samurai have found ways to tap into their chakra networks and use it for various purposes. Once a person has tapped into their Chakra for the first time their body undergoes a change. The density of their bones increases making them stronger and allows them to undergo much more force than that of an average human. The density of their muscles increases allowing them to exert more force, the length of time for the muscles to atrophy also lengthens. Tapped Chakra networks in children result in early maturing. It is also believed that an extended lifespan is also the result of a tapped network, but some specialists believe it is the healthier and more active lifestyles that shinobi and samurai live that lead to their longevity.

Naruto put the book down with a sigh. It was the same in this book as any of the other ones that he could get access to. He had been searching for months through each chakra related book he could find but none of them gave any info on how to tap into your chakra network. As he was not a shinobi he could not gain entrance to the jutsu archives so he had been forced to search every book in the public section of the library. He thought of sneaking in but the guards at the entrance seemed very well trained, they never left their post and they were always on alert. _If I could use my chakra then I could start making real seals instead of just doodles I would also be able to start chakra control exercises,_ _but without it I'm a civilian stuck in a child's body._ He would not get frustrated or mad no it was better to get more driven to the cause… or take his extra negative energy and apply it to something productive.

Giving up or his current course of action he pulled out his prank journal, in it the plans for all past and future pranks. He had been pranking every major clan from the stoic Aburame to the rigid (stick up ass) Uchiha as a form of training for the last two years. His stealth and infiltration abilities had grown to what he and most of ANBU considered professional levels. His pranks were never violent or destructive, so as not to give people an excuse to off him. His next would be his biggest yet, his target, the Inuzuka. He had already scouted his next target, and in doing so he located the weaknesses of the outer defenses (walls), patrol routes and shift changes. In six more hours it would be dark and he "Look it the demon. Why is he even allowed in here." Caught Naruto's attention. Looking over his should to the next table he saw to civilians "whispering" to each other. _I swear demon this monster that, throw in a freak every once in a while, hell spawn would be nice but something original please! Or at least come out and say it, it's really not that hard Ky-uu-bi. _He thought to himself. They saw him looking at them and they started to glare whereas he just put on one of his fake smiles. Number 6 to be exact. _Go ahead piss off the five hundred foot mass of chakra that's a wonderful idea. Whatever I'm off to kick the hornets' nest… again. _Naruto thought to himself with a smirk. But there was a rumbly in his tumbly. "Food, require food." So off he went to Ichiraku's for his pre-prank celebration.

* * *

It was dawn when I single yell was heard in the air. Then another and another till it was a chorus of anger and surprise. The yelling was accompanied by the howls of dogs and wolves alike. Many would talk of this day for generations to come. But among the commotion the gentle laughter of a little boy could be heard by those that were searching for it.

In the night Naruto had slipped by the patrols entered the rooms of all the clan members and replaced all their clothes with black leather bondage gear, including but not limited to whips, leashes, gags, blind folds, whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Later they would find out that their entire supply of coffee had been laced with several different laxatives.

ANBU upon hearing the commotion immediately arrived on the scene to investigate, and after a few minutes were off to gather the usual suspects. Seeing as how there was only one person dumb enough to prank an entire clan ANBU raced off to look for one blonde headed boy. The ensuing chase resulted in twenty to thirty ANBU units to be ensnared within traps ranging from clouds of itching powder to water balloons filled with pink paint launched at his pursuers and lasted four hours but was brought to an end when the head of the Inuzuka clan dressed in black leather short shorts knee high boots and a bustier tackled the boy causing him to lose conciseness. Some of the pursuing ANBU later said that the outfit looked very flattering on Tsume Inuzuka, but the smile on her face would haunt their memories for years to come.

* * *

"Fangirls." With that Naruto bolted upright out of his coma and scampered into the nearest corner with eyes wide looking everywhere for signs of danger. The faces of the adult's in the room faulted at Naruto actions. Speaking up the Hokage said "He was trampled by Itachi Uchiha's fangirls no less than four times, it resulted in deep mental scarring."

"Makes sense." Everyone agreed at the same time.

Naruto found himself in the Hokages office surrounded by the usual crowd. The Hokage, ANBU commander Taurus, Elders Homura and Koharu, and of course Tsume Inuzuka (still in leather). Instantly Naruto flashed his patent pending smile number14, the one that said "hey guys why am I here I haven't done anything". Needles to say it didn't work. "Would you like to explain yourself?" The Hokage asked.

"Well I'm three feet eight inches I like ramen and long walks on" the blonde was interrupted by a blast of Killer Intent (_it shall now be called Ki.)_causing him to stop. "Fine yes I snuck in to the Inuzuka's property and stole their clothes and put laxative in their coffee. But it wasn' "

"Wait, say that again?" Tsume interrupted.

"Stole clothes or laxatives in coffee?" Tsume instantly disappeared in a cloud of grey smoke. _And if I wanted to I could have just killed off the entirety of one of Konoha's strongest clans._

"He just confessed, so I'll deal with the punishments. The rest of you are excused." He said indicating the rest of the occupants of the room.

"Yes Hokage-sama." They answered and started to file out of the room. Flashing glares at the boy.

Flashing through twelve hand signs the Hokage activated the privacy seals placed throughout the office. "You single handedly snuck into the Inuzuka compound swapped out their clothes for bondage gear and planted laxatives in their coffee. Now what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Death count is eighty-six not including their ninken. The village is now without a good portion of its tracking and assault divisions." Naruto said without batting an eyelash. Play time was earlier now it was business. He moved over to the chair in front of the Hokage's desk.

"What rating would you give them?" The Hokage asked while taking out his old wood pipe and lighting up. Early on he had discovered Naruto's sharp mind and impressive set of skills. The boy had a knack for sneaking into places that were restricted leaving behind no clues as to the perpetrator… unless he wanted to that is. As such the "God of shinobi", the "Professor" had been contracting Naruto out to locate some of the weaknesses in the village's defenses. Since Naruto's first rounds of "pranking" the defenses of each individual clan has risen, but was still unable to keep the blonde out.

"C… C+."

"Really? That's quite generous coming from you."

"Normally yes but this time I was almost caught, though it was by a half asleep child on his way to the bathroom."

Taking a long drag from his pipe. "How long till you have the report finished?"

"I still have to return their clothes and apologize so I would say tomorrow at the earliest."

"Now how did my ANBU fair?" Said Taurus as he materialized from the shadows flanked by Cat who was still covered in glitter from the chase. Taurus and Cat were the Third Hokage's most trusted ANBU.

"Poorly, they still fall for relatively simple traps and evasive maneuvers. I suggest you make sure they are familiar with the entire city and not just their patrol routes."

"Nothing is ever simple with you." Cat said causing Naruto to give him a devilish smile.

"Is there anything else I should know?" The masked man said in his monotone voice.

"Not that I can… actually now that I think about it are any of your men afraid of spiders?"

"Not that I know of." _Sucks to be you, Mouse._

"That's good." The Jinchuriki said with an evil smile. Standing up he bowed to the two masked men. "I thank you for allowing me to use your ANBU in order to further my skills." He said humbly.

Now it was Taurus and Cat bowing. _Your polite when you want to be aren't you?_ "No I thank you with your constant…distractions it allows my men the opportunity to sharpen their skills in this peaceful time." The two masked men vanished back into the shadows of the room.

"You get the same punishment as last time, library duty for two weeks. Now is there anything else that you would like to talk about while you're here?" The Hokage asked while looking at his city through the windows.

"In fact there is. Since you won't tell me how to tap into my chakra network till I enroll in the academy I would like to enroll for this coming school year."

Sarutobi looked shocked for a second but quickly regained his composure. "Are you sure that's what you want? Are you okay with being in a class room where you are two years younger than everybody?"

"I'm fine with it. It's not like I have any friends my age I would like to go to school with." The boy said with fake smile number 2.

Sighing "Alright ill set up everything just show up on the twenty second of next month seven thirty in the morning. Just talk to the secretary."

"Alright thanks old man I'll drop by tomorrow to liven up your day." The blonde said with real smile number 1. And with that he left.

Right before he closed the door on his way out he heard the old man say "Now back to the Uchiha problem."

* * *

Naruto had almost finished his mandatory six hours of "punishment" (he likes the library) for the day when while sorting returns he came across a biography of the Fourth Hokage called "Yellow Flash: The man the legend the pervert" authored by one Arius Noctis. So after finishing his unspeakably cruel punishment of making the library look nice he checked the book out.

That night after making a pasta salad and potato's for dinner he curled up in his bed with his book and began to read. It would change many things.

* * *

After a sleepless night Naruto had come to the conclusion that he was the son of the Fourth Hokage. _It makes sense that a man like him wouldn't use some random child to put the Kyuubi in. He was known to put comrades first so there is no way he would force the burden onto someone else, but there is still no record of him having a wife or child. If she died it would make sense to not make it public knowledge since Iwa would stop at nothing to kill any living Namikaze. But I need proof proof proof proof proof proof… the Namikaze estate! He was a seal master so it makes sense that he would use a blood seal to as a key for the estate. I could have a home. Wait calm down there is still the possibility I'm wrong. I'll go there after dark. _Having decided on a plan of action Naruto proceeds to prepare himself for a regular day.

It was after dark and Naruto was sneaking his way through the city to the clan district. Upon entering the clan district Naruto made his way to the northwest corner to where the estate was. The Namikaze compound was a high walled property consisting of two buildings a two story building of good size but significantly smaller than that of the other clans and a smaller building most likely a dojo (Can't see over wall to check). Naruto could barely control the shaking in his hands. The gate was a very imposing sight; it rose fifteen feet into the air and was decorated in a spear motif leading to the row of sharp pointy things on top. _That is an imposing gate._ But in the center was a circle plate with a complicated seal array on it. Having studied the book that Arius gave him Naruto could tell that the array was a very complex form of a bloodline seal. Knowing that only a touch would be all the seal needed to activate the array Naruto raised his shaking hand and touched it to the plate. Array glowed and with a click the gate swung silently open.

* * *

There goes chapter 4. I put a double rush on this one so that you would forgive me for the super long wait for chapter 3.

Next chapter the Uchiha massacre. Please send in reviews… Pretty please with sugar and gold bars on top.


	5. Chapter 5 Legacy of a hero

Well upon request here is my fifth chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

While I was writing this chapter I realized that I interchange shinobi and ninja. Just thought you should know that I won't go with one over the other.

I was just thinking that I have read more than a few fanfics and forgot even more and that some of my ideas might not be as original as I think they are. So if there is any blatant plagiarism or if parts of the story run very similar to others let me know and I'll change it. I don't like plagiarism and I don't like taking credit for other people's work.

I try to get graphic in this chapter I don't know if I achieve it but just letting you know beforehand.

* * *

Chapter 5 Legacy of a hero

Naruto stood still as he looked over his home and with it the bloodline that all had thought lost. (_When I say bloodline I mean as in lineage not kekkai genkai.) _He was a prince among orphans, to be a relative of a Kage put you in the upper echelons of society but being a child of one made you royalty. Not that it would change people's opinion of him being that he was a Jinchuriki of the creature that almost killed them all . But then again with the Namikaze name came a council seat, and with it forced respect by almost everyone.

He decided that it would be a good idea to scope the place out before he claims it later you know so the transition will go smoother… yeah that's it. So upon entering his eyes shot open as wide as possible as he took in the sites (_all the sites he could see in the dark anyways.)_ All the bushes and flowers had died off or became so overgrown and entangled that it was impossible to tell what was supposed to be there and what wasn't. The walkway was laid with stone of a deep red color indicative of the quarries to the North. The main house was a traditional style house, which most of the clans use, with a second story which while uncommon to most of the other clan houses it was not unheard of. The paint had started to fade in some spot or was discolored in others but the overall structure still looked sturdy despite the lack of care for the last six years. Despite what the house looked like from over the wall the house was significantly larger than Naruto first guessed. The main building from outside the property looked to be around two thousand feet but on the inside of the wall was easily quintuple that. _Wow that's a big house, someone must have been planning on a growing family._

Going around the side our hero confirms his suspicions about the other building. It was in fact a dojo, of sorts. It was almost completely open building with only one actual wall and was completely devoid of anything, no equipment no wearing from use no dirt no dust no evidence whatsoever that it had been ever used or that it had spent six years out in the elements unattended and still looked new._ He must have some seals in use. Now that I think about it I wonder what would happen if someone would try to jump over the fence instead of going through the gate?... Oh well that's a question for another time._

Behind the house was an open air hot springs. _Big bath, cool.  
_

Overall Naruto had to agree his future home was awwwwwwweeeeesooooooommmmmme! _I have got to be loaded with a house this size._ Naruto suddenly got an enlightened look on his face._ The old fart's using my clan money to pay for my room and board. Well at least I won't have to feel guilty about using that money anymore._

It was getting really late and Naruto had a prank to plan out for the following week, not to mention training so he decided that it was time to get back to his apartment, his home wasn't going to go anywhere. _Home I like the sound of that. _After looking at the open gate for a few minutes he relocked the entrance to the compound and went on his way. _I'm not ready for it yet. I'm not at a point in my life where I can embrace my name. Maybe after I become a competent ninja, but not now._

* * *

Later that night Naruto sat in his bed unable to go to sleep with everything that had happened that night. He couldn't stop thinking of his family home and what still lies inside yet to be discovered. It was common knowledge that the Fourth Hokage was an unparalleled seal master and that his signature move the Hirashin was due to his genius in the sealing art. And as such Naruto was drooling uncontrollably at the thought of getting his hands on Hirashin or at the least any of the Fourths research notes. _I could be freakin epic. Naruto Namikaze Uzumaki the world's greatest ninja…. Damnit all, I need to sleep if I stay up any later I'm going to suffer tomorrow. _Naruto closed his eyes and with a smile on his face lied down and surrendered himself to sleep.

When sleep didn't come (_sleep, you bastard why won't you come? WHY?)_ After an hour or so due to his excess energy the blonde decided to do something… productive. He turned on the lamp next to his bed and whipped out his prank journal. Naruto started flipping through it looking at the various ideas and targets. Stopping at one idea he had written down a while ago a wicked smile started growing on his face. The plan was for the Uchiha clan and their underwear. It was relatively simple, sneak in steal all their underwear and place it on the outer defensive wall of Konoha. _Oh the faces of the proud Uchiha picking their unmentionables off the wall. Next Monday will be remembered for years to come. _Oh how right he was.

* * *

The week leading up to the prank was the same as any other week, training, looking for metal, running from angry villagers, reading books. The only thing that was out of place was that the Hokage's eyes seemed to be getting more tired with every passing day and the scent of alcohol was starting to linger in his office. Naruto had repeatedly asked him about it and he would simply reply. "Just old wounds flaring up."

It was Sunday afternoon the weather had been perfect everyday for the last week or so and people were out doing their shopping visiting friends or doing nothing in particular. Naruto had the remainder of the day free (_finished training for the day)_ so he was just casually strolling the village. He glanced up towards the mountain with the four faces of the Hokages past and present on its face. On the first Hashirama Senju, second Tobirama Senju, third Sarutobi Hiruzen, and fourth Minato Namikaze. _They can fit maybe two or three more faces on there before they run out of room. _His attention was focused mostly on the two faces on the right. _Sarutobi Hiruzen god of the shinobi, a living legend. Minato Namikaze the yellow flash, savior of Konoha. I guess men larger than life deserve a mountain dedicated to them. _Looking at the third face. _The old man's been stressed lately I should cheer him up. _He decided that it would be a good idea to surprise the old man and take him out to dinner, after all the metal business was paying off better than expected.

Naruto arrived at the Hokage tower and walked through the doors. The lobby of the tower was a large open area with seats along the walls with numerous hallways going off further into the building. The walls were decorated with the symbols from all of Konoha's prominent clans and guilds_ (art guild, merchants' guild things like that)_ along with pictures of famous ninja. There were various people milling around waiting for meetings with various important people, most likely. Sitting at the far wall behind the receptionist desk was a young red headed green eyed woman totally immersed in her work. Walking up to her "Hey beautiful, what say you and I go out for a night on the town?" Naruto asked with a haughty smile.

The redhead turned from her work to greet her guest. "I'm sorry but I've moved on your just not around enough to fill my needs." The secretary said while raising her arm to hide the 'tears'. Both of them proceeded to bust out laughing. "Hello Naruto are you here to see the Hokage?"

"Saru how could you say that, I only have eyes for you?" Naruto continued to play. Attracting attention from the other people in the lobby of the tower some of them showing anger that the demon would dare step into the Hokage tower while other just continued on with their lives since this was a fairly common occurrence. Ms. Saru Kagayoshi was the tenth secretary that Sarutobi had had within the last two years to since the others were sent on trips to Ibiki Morino for almost breaking the thirds law in front of the third with whispers of 'Demon' and 'Monster'. The Hokage got lucky with Saru since she wasn't born in Konoha but moved into town a few years ago so she had no reason to hate the blonde.

"Seeing him for any reason in particular?" The green eyed girl asked.

"He's been stressed lately so I thought that I would take him out for dinner." Usually it was Sarutobi that took Naruto out for food but this time the blonde had an ulterior motive. In a few days time it would be the Hokage's birthday and with the celebration and all the gift givers _(butt kissers) _it was unlikely that Naruto would get any face time at all.

"I've noticed it too. I think it's the Uchiha's, recently the Hokage and Fugaku have been meeting quite frequently."

Fugaku Uchiha was the head of the Uchiha clan and was one of Konoha's few seal specialists (_not a master like Jiraiya or the fourth Hokage but a person with sufficient skills in the sealing art)_. He was known to be a very stern man with high moral standards and a memory that never forgets an insult. He was also a royal douche bag in the opinion of a young blonde Jinchuriki. Fugaku had been in more than one of the mobs that had tried to rid the world of the 'demon'.

"He doesn't have any more meetings today, so it should be okay to go up and see him." Saru said while looking over the Fourth's schedule for the day.

"Thank you gorgeous." Naruto bowed and was off through the corridors and hallways to go see his favorite Kage.

Arriving at the Hokage's office Naruto contemplated his entrance. It was going to be a special night so just walking in was out of the question. Thinking for a second Naruto decided on a course of action. So with as much force as he could muster the blonde kicked open the door.

The Hokage was struck by surprise by the sudden intrusion and as such didn't quite hide his orange colored 'literature' in time. Naruto being a young impressionable mind started showing signs of disgust at the Hokage's literary choice. "Wow, I come here to offer you a break from the evils of paperwork and a free dinner and what do I see?" Sarutobi was beginning to look more and more guilty with each passing second. "I see a dirty old man reading porn. And not just any porn no, but bottom grade 'Icha Icha paradise', quite frankly I'm shocked shocked I tell you." Naruto said as he threw up his hands in disgust.

"Um well you see… um I had…uh just …finished my paperwork was light today and I was uh" The dignified leader of Konoha was cut off.

"You know what I don't care just don't let it happen again." Naruto had already known about the old man's pass time. It was understandable that someone with so much pressure on his shoulders would have some sort of outlet. But then there was the fact that Naruto was pretty much sure that Sarutobi was a pervert of monumental proportions. Naruto had at one point seen the Third staring rather deeply at his crystal ball, the one that allowed the user to look **anywhere** within the perimeter of Konoha. But the truly horrible thing about the entire 'Icha Icha' series was a cluster fuck of bad spelling plot holes and grammatical trash that was disguised as 'art'. During one of Naruto's 'punishments' he had stumbled upon one of the millions of copies in existence and it had left deep wounds on the blondes psyche from the shear amount of wrongness contained within its little pages.

"It won't happen again, I assure you." _Since ill be getting a new stronger sound proof door with special locks as a birthday gift to myself. My sanctuary will be complete soon hahahahahahaha. _The Hokage said, or didn't say. "You said something about food? And ditching paperwork?" The ninja leader then used his puppy dog face _(sorry no puppy dog jutsu, that's just too overdone.)._

"Fine, I was going to take you to any place of your choice since you've been so stressed lately."

"Barbeque?" A Kage level puppy dog jutsu followed. _(Yes I'm a hypocrite but that's one of the reasons why I is awesome.) _

"Okay fine. Can we go now? I've been starving for the last hour. " The blue eyed hero said as he was fidgeting in place.

"Just hold on a second" Sarutobi activated the intercom. "Saru, I'm done for the day."

"Yes Hokage-sama, please remember that you have a council meeting at seven tomorrow morning, and have fun." The secretary replied with a hint of mirth.

"Thank you." He switched off the intercom and started walking out of his office with Naruto.

* * *

We now find the aging Kage and Naruto sitting with bulging bellies and a look of utter contentment on their faces. "Thank you Naruto, I needed this just a simple dinner without any distractions."

"Oh its fine after all you've done for me it's the least I could do. But" Fishing in his cargo pants he pulled out a package wrapped in butcher paper. The Hokage looked at the young blonde with a smile. "this is the real reason for tonight, happy birthday."

Tearing through the packaging like a little child the Third was rewarded with a brand new wooden pipe. It sported some designs that were not common in the Elemental Nations. "This is a Moheegan pipe where ever did you find this?"

"There was a trader that came through Konoha a few weeks ago and this was one of the pipes he had. I saw one in a book once, it said that that Moheegan wares were very rare in the Elemental Nations. It seems the trader didn't know what he had." Naruto gave with a shrug of his shoulders. "You're going to be swamped with butt kissers for the next few days so I wanted to give you this beforehand."

"Thank you I've been meaning to get a new one for a while now, hehe last time I got a new pipe was during the third war." The Hokage had his own brand of fake smiles but the one he had on his face wasn't one of them.

"Will that be all for you today Hokage-sama?" The waitress asked without bothering to look at Naruto.

"Yes we are done thank you for the meal."

"Here is your check, have a nice night." The waitress said as she put down bill and cleared away the dishes.

Grabbing the check Naruto looked it over once fished out his wallet and left the correct amount on the table. "It's been fun but I'm behind schedule see later jiji." And like that Naruto was off and out the door before the Third could say anything.

* * *

"Hehe I wonder whose on the chopping block tonight?" Little did he realize the fate that would soon befall on the target of Naruto's pranks.

After dinner with jiji Naruto ran back to double check all his entry and exit plans along with his equipment.

_Sneaking shoes, check, sneaking pants, check, sneaking shirt, check, sneaking mask, check, sneaking gloves, check, four large bags, check, eight smoke bombs, check, camera, check, rope, check, grappling hook, check, utility knife, check, backpack, check, watch, check, lock picks, check, emergency signal flare, check, super awesome thief, triple check._ Naruto took his pranking very seriously.

It was a little past midnight when Naruto made his way to the Uchiha district. T_hey have got to have the biggest egos in the world for them to name a district after themselves._ There hadn't been even a single guard at the entrance to the district it was almost too easy. Coming up to the first house Naruto mentally checked it off. _Mahiro and Sakura Uchiha with their two kids. _Gaining entry to the house was simple it seemed that even with Naruto's constant pranking that the Uchihas were to mighty to place decent locks on their doors. _Will they never learn?_ Naruto quickly but silently made his way through the house towards the parents rooms and their clothes. The room he was looking for was located in the back of the house near the kitchen. Passing the kitchen the infiltrator stopped and took in the smell that permeated the air. _Blood and lots of it._

Approaching the door to bedroom Naruto stuck to the wall and readied himself for whatever lay beyond the door. Reaching out his hand he gripped the door knob and slowly twisted it. As the door inched open the image before him would forever be burned into young Naruto's mind. Lying before him were Mahiro and Sakura Uchiha in all their glory nailed to the wall. The couple was hanging there with throats slashed and intestines drooping from the holes in their abdomen. A look of agony and betrayal forever etched on their faces. But what would stick with the young Jinchuriki for years to come were their eyes. In each socket rested a kunai up to the ring jammed into the Uchiha's skulls. And as icing on the cake their eyes still red with tomoes were cut out and nailed to the wall over an emblem of the Uchiha fan. With the way that their throats had been slashed the artery was allowed to fountain blood upon the walls and floor. Whoever did this did so with the goal of leaving a terrible message.

Stumbling away from the scene of the once proud couple Naruto found himself doubled over in the hallway retching every last bit the content of his stomach. Now Naruto leading the life he had was no stranger to the site of violence or blood but never before had he seen a body in such a condition. With an unsteady voice. "Th th their dd dead. Wh who wwould ddo that?" _Ccalm down. _He proceeded to punch the floor._ Calm down. Think what do I do next?...The kids!_

Dropping all notions of stealth Naruto raced through the house to the kid's rooms. The first of the two rooms was a similar scene to the parents. _Not everybody please! _His prayers were answered. In the second room lay a child a year or so younger than himself still fast asleep. Moving over to the bed Naruto discovered that the child would not wake no matter the stimuli he used whether it be shaking slapping or water in the face. _Maybe a drug or Genjutsu. _Thinking fast Naruto dragged the kid out of bed and towards the closet. Opening it up the would-be thief started shoving clothes and other possessions aside till he found what he was looking for. In his various pranks on the Shinobi clans Naruto had discovered that all of them possessed safe rooms or hidey-holes of some kind and he had successfully found ones in almost every building of the Uchiha district. You didn't live long as a shinobi without being paranoid not that it mattered in this case. Naruto pulled open the compartment and stuffed unceremoniously the young girl inside and shut the door. Naruto then put all the things back the way he had found it. Walking through the house the young blonde gathered everything that could be considered of use. He picked up some shuriken ninja wire and some kunai that were lying around the house. He found some exploding tags and packed them up too, not that he could use them since he couldn't use chakra but better safe than sorry.

_**Evaluate the situation**__, an Uchiha family has been killed and this might not be the only one. Adults and teenager killed but adolescent still alive. No sign of ANBU or other support. __**Plan for the worst**__, assume all other families and individuals killed, and those responsible are still around. Gather more intelligence on the situation and look for survivors before signaling for help. __**Hope for the best**__, I'm so fucked. _

In the shadows of night Naruto went to the next house only to find a similar scene, Uchihas killed in a gruesome way. So he went to the next house and the next and the next. The Uchihas were one of the larger clans having upwards of fifty or so families, and Naruto had seen the corpses that belonged to seventeen houses. Everything from beheadings to what could only be considered drawn and quartering. One couple seemed to have been attacked and killed while having…relations (_wink wink nudge nudge). _He had only found one other living person a lone baby. _Two out of forty, this is not looking good._ It was not looking good, a large portion of the Uchiha ran the police and as such were well trained chunin ninja or higher but from the surroundings it seemed that not a single offensive or defensive jutsu had been used. _So either the ones doing this are really good at their job or there is an inside man. _Naruto thought to himself as he hurried along to the last building on the row only to be stopped by the sound of something hitting the ground. Peering around the corner a struggle unfolded. Bodies littered the ground all around a lone ANBU wearing a hawk mask. There was only one defender left. "We knew something was wrong when Shisui turned up dead but to think that you would kill your entire clan. Why Itachi?"

"You were going to betray Konoha and I couldn't allow that." Itachi said as he readied his ninjato.

"It was for the good of the Uchiha!" The last defender said as he pulled out two kunai and burst towards his foe. Slicing horizontally with one hand and thrusting with the other. Itachi just ducked under both swipes and with speeds light years beyond anything most people could follow he buried his sword hilt deep in the chest of his opponent. It was so graceful so fast so brutal that the man stood there a second as if trying to figure out how he had just died.

_Oh shit! Itachi is bad news, he's an ANBU Captain. I was right I'm fucked._ Naruto retreated back into the shadows of the wall and away from the murderer. Zipping back into an alley Mr. Uzumaki started sorting through his backpack till he found his signal flare. It was a mortar type signal flare used mostly during large campaigns or rescue missions. It came in the color most associated with help, red. It was a simple to operate device with a twenty second delay just long enough for him to hide. Aiming it high over the district Naruto lit the fuse and bolted to the underside of a nearby dumpster. Once inside he waited for the fireworks to start.

"You weren't supposed to kill the children. They were too young to know of the coup." The voice of Itachi said as it grew louder louder. Naruto was sweating bullets at this point for fear of being discovered.

"Oopsie. I forgot, oh well that just leaves you me and your brother. How have the mighty fallen." Said a much deeper voice.

"Leave Sasuke alone old man. Or I will be forced to bring your name back into the light."

"Fine as per our… isn't that a sig" He was cut off as a flaming ball of burning fire was launched into the air for all to see. "nal flare. Damn, I'll contact you later." With that the two assailants were gone.

Positive that they were gone Naruto left his hiding spot and made his way home, having to dodge a few ANBU patrols as they were off to investigate the flare.

That day would go down in history as the day that Itachi Uchiha massacred his entire clan save for his younger brother who was left in a half crazed state, a girl and a baby, which were found unconscious in small panic rooms.

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There we go chapter five is done. Hope you enjoyed it.

I don't know if you realized or not but I have a poll. Its to decide if Naruto will learn to use the tanto he found or not.


	6. Chapter 6 King of Fools

Hello once more.

Please review, I need input on how I'm doing.

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Chapter 6 King of fools

A man in a Chunin uniform stood at the front of the class, the front of the room being the lowest point. He was a nondescript man of average height and build with brown hair and brown eyes. The only thing extraordinary about this man was how ordinary he looked. With a smile on his face he took note of all the children gathered before him. There were kids that belonged to clans great and small even some that came from civilian families had decided to embark upon the path of the ninja. Raising his voice over the sounds of the kids talking to one another the Chunin said. "Okay kids today is the first day of your shin"

BANG. The door was thrown open to reveal a monster of epic proportions. Many that day would say that whatever gods reigned over fashion were brutally and mercilessly butchered by an orange jumpsuit. "Hey sorry I'm late! My alarm clock didn't go off. Hehe" Standing in the doorway was one Naruto Uzumaki, in all his orange glory.

"What the hell are you wearing?" The Chunin said forgetting about all else.

"You like it? I know right its sooo awesome!" He replied as he picked a seat in the middle of the room.

The Chunin's left eyebrow was twitching sporadically. _They told me the demon was going to be in this class but not even the horror stories said he was this bad._ "Anyways as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, today is your first step on the way to becoming a Konoha shinobi. I will be your history teacher for the year my name is Zedsui Kurosaki. " He said as he passed out papers to all the students. "These are permission slips, if you do not belong to a clan you will need someone to tap your chakra network, these permission slips will allow us to do that so we need you bring these back signed and then we will tap your chakra networks which will allow you to use jutsu in the coming years. Now why don't you all come up and introduce yourselves to everyone. Tell us your hobbies, likes, dislikes, and what your goals as a shinobi are."

The kids went in front of the class one by one and introduced themselves. What they said was fairly consistent. Most of their hobbies were games, drawing, or playing with friends. Their likes revolved mostly around family. For dislikes more than a few of them said that they no longer liked the color orange, which prompted Naruto to yell at them about the greatness of orange and ended up with him going off on a tangent about him being Hokage in the future much to everyone's displeasure. A lot of the girls wanted to follow in the steps of Tsunade of the Sanin. While those from some of the clans wanted to bring honor to their names.

Now it was Naruto's turn, the teacher was excited. He ran down the stairs and with a wobbly spin struck a 'heroic' pose. "I'm Naruto Na…Uzumaki! I like ramen! I like sampling different flavors of ramen and I wish to have a ramen named after me once I become Hokage! I dislike the three minutes it takes to cook ramen!" Everyone's sweat dropped at that one. "And I'm going to be the most ninjaing ninja that has ever ninjaed the ninjaing world, NINJA! I'm also going to be Hokage in honor of the Fourth Hokage in all his awesomeness for single handedly defeating the Kyuubi!" Everyone had the same thought at that point _Oh god, please no!_

The instructor however was absolutely livid at this point. "Sit down, now." _How dare he dishonor the Fourth's sacrifice! I'd kick him out now but the Third likes him for some reason. _Naruto scrambled over to his seat at because of the anger in the teachers voice, he was also looking rather confused. "Talk amongst yourselves I have to go attend to something." He exited the room and for the next few minutes there was a thumping sound coming from the hallway every few seconds. The teacher came back in rubbing his forehead. "Okay let's see how much you already know, what are the names of the Hokage's past and present?" He asked. Almost everyone raised their hands. "Matsui." He called out.

"First Hokage Hashirama Senju, Second Hokage Tobirama Senju, Third Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen, Fourth Hokage Minato Namikaze." Matsuri answered.

"Very good, now who can name the five major Hidden Villages? Yes Toru." And so Zedsui went through various subjects finding what the status quo was for his class. "Who can tell me what chakra is?" Looking around the room he spotted the blonde Jinchuriki practically dislocating his arm trying to get called on while uttering 'Oo oo oo oo'. "Yes Naruto."

"It's the white stuff you use to write on the board!" Uzumaki proclaimed proudly, all the other students started laughing at him.

"Wrong, that's chalk not chakra." _Holly shit he's a freaking idiot, this is going to be a very long year. _He thought to himself. "Anyone else think" He was cut off by the bell. "Alright todays a half day so go home and bring back signed permission slips tomorrow. If you need me I'll be in my office… celebrating (getting really drunk) the new semester."

* * *

As all the first year academy students started to file out and go home the orange wonder flew out of the academy grounds with a smile on his face screaming about being the next Hokage. A few minutes later a yellow and orange blur could be scene racing up through the Hokage tower towards Konoha's leader. Slowing at the door labeled Hokage the blonde readied his favorite entrance method.

The door was kicked in with great force causing those inside to jump into action taking up defensive positions with weapons drawn. "Naruto I'm currently in a debriefing cant this wait?" The Third said without looking up from his paperwork, the current form of entry was not uncommon for a certain blonde Jinchuriki.

In the room were the Hokage, a man, and a regular kunoichi, well not so regular. She wore a see-through mesh body suit that stretched from her neck to her thighs accompanied by an open tan trench coat and dark orange mini-skirt. Needles to say none of her curves were hidden. Her purple hair was done up in a short spiky ponytail with a standard leaf forehead protector. The man had long blond mullet style hair with a long pony tail. He had blue eyes indicative of the Yamanaka, a clan of mind readers. He was wearing the standard flak jacket over a black outfit complete with hand guards, forehead protector and a sleeveless red coat.

"Of course this can't wait old man, this is my first step to being Hokage!" Naruto said with a big grin while waving the permission slip around for everyone to see. "I need you to sign this so I can unlock my chakra! Hurry hurry hurry hurry!"

"Since when have you want" He never got a chance to finish as he looked up and saw the disaster that was orange. "What the hell are you wearing?" The Third really wanted to look away but seemed to have lost all motor function to his entire body and so he was unable to look away, leaving him completely open to the entirety of the orange.

_It's it's so orange. _All the adults thought as one.

"You like? It's so awesome isn't it? Just the thing to show the world who the future Hokage is. The guy at the store gave me a great deal for these only 15,000 ryo a set. I could probably get you one to if you wanted." He said while modeling his ensemble. The others in the room shuddered at the price of the clothes.

The Third had started sweating profusely as he attempted to figure out how not to be forced to wear 'kill me dead' orange. But he was not known as the Professor for nothing. "Due to my position as Hokage I am unable to wear anything besides these robes." He said as he gestured to the traditional robes of the Hokage. "Inoichi Anko I have your report if there's anything I need I'll contact you. Have a nice day."

"Hai Hokage-sama." The exhibitionist and the mullet replied then disappeared in puffs of smoke. Naruto went over and closed the door.

"What's all this about, Naruto? Since when did you want to be Hokage and why are you wearing that thing?" Sarutobi said as he lit up his Moheegan pipe.

Naruto sat down in the chair in front of the desk. "Misdirection and deception." He replied.

"Please explain."

"It's so people won't take me seriously. If I look like an idiot then they won't feel threatened by me." Looking down so his bangs cast shadows over his eyes. "Most of the shinobi hate me, and all the civilians despise me for something that's not my fault."

Sarutobi's eyes widened and he tensed up but instantly reverted back to his relaxed position in a way that showed control over mind and body that only a shinobi could. "They don't hate you they"

"They just think I'm the Kyuubi! They think that I'm a slap in the face to the Fourth and his sacrifice." He said as a single tear trickled down his whiskered cheek.

"So you know, but you are in no way the Kyuubi. You're like a kunai sealed inside a scroll. The kunai cannot hurt anyone from inside the scroll and it isn't the scroll itself. And the scroll isn't the kunai." _Now if only everyone else would understand that. _

"That's wrong." The Hokage was surprised and was going to silence Naruto's fears but the blond cut him off. "I'm more like one of those puppets from Suna. By itself it is just a puppet, neither good nor bad. But inside it are blades poisons and explosives that could hurt people if released in the wrong way. I know I'm not the Kyuubi." He tightened his grip on the armrest. "But that doesn't make it any easier living every day hated by everybody."

_This is bad he could turn his back to us and potentially bring his ire upon all of Konoha. With the power he possesses that could be very bad._ "How how did you find out?" Not once had the old man seen Naruto cry whenever he was hurt or alone he would always put up the façade of the happy child as if all the anger and loneliness surrounding his life were to be simply washed away. But now it was evident that really all that had happened was that all that pressure all those feelings were being piled on top one another and have grown to the point where they could no longer be contained.

"I'm not stupid, they talk when they think I don't hear them! It didn't take too much to figure it out." In an instant the old man had moved around from behind his desk and embraced Naruto in a hug. Not a hug of sorrow or pity no, this was a hug of acceptance and love. Naruto tensed up from being hugged as he never really was hugged before, and then he loosened up and received the hug in its entirety. He then did something that would he had never done before, he cried he really cried. It was as if every act of hate, every instance of scorn was turned into a tear and let free. After what seemed like an hour he finally stopped. "Thank you jiji I I needed that."

"It's alright Naruto I will always be here for you. Do you understand why I didn't tell you about this before?" Naruto gave a nod in reply. Moving back behind his desk he plopped down in his chair. "Is there anything else?" He said as he stuffed more tobacco in his pipe and lit it with a low powered fire jutsu.

Wiping away the last of his tears Naruto said. "Can you please not tell anyone that I know about the Kyuubi. I don't want anyone to know at this point."

"I understand. A ninjas secrets are his own." The Third said with a smirk.

"I also need you to sign this so they can tap my chakra." Pulled out the permission slip and handed it to the old man.

Sarutobi studied the paper with a frown. "What do you think of your teacher?" Sarutobi said as rested his chin on his interlaced hands with pipe ablaze.

"He hates me like everyone else. Why?" He said while having a puzzled look on his face.

"The process by which chakra is tapped can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing, or in this case it may be dangerous if they know exactly what they're doing."

"You think they might try to do something to me?... I wouldn't put it past them."

"Sadly we cannot trust this to any normal shinobi." Letting out a big sigh. "Are you sure that you want to do this?"

Without a seconds hesitation. "Yes I want to become a shinobi."

"Okay then I'll do it. Come over here." Naruto went over to the third and stood there with a smile that to Sarutobi reminded him of another blonde one whose picture was hanging on the wall it that very office. The expression said 'I'm ready but are you ready for me?'. The Hokage placed one hand over Naruto's heart and the other over his stomach. "Hold still this will sting." He pushed a little chakra out of each hand and into the boy's body. Naruto instantly doubled over in pain. "It will only last for a few seconds while your chakra fills your coils." Just as the old man said after a few seconds the pain stopped and he stood back up.

"I feel… full." He said while rubbing his stomach.

"Alright now you should go home and take it easy for the rest of the day, your body needs to get acclimated to the influx of chakra."

"Thank you old man for everything." Naruto bowed deeply and left the office shutting the door behind him.

"Now back to paperwork." He said looking at the impressively sized stack of forms, reports and various other annoyances. "Damn you Uchihas even after death you still find a way to make my life hell."

* * *

As Naruto was making his way back home he started feeling more tired with each step. By the time he had got back to his apartment he was swaying left and right. Causing him to attract the glares of the populace… well more so than if he was just wearing orange. His vision was getting blurry to the point that he was seeing double. After more than a few attempts at unlocking his door he stumbled in and closed the door without bothering to lock it again. _Is this supposed to happen? _He thought as his head hit his bed and his consciousness left him.

(_Just warning you the next part is a bit dry but there is a lot of important info in it.)_

He awoke to find himself lying on a stone floor. _Wasn't I in my apartment? _Looking around he finds himself in a very large very long stone corridor, with blue red and purple pipes running across almost the entirety of the ceiling. There were no light sources but it was possible to see. The grey stone despite having cracks and pieces missing were very solid. Rubbing his hand up against the walls he found them very smooth as if something had rubbed up against them leaving them with an almost polished finish. "What the hell happened? I was feeling sleepy and made it to my apartment when everything went black… And why am I wearing these?" Looking at himself he saw that he no longer wore the orange jogging suit. Now he was wearing black combat boots, dark blue cargo pants with the bottoms tucked into his boots. His shirt was made of a durable black fabric, with short sleeves and a red metal plate strapped over his heart etched with an image of a flame. There were metal bracers on both of his arms each of which were engraved with designs. His right arm free flowing swirls like wind. His left was staggered waves. "I look cool and all but who would take my clothes?" Looking around he noted that he was at a dead end and the only way open was straight ahead.

He walked for hours down a perfectly straight corridor without encountering anything at all. No people no animals' hell not even another hallway. He had gone past the point of fear past the point of anxiety and he had just blown past the point of annoyance. It had gotten to the point where he had started talking to himself. "Stupid freaking tunnel stupid freaking light stupid freaking stone. What the hell?" He screamed to the heavens. "Let me out of here now!" There was a loud rumbling as if something massive had begun to stir. The air had started moving forward as being sucked into a void.

"**Come." **Stated a voice that sounded far off in the distance.

"That can't be good." Naruto said aloud to no one in particular. But at least there was someone… or something there. He started down the corridor once again and after a few minutes he came to a fork in the path one going left one going right. "Which way? Right to my certain doom or left to my certain doom?" Looking down he could see the flow of air going to the right. "Right it is." He went right and after a few a while of walking and more walking it became lighter and lighter with each passing second until he came to a big iron door. It was twelve feet tall and it was heavily reinforced with crossbeams and rivets. There were a multitude of locks and bolts on it but they all were in the open position. With a small push the door swung open. Beyond the door lay a large room with a ceiling lost to the dark. Across the room stood a wall consisting entirely out of bars as if it were a giant cage to keep hold a being of colossus proportions. At eye level in the center of the bars was a single piece of paper, with the word seal written in kanji. Walking towards it Naruto noted that there was a faint sound of breathing from behind the bars. "Who's there?"

"**Who indeed."** Was what he got for a reply. Two massive eyes opened, each four times the size of a man. The irises were a regal gold with slitted purple pupils. Just upon a momentary glance one could tell that those eyes held the weight of many years. **"Hello child, I did not expect you for some years yet." **Light in the room shifted illuminating the entirety of the cage. In it lay a giant form. Its body was a mass of pure white fur with red streaks under its eyes and on its shoulders. Swaying gently behind it were nine fox tails tipped in red. The giant fox was a thing of beauty, every inch of it screamed perfect. It was using its front leg to prop up its head.

"You're the Kyuubi aren't you?" The fox just…smirked _(Can foxes smirk?)._ Many things were going through Naruto's mind at this moment. How should he treat the root cause of all his anger and loneliness? He should hate it, despise it wish it dead and gone, but every thought ended with what Arius said 'if if you ever meet the fox try and get on its good side'. But on top of all that one thought kept coming out on top. "You're so so"

He was interrupted **"So beautiful, regal, amazing, pretty, the eighth wonder of the world? Stop me when you find one you like."**

"Not red."

Kyuubi sweat dropped. **"Excuse me."**

"Well all the pictures of you shows that you're red and really… well ugly." Naruto said while scratching the back of his head and looking down.

The giant fox narrowed its gaze. **"Watch it meat sack. That's me in my fury state."**

"Fury state?"

"**I'm a mass of chakra with a consciousness do you really believe that I am a real giant fox? As if, I can change my appearance depending on my mood or mindset. I only use that red version of me when I'm in a psychotic rage. And no I don't want to talk about why I attacked Konoha."**

"Good to know. Why am I here? And what happened to my clothes?" Naruto said while tugging at his clothes.

"**First things first do you know where this place is?" The fox said while gesturing with its snout. **

"Since you're here I'd say, the seal or my head."

"**Your head, and I've got to say it's a bit of a dump. It's one step up from a sewer, which isn't saying much."**

Naruto got a tick mark. "Hey, that's not very not very nice, ya furball! Did you bring me here?"

"**Nope!" The fox answered quite happily. "It probably had something to do with the influx of chakra you received. Your reserves are very large so much so that it was probably bad for your health. You coming here is probably a defense mechanism… or something."**

"Or something? Don't you know?"

"**Don't get snippety with me I could have let you wander the recesses of you mind but I decided to help you out. Besides I'm the **_**prisoner**_** not the warden it's your mind your body you should know more than I do. As for your appearance it's more than likely what you see yourself as."**

"Okay thank you… uh do you have a name? Because Kyuubi No Kitsune is kinda impractical."

"**I don't really have a name, but Mito used to call me Yu."**

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Yu, if you don't mind my asking who's Mito?"

"**Now you use manners, but it is nice to speak with someone again so I guess it is a pleasure. My first host, Mito Uzumaki Senju." **She said with a knowing grin.**  
**

"Uzumaki. Was she related to me?"

"**Yes she was your great aunt or something like that. In fact you're the third Uzumaki to hold me. The second was your mother." **Looking down Yu noticed that there were actual stars in Naruto's eyes at the prospect of learning something about his mother.

"Really will you tell me about her?" The blond looked up expectantly.

"**Maybe some other time, but right now we have business to discuss. I shall extend to you the same deal as I did to Mito and Kushina. You scratch my back I scratch yours."**

"Huh? What can I give you?"

"**Look around." **Naruto looked at the empty stone room that he was in. **"There is nothing in here the only thing I can do is sleep or listen to the world outside through your ears. So if you can make my life in here more tolerable then I will reward you. If you can somehow figure a way to let me out of this cage… well we'll cross that bridge when we get there."**

"Ooookaaaay. It's my mind so it shouldn't be that hard to change it right?"

"**Wrong. This is a true representation of you. This dark hard place is just a reflection of what your life has been to you so far. Before you met Arius there was about knee high water, so it's improved a little but not much. But to try and change your mind without it reflecting your life and who you are would be difficult. My last two containers were generally happier than you so I could deal with their minds. Luckily for me there is a clan in Konoha that specializes in the mind, the Yamanaka I believe it was." **Letting out a long yawn the Yu resettled herself. **"I'm getting tired so let's finish this up for today."**

"Okay hold on one more question, what are the side effects of having you in me?"

"**Lots of chakra, regenerative abilities, immunity to poisons, immortality."**

"Wait wait wait immortality?" Naruto was flabbergasted, his curse had given him something most people only dream about.

"**Well I guess it's not immortality seeing as how you can still die from wounds, more like longevity. With my other containers I was sealed into them by the will of man, but with you it was by the hand of a god so we're basically stuck together forever." **She had on a very vulpine grin.

"How do I leave because that was a very long tunnel I had to go through to get here?"

"**What tunnel?" **Yu said tilting her head to the side.

Turning around "The one through that…door? Where is it?" Naruto said as he spun around searching for the door.

"**Just will yourself to wake up." **With that the blond closed his eyes and was gone as though he was never there. **"It could be worse, he could be a raging idiot."**

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Hey well that's chapter six I hope you enjoyed it.

I tried to make the fox like something closer to okami than the Kyuubi in Naruto if you are trying to decipher my bad imagery. The Naruto Kyuubi is ugly.

I would really like somebodies idea for a name for the chakra conductive metal.

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	7. Chapter 7 Insert awesome chapter title

Sorry for the wait I got a case of the lazys. One or two more chapters till I close the tanto poll so vote now! Send me more reviews please, they make the story better for all.

The next part is a bit of a rant so feel free to skip over it.

Down with censorship!

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Chapter 7 (Insert awesome chapter title)

It was a dreary day. The rain had been coming down since the early morning and showed no sign of ending soon. It seemed as if the sky itself was crying for the one that was lost the previous day. A small group of mourners sat around the grave as it was filled in by the grounds keeper. Among them stood a little boy. His once spiky golden hair was now matted down from the incessant rain. Rivulets ran down his whiskered cheeks, it was impossible to tell whether they were rain drops or tears.

Looking up from the grave he notices the faces of those around him. Some old, with expressions of loss of a longtime friend. Others younger looking around and fidgeting as though they had somewhere else to be. And others, hiding behind an emotionless mask, making it impossible to read their thoughts. At the foot of the grave stood the daughter rambling on about how wonderful her childhood with her mother was. And during the whole speech she was shedding crocodile tears, or she would have had it not been for the rain doing all the work for her. _She doesn't care at all, she probably only came here for the reading of the will._ The women done speaking her piece went back to stand next to her husband of the moment. _The old lady was right he does look like a cross between a salamander and a weasel._ Naruto would often be the only source of human contact for his aging landlord, and as such got to learn a fair amount about her life. She had always had a rocky relationship with her daughter, Diane, and as the years went by it had only got worse. The main focus of their differences being the daughter's constant marriage and divorce of wealthy businessmen and merchants. Her son Sten, on the other hand was a successful merchant, who she adored and was on good terms with. Looking back at the grave Naruto said his last goodbyes to the kind old lady who owned his apartment. _I guess I'll have to find a new place to live. _With one last bow in thanks Naruto started to head back and prepare for his most likely eviction.

A man in a black suit and briefcase came running up the hill. He bent over gasping for air. "Wait a gasp second gasp everyone." All in attendance turned to the almost hyperventilating man, even the young blonde. After a while of him trying to get air into his lungs the man stood back up and adjusted his red tie. The man was big very big. He stood at a towering six eight. He was a very muscular man evident by his large arms and neck. His body looked like it was built for lifting and seemed far too bulky to run any sort of distance easily. He had dark brown hair parted on the side that stood in contrast to his light blue-green eyes. "Good everyone is still here. I'm Bob Tibbles, you may call me Mr. Tibbles. I am the executer of Mrs. Burns estate. She has left something to everyone here." A lot of things flashed across the faces of those gathered, curiosity, loss, greed, confusion, intrigue, and amusement to name a few. "The reading of the will shall be in two hours at her apartment." Opening up his briefcase he pulled out a single white rose and laid it on the grave, and gave a slight bow. "See you later Mrs. Burns." With that he walked away.

* * *

Naruto drowned his sorrows in an hour and a half's worth of ramen, and with his metabolism and endless stomach that was a lot. Due to the introduction of Arius to the Naruto equation Ichiraku's ramen was the blondes favorite food but only ate it twice a week and only in moderation. "Hit me again old man."

"Naruto I'm cutting you off. It's not good to go on a Ramen binge, especially with someone like you with a bottomless pit for a stomach." Tenchi said from the backroom. _I swear it's like binge drinking for him._

Looking up from yet another empty bowl the Jinchuriki spots the clock hanging on the wall, its hands were indicating that it was nine thirty. "Fine it's for the best, I've got to be somewhere in thirty minutes anyways. Thanks for the food."

"It was her time, we all die at some point. She lived a full life and died happy, that's all anyone can ask for. Its okay to mourn her loss but don't live in it."

"Eight, eight people see me as Naruto a six year old boy, everyone else sees a monster. Now I've lost one, I just need some time to cope with it... see ya later." Giving a wave goodbye he headed off.

"He has suffered more than anybody else I've ever met, somebody up there must have forgotten about him." Ayame said looking up towards the darkened sky.

* * *

"Thank you all for coming. I shall now read the will of Mrs. Burns." Mr. Tibbles said to all those assembled. Almost everyone that was at the funeral was gathered in the little apartment that Mrs. Burns lived in for the last twenty or so years. There weren't that many seats within the apartment so some people were standing while others were forced to find a spot on the floor. Digging through his briefcase Tibbles pulled out rolled up scroll, broke the seal and unrolled it. "If nobody objects I shall now begin."

"Why is that demon here?" Sneered one of the older people in the room while looking at Naruto sitting on the floor in the corner.

"Because he's in the will" Replied Mr. Tibbles in a matter of fact fashion. "Now she left some last words for me to read." Clearing his throat. "Ahem 'Hello everybody if your hearing this then guess what I'm dead, Minoru you owe me fifty ryo." One of the older men in the room smiled. "'It was good knowing all of you yada yada, I'll miss you yada yada so on and so forth. Now I know why your all here, to take my vast collections of crap I've collected over the years. So I leave Mr. Tibbles and his fat ass" Under Mr. Tibbles breath the words 'crazy bitch' could be heard "the responsibility of handing out my crap. See ya in a couple months Minoru you old goat."

Minoru had a big grin on his face. "She always was a crazy bitch."

"Indeed." Commented Mr. Tibbles. Looking down at the scroll he started reading off the contents. "To Minoru I leave my photo albums one through six, and I return the leather whip with the fuzzy handcuffs that you lent me." Everyone in the room had a look of disgust plastered on their faces, well that is everyone but Minoru who was trying to hide the deep blush on his face.

"Ewwwww." The blonde on the floor said while rubbing his arms furiously as though he were trying to scrub off dirt. Everyone was doing the same thing internally.

"To Serra I leave all my china and silverware." Mr. Tibbles continued on. "To Ethan I leave my lazyboy. To Audrey I leave my jewelry. To Sten I leave my photo albums seven through ten and my fifty acre plot of land in The Land of Rivers."

"Now sir may I ask your name?" Tibbles said while gesturing the daughters husband.

"My name is Archibald Thadeus, what importance does that have?" The man said in a raspy voice.

"All the importance in the world." Looking back at the scroll. "If my daughters husband has changed since the time that this document was written she is to receive nothing, however if she could refrain from changing husbands again she shall have what is written below."

The daughter looked shocked. "What does she mean switched husbands again?" Archi said with a dangerous glint in his eyes, the kind of glint that could lead to a divorce. "You said you had never married before."

"This is not the time Archi dear." Diane said though gritted teeth.

"Seeing as how the name of your husband was named Edward Cullen at the time that this document was written you are no longer entitled to anything." Tibbles said in a matter of fact tone. "Now where was I… oh yes to Relina and Hero I leave my property in Iwa." The blondes mind was going a mile a minute. _That was kinda cold. So what if she was a gold digger she was family. But never mind that how loaded was she I mean land in the Land of Rivers and Iwa. _"To Mr. Tibbles I leave the Mitsuwa market down the road." _No wonder they let me in there to get food she owned the whole building. There is a lot more to her than I ever knew. _"Damnit now I have to look after a market." Said Tibbles grumpily. **(That section might have been confusing. Naruto was the one thinking while Tibbles was talking.)**

Tibbles continued on with the reading of the will. "So because of Dianes actions Sten also gets the bank account at Roshi international. And finally to Naruto I leave the Paradise Apartments, and as another gift I have had them completely paid off for the next ten years. All the other stuff in my apartment goes to whomever the hell wants it. So long suckers." Tibbles said rolling up the will and putting it in his briefcase. "This concludes the reading of the will, I will now pass out your belongings." From his briefcase he pulled out five scrolls. "Iwa." He handed it to Relina. "River, and bank account." He said handing them to Sten. "And Paradise Apartments." To Naruto, who quickly slipped it in his jacket. "I trust the rest of you can sort this out yourselves?"

"I got it." Sten said.

* * *

"Goodbye then." Tibbles said with a bow and left.

The young Jinchuriki quickly followed suit. "Mr. Tibbles!" He shouted down the hall.

Turning around. "Yes? How may I help you?"

"Since you own the market will you still let me shop there?"

"Yes it was one of the stipulations of me taking it over." Looking back at the door to Mrs. Burns apartment the two very unhappy looking people could be seen leaving. "Im going to call the ANBU and have them watch over the apartment in case Diane tries anything."

Later that night a women was caught attempting to light the Paradise Apartments on fire.

* * *

*Bang* the door was thoroughly smashed open with a kick. "Hey old man!"

Looking up from his paperwork the Hokage reached up to his ears and pulled out a set of ear plugs. "Hello Naruto. How are you doing today?"

"Good good." Naruto closed the door and then locked it. That was the sign that the following conversation needed to be private. The Hokage went through some handseals and the room glowed blue for a second. "The doors heavier, did you get a new one?"

"Why yes, yes I did! I'm glad you noticed. It's a solid steel door with strengthening silencing restriction seals on it. It was a birthday gift to myself."

"The restriction seals so that it can't be thrown open, and closes automatically?"

"That's what it was supposed to do but evidently they don't work quite as well as I hoped, I'll have to have stronger ones applied to it… what do you know about restriction seals?" The Third said while raising an eyebrow.

"Oh I've taken a mild interest in sealing in general. But I'm still miles off from making my own, maybe once I get leaf balancing down." He responded as he made his way over to one of the chairs opposite of the Hokage.

"Be careful seals are very dangerous the slightest error could result in something disastrous, and I hope your smart enough not to even think of touching your seal."

"God no! I looked at the thing out of curiosity and what is there is years and years over my head. All I know is about the general types of seals and what they do. I have started practicing my hand writing but I'm getting away from what I came here for. I have a favor to ask of you."

The fact that Naruto was showing interest in seals was both exciting and frightening. Exciting in that there were very few who entered the field of sealing even with how potentially useful they could be. The frightening part was that with Naruto's mind even the most simple of seals could be used for great havoc while pranking. The fact that Naruto was also interested in a field where his own father was considered a god was another plus. _Maybe Konoha has a future seal master in the making._ "What kind of favor?"

"Could you schedule a meeting with Inoichi for me?"

The third was looking worried. "May I ask why?"

"As you know I have had contact with the fox" Sarutobi remembered quite well, Naruto was reported to not have shown up for school the second day so the Hokage had sent one of his ANBU to locate him. He was found unconscious on his bed and was whisked away to the hospital. He had a case of extreme chakra overload, and without the aid of the fox's healing abilities he would have died. He was out for five days. Upon waking up Naruto had informed the Hokage of everything. "well frankly I found that my mind is a dump. So I would like to clean it up but I require a Yamanaka to do so. But more specifically I require an unbiased one to do it. I also have some other issues that I need help working out, nothing big just sorting out my memories."

"Not that organizing your mind isn't a good thing, but why?" The old man had already brought out his pipe and had started smoking.

"Multiple reasons. I do sympathize with the fox to an extent, I do not believe that anything should have to be in that kind of prison for simply being what it is, a primal force. I also will have to go inside in the future, and I really don't like my mind looking the way it does. And third reason is that I've got a photographic memory so I kinda _need_ to sort out my mind or I could have problems focusing later."

Taking a few puffs from his pipe. "You do realize that he will learn that you're nowhere near as stupid as you are making everyone believe?"

"Its fine."

Taking a few moments to consider while his fingers thrummed the desk. "I will do this but I will also ask him to do a full psych evaluation as well."

"Aw you don't think I'm sane?" Naruto said feigning hurt.

"Truthfully? No, not after everything you've been through. It pains me to say this but if you're going to crack I need to know beforehand." In that moment the Third looked older than Naruto had ever seen him.

"I understand, I too want to know if I'm sane. It would be a good thing to know so I can plan for the future. So sometime next week then?"

"I will contact Inoichi."

"Thank you. Now I best be off before they find me." He quickly bolted out of his chair and was through the door.

"There he is get him!" Yelled a man as a mob stormed by after an orange blur.

Laughing to himself Sarutobi got up and went to close the door that Naruto left open. With a decent shove he pushed the door and it slowly closed. "What the hell? The seals work? He's six he can't be that strong can he?"

* * *

-Sometime the following week-

"Well Inoichi what's his status" The look on the mind readers face was not good. He looked haggard.

"Do you have anything to drink?" The clan head of the Yamanaka's responded. Opening a drawer the Third pulled out a bottle of sake and two cups. He filled the cups and handed it to the Jonin, who immediately downed it. After seeing this, the Hokage quickly followed suit. "The experience was… eye opening to say the least."

Pouring two more cups of sake. "Just tell me what happened."

"Well he** (STOP IT'S FLASHBACK** **TIME!)**

The building was a single story modern styled structure it took up the entire side of the street. The building itself was a flower shop and was home to one of konoha's prominent clans, the mind readers, the intelligence gatherers, the psychiatrists, the Yamanaka. What a better place to observe the condition that is the human being than a shop that promotes strong emotions. Inside the store stood a small blonde haired boy waiting, waiting for what you say well if you read the last ten paragraphs or so you would know. **(Its getting early so my mind is losing coherence. What I do for the sake of art.)** He was waiting for the man at the cashier to finish the arrangement he was making. After a few minutes more of waiting the man finished the bouquet of flowers and wrapped them up and placed them on the counter. The little boy was nothing if not patient. Finally taking notice of the boy the man said. "What do you want?"

_Great yet another furry hater. _"I'm here to see Inoichi. I've got an appointment." Our young hero said as he flashed his google watt fake smile number 3.

The man just rolled his eyes in defeat. "Fine, fourth door on your left." He said indicating the hallway behind him.

"Thanks."

* * *

Inoichi was having a nice day. _This is a nice day. _He had woken up not too early as to have too much time on his hands and not too late so as he had to rush. It had been a pleasant morning, he had a good breakfast made by his smiling wife, got a good morning kiss from his darling daughter and had started to read the newspaper. _Ah I've got the life that most people could only dream about._

"Dear you've got an appointment in fifteen minutes." Inoichi's wife reminded him.

"Oh I do? Who is it again?" he said not looking up from his paper.

Without batting an eyelash. "Naruto Uzumaki."

Inoichi's head hit the table so fast that he dented his forehead protector. _Why did I agree to this again?_ Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door. _Great there he is. _Inoichi thought as he put down his newspaper. Getting up he answered the door. What was on the other side was not something he expected. In the doorway stood seven very irate female Yamanaka dressed in bathrobes. The biggest of which was holding a bludgeoned and unconscious Naruto.

"This… child walked into the female baths, while we were in it." She said while grinding her teeth on every word. The Yamanaka like many of the other clans live in a group compound, and as such they have group bathrooms. If you're coming in from the flower shop the female baths just happen to be located at the fourth door on the left. "He said he had an appointment with you." She simply dropped him and stormed away along with the rest of the women.

Letting out and impossibly long sigh Inoichi picked up the bruised and beaten Naruto and set off for his office. _Well the Hokage did warn me._

**-FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK!-**

"Oh yes Inoichi." The hokage said stopping the man from leaving.

"Yes Hokage-sama?"

"Expect nothing, prepare for everything." The old man said with an evil smile on his face.

**-END FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK!-**

It took smelling salts to wake the young blonde up. "May I ask why you went into the female baths?"

Looking around first. "Because only an idiot would do that. Do you know a privacy jutsu?"

Inoichi raised an eyebrow to that. "There is already one up."

"Well in that case hello my name is Naruto Uzumaki, it's a pleasure to meet you." He said as he did a very polite bow. "Now that I can stop acting the idiot can we begin?"

"So why did you go into the baths?"

"Because an idiot would blindly take the cashiers words at face value, and go stumbling into an unknown situation."

_I'm going to have to have a few words with the cashier._ "So what the happy go lucky orange pranking menace is a façade you created?" He received a nod in confirmation. "Why?"

"May I take a seat?" Inoichi gestured to the unoccupied seat in the room. Naruto gracefully sat down with perfect posture. "It's so no one sees me as a threat, and take monetary, physical or political action against me, well more so than people do now."

_So he can think ahead. Well I guess if everyone had it out for me then I would make myself as small a threat as possible. _Inoichi thought.

"Well the pranking serves another purpose." Inoichi was skeptical. "So how is your security since I've started pranking?"

"We've had to increase it but as you know it's still… not quite… damn." Inoichi finally saw what Naruto was doing. Reaching into his orange jacket Naruto pulled out a red folder and handed it to Inoichi. Opening it up he saw schematics of the Yamanaka clan building, exit and entry points, personnel location, document locations, safe combos, armory status, and good strike points. There were also recommendations on how to remedy most of the problems. "With this somebody could"

Naruto cut him off. "Kill off your entire clan in one night. Figuratively speaking I have killed off sixty percent of Konoha's military power, by myself. Only myself, ANBU Commander Taurus and the Hokage are privy to this information. I have files on all of Konoha's clans, businesses and a fair amount on the civilians, the Hokage was going to give this information to the clans after my graduation to put me in a better light. I'm giving you this ahead of schedule as a gesture of good will." The mind reader was speechless. All this information had caused the gears in his brain to seize up. "I trust that the doctor patient confidentiality agreement will keep you from releasing any of this to the public.

The gears instantly shook free allowing him to think once again, he had entered business mode. "Of course."

"I have somewhere to be later, so can we start what I'm really here for?" Said Naruto with an amused tone.

"I think that's for the best." Inoichi pulled out a notebook and pen. "So first some basic info about you. Physical measurements?" Naruto just handed him a prepared piece of paper with all his basic measurements on it. "Tell me a little about yourself."

Thinking for a few seconds. "I like Fuinjutsu, reading, roast beef sandwiches, training, pranking, Arius, and the old man. I dislike the color orange, the general civilian population, all ramen except for those made at Ichiraku's, the Hyuuga and the former Uchiha." Seeing the question on the mind readers face. "They're too rigid, they act like assholes just because they can."

_Well that's true they are assholes but that's just a defense mechanism to cover their insecurities. _"Do you have any friends that you hang out with?"

"Nope. Anyone old enough to remember the attack won't even speak to me and anyone younger has had their parents hate passed on to them. Really all I've got is the old man, old man's secretary, the weapon shop owners, the Ichirakus, and Arius," Naruto said in a slightly dead voice. The whole time Naruto was talking Inoichi was scribbling away in his notepad.

"What is your happiest memory?"

"Running into Arius outside the library which led to me getting a life worth living."

Setting his pen and notebook down Inoichi interlaced his finger and rested his chin on them. "Okay now, with your permission I would like to enter your mind."

"Will I be there with you or will I be out of it?"

"I can do it either way."

"I would like to be there with you, there are some questions I need answered and there is some sensitive info in there as well."

"Okay just lay your head back and relax." Naruto laid back and waited for the start of his journey to the inner recesses of his mind. Inoichi went through five handseals and said. "Mind Dive Jutsu**.**"

* * *

Naruto woke up back in the stone hallway. Sitting up he saw that he was once again in the outfit from before. Inoichi was examining one of the walls. "Well what's the prognosis am I gonna snap?" He said to the older blonde.

"No, despite the heavy damage to the walls ceiling and floor coupled with and lack of lighting your mental foundation is quite solid. So you're not crazy, well not on this level anyways."

"Well I feel so much better." Naruto replied sarcastically. "So what's the deal with the whole clothes situation? I've had one opinion on the subject but I would like an expert's."

"Clothes help people define themselves. Rich people wear expensive clothes to tell the world that they're doing well. The poor wear anything they can find not caring for appearance but functionality. I look the same because this is how I see myself. Your attire says something about you but only you're the only one who can figure out what it means, by the way you look much better."

"Orange… is a choice. So how do I figure out what my clothes mean?"

"No idea you have to figure it out on your own. It's probably something along the lines of knowing yourself or something."

"Something? Your exactly like the fox, you know what I don't care ill figure it out later!" He said as he threw his hands up in surrender. "Well let's go see the fox."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Inoichi really didn't want to see the fox, seeing it once was more than enough for a lifetime.

"Its fine she's pretty mellow." Said as he headed off down the hallway.

"She?"

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks. "Didn't the old man tell you anything?"

"He said you contacted the Kyuubi, and that you had some questions about your mind." Inoichi was beginning to wonder if he had somehow angered the Hokage at some point and this was his revenge.

"She's stuck behind a giant cage. If you don't go in the cage she can't eat you." Taking a big breathe he yelled. "YU!" A few seconds later there was a slight rumbling and in the distance a light could be seen as though a new passage opened up. Naruto absently started walking towards the light. "Isn't it a bad idea to follow the light at the end of a dark tunnel?" The short blonde said to no one in particular. "Is there an easier way to navigate my mind besides shouting at a giant chakra entity?"

"Yes, it's quite simple just exercise your will over your surroundings. You can change the layout of your mind rather easily."

"….You mean all I have to do is think about it!" Naruto screamed.

Roving his hands from his ears the taller blonde said. "Well you need to know that you can rearrange your mind before you can actually do it, but yes just think about making a corridor and one will form."

Naruto stood there glaring at him for a second before one of the walls slid silently into the floor and revealed the room with the Kyuubi in it. "You're lucky that was insanely awesome otherwise I would be very pissed at the moment." Rubbing his hands like an evil genius Naruto walked into the room with Inoichi traveling nervously behind. "Yo Yu, I brought a visitor to help spruce the place up."

"**I'm just so excited can you tell?" **Yu said in a dead tone. **"So you're the Yamanaka?... well get to it I don't know about you but I greatly dislike this sunless prison."**

Looking warily at the giant white fox Inoichi responded. "I can't alter the appearance of his mind in any way. And frankly after what you did why would anyone want to help you?"

"**Great another bigot, you know I have feelings too!" **Yu said while crying into one of her tails. After a few seconds the sobbing started to die down and the tail shifted slightly to reveal a large gold eye before the tail moved back and the sobbing continued at full blast.

"Great the giant demon that's stuck in my stomach is a diva." Naruto said in defeat as he rubbed his temples.

"**Whacha talkin bout Willis?" **The Kyuubi emphasized the words with quick movements of her head and tails. **"In all seriousness **_**I'm**_** not actually a demon, demons do exist or at least they did before their mass exodus a few centuries back. I'm just your common everyday mass of chakra… with a consciousness."**

"What's that saying 'don't shit where you eat'. Well this place looks like shit, I wouldn't eat in here, and I certainly won't let my mind to look like this. And if I've got to live with her for the next thousand plus years I want her in as happy a mood as possible." The whole time Naruto was talking he was also making different corridors rooms and staircases.

"For what it has done I will never be able to see it as anything more than a demon. And I will not allow it to receive a lightening of its sentence. "

_So much for neutral. _"So what am I a demon too?"

"Definitely not, I knew from day one that you weren't it, and I can see it right here you are separate entities." _If anyone wanted proof that Naruto wasn't the demon well here it is. I do feel bad about shunning him but I never went out of my way to hurt him. _Inoichi internally said.

"If you won't do it for her do it for me. As penance for every time you stood back and watched as Konoha's hero was starved, beaten, ostracized and thought it wasn't your problem. I lost the chance for a real life, I lost my father, I almost lost my sanity, I attempted suicide on six different occasions! All I ask is one act of kindness."

That hit the Yamanaka right where it hurt. He looked down in shame. "Meditation, through a certain type of meditation you can find balance and alter the image of your mind. It's called **Outer Breath Inner Peace: Five Paths of Renewal** the book on it is in my office I'll let you borrow it once we're done."

"Thank you Yamanaka-san." Naruto said with a polite bow.

"No I'm sorry for not being a proper human being."

"All is fine now, look happier." Naruto said with his newly minted true smile number four.

_There's just something about him that pulls a heartstring._ Inoichi put on a half forced smile."What did you mean by a thousand plus years?"

"Oh well Yu here says because the Shinigami's involvement in the sealing me and her resulted in pretty much fusing which in turn significantly increasing my life span." Said with a smile. "Maybe after a hundred years people won't hate me as much." Said with a shrug.

"**There's also a chance that your offspring receiving a kekkai genkai, but that's not a definite thing." **Yu said absently, while bitting her nail.

"Well that's…" Spinning around and pointing at Inoichi. "You are to tell no one! I will not be a sperm bank for that stupid council! You can't even tell the old man, I can't even risk the chance that anyone find out. I just know his office is bugged."

"That has no detrimental effects on your mentality so I'm not obligated to tell anyone."

"." Naruto said in rapid succession.

"Let's just finish this up I need a drink." Inoichi said as he started walking down a random hallway with Naruto trailing after him.

"**Write me sometime!" **Shouted Yu after them.

* * *

After a little while of walking the Yamanaka stopped and looked at one of the walls before going through some handseals. "Minds Pathways: Vault of Memories**!"** A small tremor went through Naruto's mindscape and a black liquid started leaking from the wall. The liquid stated pooling on the ground, it stayed close to the wall but spread out ten feet either way. The liquid started to lighten until it was reminiscent of mercury. The puddle then started to produce a few bubbles which quickly multiplied till the mercurial puddle started to rise and take shape. It formed bolts, crossbeams, levers, wheels, gear, chains, and in the very center a keyhole. Before the duo stood a magnificent ten foot high circular vault door.

"Cool." Naruto commented. While Inoichi was unlocking the vault. "From the name of the jutsu this must be where my memories are stored?"

Finally releasing all the secondary locks Inoichi pointed to the keyhole in the center. "Yes, now if you would please put your finger in the keyhole." As soon as Naruto put his finger in the hole there was an audible click and the door swung open. "Let us see what you've got." Peering inside all Inoichi could do was gape. _There is no fucking way a six year old could have this many memories._ Inside the vault was paper. Lots and lots and lots of paper. The paper was stacked fifty feet high while there were stacks going one hundred feet into the room.

Quickly flipping though a small stack. "My minds a dry sewer, _and _its completely unorganized. How fuck can I possibly function with this mess? I mean really there's chakra manipulation mixed in with history and math! If the librarian saw this she would have a heart attack. Hey there's a picture of you here."

"How can you remember so many things, you're a mature six but six none the less?" Inoichi asked as he looked around at the various stacks of information.

"I've got a photographic memory." Saying that you have a photographic memory to a Yamanaka was like telling a certain Toad sage that he was receiving a two hundred strong harem and that they were waiting for him but had somehow lost all their clothes and needed him to help them all stay warm at one time. Basically Inoichi was contemplating the ramifications that would occur should he kidnap Naruto throw him in a cell and use him for his personal test subject. The thought of prison and possibly execution had just enough weight behind them to prevent Inoichi from his Naruto shaped experiment. "Hey there's another room behind some of these piles. It's full of portraits."

Shaken from his momentary stupor the Jonin resumed his business face. "Yes that's where the important people in your life are stored." Making his way through the forest of paper Inoichi found himself staring at seven portraits. The picture on the far left was of very thin very tall man dressed in a simple white robe. He had messy light brown hair and bespectacled green eyes. His face was contorted into a yawn. There was a small plaque underneath the portrait that read 'Arius Miroku Noctis' with the words friend and sensei beneath that. The next was of an old balding man, with a smile on his face and a pipe in his mouth. He wore red and white robes. His plaque said 'Sarutobi Hiruzen' with the words Hokage and Grandfather beneath them. The next one was wider, being that it held two people. On the left was an older man in a chefs uniform with narrow eyes. In his arms he held a young woman in a waitresses outfit with brown eyes and hair. Both of them were smiling. Their plaque said 'Tenchi and Aayame Ichiraku' beneath that were family and food. The next was another double portrait. On the left was a very broad man wearing a thick leather blacksmiths apron, while his head was completely bald. His face was for the most part stern with the sole exception of the corner of his mouth that was slightly turned up. The cause for his less than rigid countenance was the women by his side. A petite woman who came to the smith's shoulders. She wore a red Chinese shirt with green pants. Her brown hair put up in a bun and her light brown eyes gave off the feeling of peace. Their plaque said 'Han and Chou Higurashi' the words boss and kindness were underneath. The final picture was of a young red head green eyed women. She had a pleading look on her face. Her plaque said 'Saru Kagayoshi' with the word Sis underneath.

"You still looking at those pictures?" Naruto said from somewhere in the forest of paper. "There's more important things you could be doing right now like helping me organize this mess! Damn it this is going to take weeks to finish."

"The **Outer Breath Inner Peace: Five Paths of Renewal **will have instructions on how to organize this. I suggest that you just wait till then to organize this. Besides I have one thing left to check then we're done."

"What would that be?"

"Your core. Come out of there I can't access it from here." Inoichi carefully made his way through the stacks to the vault door. There was some shouting from somewhere in the back before one of the stacks suddenly shifted as though they were hit, it started to lean till it gave way and collapsed into another pile causing a series of chain reactions. "Are you okay back there!" A hand shot out from the pile and started to shift paper around till a blonde head emerged.

"Guh I hate my mind!" Finally freeing himself from the avalanche of paper Naruto angrily trounced out of the vault and firmly closed the door. An audible click was heard before all the locks and bolts rest themselves. "So what now?"

"Create a stair well going down." Naruto looked at the opposing wall for a second before it dropped down revealing stairs. "You should stay on this level, it's not a good idea to look at your own core."

"Whatever I'll be talking with the giant woodland creature." The Jinchuriki walked off presumably to talk to Yu while Inoichi descended the stairs.

* * *

"So how was it! You weren't gone long." Naruto yelled to Inoichi as he emerged from the tunnel.

The man looked "About what I expected. I need to go I'm almost out of chakra."

"Ok. See ya Yu." The blonde said to the chakra manifestation.

"**Come back some time, midget." **

"I told you I'm not short!"

Inoichi turned a glareful eye to the Kyuubi before he disappeared.

**FLASHBACK IS OVER, PLEASE DEAL WITH IT.**

* * *

"We emerged from his mind I scheduled another appointment with him , and gave him the** Outer Breath Inner Peace: Five Paths of Renewal**, and sent him on his way." The Yamanaka clan head said to the Hokage.

"What is the state of his core?" Said the aging Kage as he took another puff of his pipe.

"There's layers to his core, which while not unheard of isn't exactly common. There were four distinct layers. That mask of stupidity he wears isn't a mask at all, it's a piece of his personality. I believe it to be what he wants to be, carefree, a childlike existence. His second layer is what he is when not wearing the mask. His intelligent collected self. It's what he has been forced to become. His ability to switch between his first and second layer almost instantaneously is quite astounding, it's not easy to turn on and off a piece of yourself. His third layer is loneliness, what he's been forced to endure. Your interaction and importance in his life makes up about sixty percent of his ability to hold back his fourth layer."

"That doesn't sound good." The Third took another swallow of sake.

"His fourth is unbridled chaotic psychotic rage. Every action that's ever been forced upon him every negative thought in his head has its root there, but luckily the other layers are suppressing it. It would take a lot to cause him to release his fourth, but with his ability to switch between the first two layers he could potentially access it whenever he wants, that reason coupled with a few others is why I have scheduled some more appointments with him."

"Is he a threat?" The sadness in the Third's eyes held no equal, if Naruto was a threat to the general populace he would have to take action. But to a boy he considered a grandson it would be anything but easy.

"Is he going to try killing everybody no, unless something major happens, but it would take a great betrayal, it would have be on the level of you trying to kill him. So no he is not a threat but still merits observation."

Sarutobi's eyes softened at the confirmation that he wouldn't have to remove Konoha's 'demon'. "Thank you, now is there anything else I should know?" The blonde hesitated longer than it should have. "Inoichi." The old man said in a very serious tone.

"Welllll…as he's had to mature faster than even a shinobi certain parts of him have arisen early."

"Inoichi get to the point."

"He's got a crush on Tsume Inuzuka." He said uneasily.

…The Thirds laughing could be heard throughout all of Konoha. Wiping away a tear. "Seriously? That's actually kind of cute. Is that all?"

_No. He knows he's the son of The Fourth Hokage, but doesn't want you to know he knows._ "Nothing sir."

"Alright then have a nice day. I'll have the payment to you by Tuesday."

"No need, consider this one a freebie." Said as he left.

* * *

JUTSU/Techniques

**Mind Dive Jutsu –** Unlike the mind swap which allows one to take over a persons body, the mind dive allows the user to explore the targets mind. While in a mind dive the use of other jutsu allows the user to interact with the subjects mind, to and extent.

**Outer Breath Inner Peace: Five Paths of Renewal- **A meditation practice that allows a person to alter the image of ones mind.

**Minds Pathways: Vault of Memories **– Creates a vault in a person's mind that contains all their memories. Can only be used when **Mind Dive Jutsu **is active.

OKAY that was a long ass chapter. Yay me.

I most likely won't have a reappearance of any of my OCs with the exception of Mr. Tibbles. I mean come on that's a freakin awesome name, it would be a crime if I didn't use it again.

I know my set up for the story is taking a long time but I dislike stories that just throw you in. Also Naruto will have to work for everything no super cosmic power just because… unless the story goes to shit and I stop caring.

I will be putting up a poll for a new name for the chakra conducting metal. I really hate the name fornix (it's a part of the brain) and since nobody wants to give me a name for it I'll make a poll! !


	8. Chapter 8 Damn Leaf

Chapter seven got 2.64 k hits in one day, it made me very happy. . And while hits make me happy reviews make me happier. Don't hesitate to tell me what I'm doing wrong, well besides punctuation, punctuation downright hates me, semicolons especially. Each review you send tells me how I can improve my writing, which in turn will make the story better.

At the end of this chapter I will explain a few things that I thought I needed to explain in more detail.

* * *

Chapter 8 Damn Leaf

"Put your pencils down, the test is over." Zedsui said to the class.

"Awe man I could only answer half of them!" Yelled the blonde from the back as be banged his head on the table.

"Alright with that the school year is over. It was a pleasure getting to know each and every one of you. The results of your final will be set to your houses along with your placement for next year." Zedsui said with a smile and a wave, his thoughts however were more along the lines of. _THANK YOU LORD KAMI! It's finally over no more demon no more orange! My stint in this hellhole is over. I can stop being a glorified babysitter. I can go off to kill bandits, rescue maidens in distress, and have to do one tenth the PAPERWORK!_

"Sensei." A young voice said snapping Zedsui out of his delirium. Looking around the room was completely devoid of any students. "Sensei." Said the voice. Looking down Zedsui spied a blonde mop of hair and crystal blue eyes.

"Can I help you?" The man said flatly.

"I got you a gift." Reaching into his horrendously orange jumpsuit he pulled out a small badly wrapped package.

"Is it going to explode in my face?"

"No, I just wanted to give a gift to the bestest teacher ever!" The young boy shouted back.

Letting out a deep sigh the man took the package and started slowly opening it. With the wrapping removed the plain box was left. Holding it out at arm's length he ever so slowly opened the lid. When the lid opened and when there were no explosions no glitter no itching powder the teacher peered into the box, what was in there left a confused look on his face. Reaching in he pulled out the item and stared at it. It was a chibi Naruto.

"I found this one guy selling only those things, the store was almost completely picked over. I didn't know I was so popular! He called them stress relievers whatever that is. But if you squeeze it the eyes bulge out. This way you'll always have something to remember me by." Naruto said happily.

A dangerous light entered the teacher's eyes as he stared at the miniature demon of Konoha. Giving it a firm squeeze a very large very ominous smile crept onto his face as the eyes on the little look alike bulged out. "Thank you Naruto this means a lot to me. Now run along I'm going to go play with my new toy." Zedsui said very happily.

"Okay see ya sensei!" Naruto yelled as he bounded out of the room.

It was later said that the store that sold the Naruto stress relievers had its complete stock bought by one brown haired teacher.

* * *

At the end of the academy year the students are released for one month to enjoy a summer with their family and friends. But for our hero who had no one it was a perfect time to train.

Naruto had been steadily increasing his workout since his chakra network had been tapped. He still went up to the top of the Hokage Monument but instead of a jogging he had been increasing his speed every other day. His workout still involved the usual sit-ups, squats, pushups, and pull-ups. But since introduction to the academy he had taken to practicing the basics of Taijutsu, his target was a tree with a rope wrapped around it. He started off with fifty punches and kicks and gradually built it up from there. At noon he would eat his prepared meal and look over the village from the tops of the Hokages head. After his meal instead of running down to the library for the rest of the day he would work on chakra control.

"God damn it you stupid leaf I'm going to kill you and all of your kind!" The orange clad blonde yelled at a small pile of harmless leaves lying on the ground. "Stupid chakra stupid leaf stupid world out to get me." Letting out a sigh he sat back down and placed a leaf on his forehead. "Okay use a little chakra to attach the leaf to forehead." He mumbled to himself. "Good, now place leaves on palms and keep them on with a little chakra, good…wait no no no! Damn it!"

After hours of repetition he decided that yelling at leaves for hours on end wasn't healthy so he got up and headed down to the village. "Okay so I've got atrocious chakra control, once again the fuzzy one has made my life harder. I can keep one leaf on my forehead and one other on my palm but I can't put any more leaves on." He said to no one as he continued to walk towards town. "Well it just takes more practice I guess." _But the physical training isn't as effective as it once was. Maybe I could use some weights. Higurashis should have something. _Looking around he spotted the store full of chibi Naruto's, with a very significant line of people going out the door. _Alright assholes you made it to the top of my "productive" list. _Naruto having a photographic memory never forgot a face.

* * *

Walking into Higurashi's Bladeworks Naruto noticed that it was unusually empty for a weekday, there wasn't a single customer. The only apparent occupant was Mrs. Higurashi who was reorganizing some of the shelves and weapon racks. The blonde sent a friendly greeting. "Hello."

"Oh hello Naruto how can I help you today?" Chou replied.

"Good good, I was wondering if I could get some training weights."

"What would you need weights for?"

"My training has started to reach a plateau, I could increase the time that I exercise but why increase the time when a little weight would be just as effective? Also since im without an instructor I'm not sure what I need to work on, so would you happen to have any training or taijutsu scrolls for sale?"

"Are you sure you want to increase your workload? You're still so young, you should have a childhood." She instantly realized what she said and the impossibility of it.

"I have and will forever be denied a childhood, I have accepted that and I am already moving forward."

"You should at least have some friends' I'm sure Tenten woul"

She was cut off by Naruto. "I'm sure she is very nice but I won't let someone be ostracized because I want a friend."

Sighing in defeat she accepted what he said. "By law we're required to have scrolls on that absolutely horrendous taijutsu style the academy uses but no one **ever** buys them." She said as she went into the backroom. There were sounds of boxes and other things being shifted around. "As a style it is quite frankly pardon my language but its crap. But as a base other styles it works well enough. There used to be a beginners training guide somewhere in here. Um no, no, possibly, no no no, no, no, no, gah where is, oh there they are." Coming out from the backroom she was covered in dirt and dust.

Raising an eyebrow at her current state. "You alright?"

"Oh I'm fine dear, I just need Han to clean back there like he's supposed to." She said with a clearly fake smile. She handed the scrolls to Naruto and started to dust herself off. "What type of weight system would you like?"

"There's more than one?"

Going behind the counter she grabbed a rag and proceded to scrub away a particularly dirty portion of her shirt. "We've got weighted clothes, wrist and ankle weights for running, weight seals, resistance suits, and body togs."

"I will eventually be able to make my own weight seals, so wrist and ankle weights would be good for now."

"They're over by the handcuffs. Darn soot, ill be right back." She left through the curtain to the backroom.

Looking over the wares set before him Naruto discovered there were three different styles of running weights. There first were hollow fabric rings that held small lead shot, they were to worn around the wrist or ankle. The second were thick steel wire bracelets inside in a cotton sleeve. The final were thick bands that went to mid forearm, and had slots to load different metal plates into. _Hm… the wire ones are too big to stay on my arms and the ones with lead shot are too bulky to hide under my jacket. The plate ones could be used for defense as a crude bracer of sorts. _He decided to go with the plate style in a dull black. He walked up to the register and put the scrolls and weights on the counter. He fished in his pocket for his wallet gama-chan. Chou walked back in wearing a new shirt and a fresh smile. "How much for everything?"

"Free sample."

"Isn't that bad for business?"

"Think of it as an appetizer for a future customer to get to know our wares."

"So give me a small freebie and when I make this my go to shop for ninja supplies later on I'll end up blowing boat loads here."

"N-no its because I'm feeling generous today, hehe." She said forcefully.

"If you say so. Thank you and please tell Han that I'll have more metal in two days." He bowed and was off through the front door.

"The world is far too hard on you." Chou said with a tear in her eye as the door shut.

* * *

"Oh another elongated kunai!" Naruto said happily as he picked up another kunai from the tall grass. Shifting his bulging burlap sack from one shoulder to the next. "The bags almost full. Shinobi are so wasteful, isn't it great?" He said to no one in particular.

Naruto's small metal collection business had been going rather well for the day. Where usually a training ground would only have twenty to thirty different discarded weapons, usually only kunai and shuriken, the ones that were located next to training ground 44 seemed to have a significantly higher amount of discarded tools. Not just more but a much more diverse selection of them. There were items that were definitely foreign a rarety to the land of fire, the young scavenger had stumbled upon a few broken katana's and the remains of a naginata.

"Oi runt it's against the law for little runts to be out here on the training grounds." Said a distinctly feminine voice.

Naruto quickly looked around, but could not find the origin of the voice. "Who's there?" He yelled out.

"Who indeed?" Said the voice from right behind his left ear.

_Whoever this is is way beyond my level. _He thought quickly. "Awe fuck me." Naruto said quietly.

"You're a little too young for me." The voice said as slender yet unyielding arms wrap around his shoulders and waist, along with something soft pushing against his back "But you are kind of cute, you could be quite a looker in the future. Hold on let's get a taste."

Shifting his head a little he could see that the arms that were securely holding him were covered in a loose fitting tan material. Instantly there was a slight stinging sensation on Naruto's face as a shallow cut opened up. _Holy shit she never moved her arms! I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die!_ Then there was the feeling of a wet tongue drag itself over the cut.

"Hey gaki that's some good stuff you got there." The voice said as the smacking of lips could be heard.

"Oh god."

"Sorry no god here. Just me."

"Um and what would the name of my awesome and mysterious captor be?" The blonde said as sweat poured down his head.

"Why aren't you a charmer…well since you asked so nicely I'll tell you. I AM!" The arms disappeared and there was a large puff of white smoke in front of the paralyzed Naruto. The smoke started dispersing and the voice rang out. "The Sexy Single Torture and Interrogation Specialist Anko Mitarashi!" The smoke cleared away to reveal a banner with the words 'The Sexy Single Torture and Interrogation Specialist Anko Mitarashi!' on written on it. While the women was revealed to be wearing an open tan trench coat and orange miniskirt with a see-through mesh body suit. Her purple hair was done up in a spiky fashion, while her face wore a giant grin.

Naruto face faulted. "... … …"

"Stunned by the presence of pure awesomeness aren't you?"

Regaining his composer. "Yes yes, that's it. So from your display of skill I would say that I can't outrun you, I more than likely would have no chance in a fight so I'm at your mercy aren't I?"

"Yep."

"So can I say something before you do whatever you plan on doing with me?"

Getting into a thinking posture she looked like she was mentally debating something. "I guess."

"I'd get rid of the torture and interrogation specialist part on your banner. Shorten it to the sexy and single Anko Mitarashi, it more to the point and leaves a more mysterious impression about your abilities."

Her face had the look of surprise till she disappeared in a flash of speed. She reappeared instantly right in front of the orange wearing blonde. She looked him deep in the eyes and screamed. "Brilliant!" then promptly swept him up in a hug. He being only seven was fairly short, so he was just tall enough to have his face buried in her not so concealed chest. "You're the first person to give me advice about my banner! I knew it needed something, good job gaki."

"Y-you're w-welc-come." The stammered why trying to fight off the blush plastered to his face. "It's a pleasure to meet someone else who wears a mask. I like the scary approach you're using. It probably gets you more room than my demon prankster does."

She looked at him with dead eyes and withdrew a kunai from seemingly nowhere, and slowly advanced on him. "What do you mean _gaki_?"

Raising his hands in surrender he started to back up. He quickly tried to recover the situation. "Well I can see the mask that you use, you use fear and an overbearing personality to drive others off. Mine is a mask of idiocy, do you really think anyone could be as stupid as the halfwit and still be able to infiltrate all the _ninja_ clan compounds and play jokes on them?" He saw that her eyes were looking at him, actually looking at _him._ She saw straight through to beyond the face that was known to most.

The tension started to drain from her body, only to be redoubled in an instant. "This conversation reaches the ears of anybody alive and you won't live to see puberty, got it?" Naruto emphatically nodded. She let out a sigh sheathed her kunai and plopped down on the ground. "So you're really not as stupid as you act?" She motioned for him to sit down.

He sat down a few feet away, far enough to be out of reach why not being so far away as too be rude. "No one with an IQ greater than ten would be caught dead in this 'kill me dead' orange sweatsuit. I tried to give my character the smarts of a rat, though im not sure if I have achieved it or not."

"A rat? You're giving yourself too much credit, you have gone above and beyond, an insect is definitely smarter they know how to stay out of sight." She pulled out a stick of fresh dango seemingly out of nowhere and started devouring. "Well I guess it makes sense I mean no dumbass could come up with such an awesome line what was it again… oh yeah 'I'm going to be the most ninjaing ninja that has ever ninjaed the ninjaing world, NINJA!'." Anko perfectly mimicked his voice till she broke out in uncontrolled laughter.

The orange one sat there with his arms crossed, looking rather unhappy. "How do you know about that?"

Wiping a tear from her eye. "We spied on you, a bunch of us in the Interrogation unit had a bet on what you would do. Ol Ibiki won but everyone else was too busy laughing to care. Good times good times."

"I'm so glad I could be of assistance with your perverse entertainment."

"I'm happy to see you agree. But that's enough reminiscing for the day I unfortunately have got paperwork to do." She jumped up and dusted herself off, and was about ready to leave when Naruto spoke up.

"Um… you seem strong so do you have any advice?"

One of the snake mistresses eyebrows arched. "Say no to drugs?"

His palm instantly met his face with a resounding whap. "I met any advice for a ninja in training?"

"Sharp end goes towards the enemy?"

Through clenched teeth. "Could you help me with my chakra control?"

"OOOOOOOh that's what you wanted why didn't you say so runt?"

"Calm down, she can completely wipe the floor with you." He mumbled to himself while he tried to calm himself down.

"You are what first year academy? What's the problem? Leaf balancing and sticking is easy."

"I can get one leaf to stay on my forehead and one to stick on a palm but I can't get past that."

"Well that's fine for a first year I guess, you don't really get into chakra manipulation till your third year. You should be right where everyone else is."

"Ive spent hours practicing but it doesn't seem to help much. I have no one to help me, so no one expects me to succeed. I need to be better than average, I have do what no one expects, I need to excel. Well everyone will be oblivious to the actual skills that I have with me playing the fool, but when I do stop hiding I want to be able to blow them away. Please help me, you're most likely the only one who isn't politically of economically forced to leave me be." Naruto's stared straight into Anko's eyes.

_Those eyes aren't normal they're too empty for a kid._ Anko thought. "Fine if you're going to twist my arm. So what are you having problems with?"

"I have too much chakra and no book I've come across has any information on how to deal with it."

"It can't be that you have that much chakra, I'm not a sensor or anything but I can't feel anything coming from you, ninja can usually feel people with larger than norm chakra reserves when in close proximity. It's like you're a civilian."

"Hold on a second." Naruto started focusing chakra into the very center of the 'Dark Sun' seal on his arm and he felt it deactivate.

A strong pulse of chakra washed over Anko leaving her in total shock at the amount produced by such a young kid. The pulse immediately faded away. _There is no way in fucking hell that he can do that! I don't even have that much chakra! Hell he might be close to the Hokage!_

"That's just a small burst, it happens when I stop suppressing my chakra. So what do you suggest?"

She was snapped out of her shock. "Uh wow that was a lot of chakra. So you can't focus the amount small enough to do more than two leaves?" Naruto nodded. "Well then I guess you could try using something heavier. Try a piece of paper, or even a sock or something. If you can't use a paint brush to paint then go for a mop. And then slowly use smaller things till you can use leaves.

"That actually makes sense. Why didn't I think of it?" He said while scratching his head.

"Because I'm smarter than all gakis?" Anko said while tilting her head. "But if your reserves are really that big then you are going to have a life long battle with control. You should start working on higher forms of control as soon as possible, I guess. Most people start small because that's all they have the energy for, they work up to the big stuff I've never heard of anybody that's had to work down."

"I'm not allowed into the shinobi section of the library, and none of the civilian books talk about other exercises."

Anko started listing off the exercises. "Leaf sticking, leaf balancing, palm climbing, tree walking, water walking, water skating, ground skating, kunai balancing, point balancing, waterfall walking. There's probably another level but those are the basics."

"Most likely, it's probably something stuff like cloud hopping or something. In the future would you be willing to help me with some things?"

"I don't know. I very busy with being awesome and all. What do I get out of it?"

"The eternal thanks of Konoha's pranking king and a lifetime pass from all pranks." He said with an innocent smile.

"That would work for anybody else but you don't got the balls to prank me."

"True, then how about some of the stuff I find lying around. I actually got something today that I could give to you." He reached into his jacket and produced a simple scroll. It was standard parchment wrapped around a wood dowel. Unrolling it Anko saw that it was covered in storage seals, the blonde placed a finger on the third seal and channeled some chakra into it. There was a small poof of white smoke and when it cleared there lay a small device. It looked like a watch in that it had a clock face and it had a band, but that's where the similarities stopped. The base where the mechanism for the clock was supposed to be was extended a good six inches out to the right side.

"What is it?" Anko asked as she picked it up and examined it.

"A senbon launcher… I think. It holds two or three senbon from the holes on the side, and it looks like it's operated by chakra. There's also a little slot to hold a small razor blade. You might need to get it serviced though. It looks like its been sitting out for a while." He said while he pointed out the features to her.

"Where did you get something like this?"

"Over there." Naruto said while he pointed to the fenced off forest of training ground 44.

Anko got a concerned look on her face. "You went in there?"

"Well through a hole in the fence and five feet or so into the actual forest, yes. The corpse of the guy I got this off of almost made it out of the forest. But he didn't make it, well a kunai to the brain will do that."

"A word of advice don't go into the forest until you're at least a Chunin, if you can help it. I mean it."

"No promises, but I thank you for your help." Standing up he dusted himself off put away his scroll and picked up his sack of weapons. "I've got to go finalize my plans to douse the entire Nara clan in itching powder. I'll see you around 'The Sexy and Single Anko Mitarashi'." He gave a shallow bow and was about to run off to the village when she interrupted him.

"Hey… do you want to know why people treat you the way they do?" She looked down, trying to avoid his gaze.

"I would have thought that talking with me would have proved I'm not as stupid as I act, the fuzzy one was the first secret about my existence that I discovered. Don't tell anyone anything!" With a smile still on his face he ran off.

* * *

After his experience with one Anko Mitarashi Naruto went back to his apartment to finalize his plans for the Nara job later in the weak. It came together quite quickly, entry exit and strike points were all mapped out in advance. All that was left was for his employer to supply the itching powder.

With nothing left to do he put all his plans away and grabbed three pieces of paper. He folder them in half twice, so they were only a quarter their original size, with their weight more focused. "Okay so concentrate. Move the chakra through your coils and to the points you will make contact with." He placed one of the papers on his head and directed chakra to try and hold it on. It took much more chakra than the leaf but it required less focus to control. He placed one of the two remaining papers on his right hand and adjusted the flow keep it attached. Having got that he moved onto the third paper and placed it on his palm and directed chakra to it. All while mumbling his every move. "Alright here's the test, just turn my palm over and keep gravity at bay." Slowly twisting his wrist he waited for gravity to once again defeat him, the paper wobbled but did not fall. "Yes! Hahahahahaha. That's right who's awesome I am that's right. Leaf your day is numbered."

Later that night he fell asleep with a grin on his face.

* * *

The Tanto poll- Its decided he's going to learn to use the tanto, I've got some good ideas for that. I thank those of you who helped me decide.

The Metal poll- I made a change to the poll. I got rid of Tesla. It didn't sound good after I thought about it for a while. I'll be switching the poll to a multi-select.

Chakra tapping- in the series all you have to do to use chakra is be physically fit, have some intelligence, and know how to draw out your chakra. To me that sounds absolutely stupid, why wouldn't any kind of warrior or soldier be able to do that? The age of ninjas started with the Sage of six paths, so he somehow just magically just existed and that allowed people to use chakra? So I added an extra step to make it more to my liking.

Naruto's mask- The stupid Naruto is an actual part of his mind, it represents the childhood that he can't have, while his smart side, what he has become, is the dominant of the four. It's like a multiple personality disorder but not. I'm not a Psychiatrist so I won't pretend to try and describe it. You may notice that I put in parts where the smart Naruto slips and the noisy one appears, well that's his other part coming through, he may use it as a mask but it is still an essential part of him.

Arius- Arius will make a comeback at some point. I'll bring him back when I feel the story is in a rut or just slows down in general.

Academy classes- In the Naruto series there is only one class of people being taught the way of the ninja, and of those only nine actually make it. I call BULL FUCKING SHIT! A ninja village will have constant losses of ninja from death, retirement, illness, pregnancy, MIAs, and turncoats so there is no way in hell that there is only one class of students to replenish the ranks. So that will come into play later.


	9. Chapter 9 Public School System

Sorry for the wait I ended up having to rewrite this chapter and then the site wouldn't let me update.

It seems that chapter 8 went over well. I was nervous that the interaction between Naruto and Anko was a little rushed. I didn't want it to be a trained by Anko fanfic so I'm limiting it to pointers and possibly a jutsu or two later on.

Within this chapter is my first fight scene, it's a little short though, by a little i mean minuscule. Please tell me how I did. If you know of a story in particular that has good fight scenes please let me know, so I can see how it's properly done.

* * *

Chapter 9 Public School System

He was floating aimlessly. All he could see around him was mist slowly shifting about him and white clouds filling the sky. He walked and walked, the entire world was the same, and there was nothing to suggest that he had even moved at all. Turning his head he spied something off in the distance, a lone silhouette far out in the mist. As the seconds flowed on the shadow in the mist moved closer and closer, he could start making out its features. It appeared to be a women, she was wearing what seemed to be a dress and the only color that he could see of her was fiery red hair and piercing blue eyes. There was an odd itch at the back of his mind as though he knew the person before him but had not seen her in a long time.

"Naruto." A far off but gentle voice said. "Naaruuutoooooo." It said a little louder echoing off of the endless mist.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"Naruto, its time." The voice said.

"Time for what?"

"Naruto wake the hell up!" It yelled.

He instantly found himself bolt upright facing down a very miffed Chunin. "Did you have a nice sleep?"

"Ten more minutes." the blonde replied only to lay his head back down.

"Fangirls." The man said flatly.

Naruto disappeared in a flash of inhuman speed only to reappear curled up in a ball in one of the rooms corners. "So many sparkles so much pain, make it stop make it stop." He said as he was rocking back and forth.

Rubbing his head the Chunin walked back to his position at the front of the room. "Allow me to introduce myself while we wait for the orange one to snap out of his delirium. I am Oda Tokugawa, I will be your primary teacher for your fourth and final year at this the shinobi academy. It will be my responsibility to finish off your education and transform you into proud Konoha ninja. This year's curriculum will consist of history, tactics, jutsu refinement and learning about the joy of the Log with Mister Iruka Umino. Physical conditioning, Taijutsu, ninja weapons, and survival training with myself. If at the end of the year you pass the test you will become a ninja of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Unlike you're the previous years where book study is the main focus and would mean we would stay inside most of the time. That is not true for your fourth year, we shall begin class immediately, so everyone outside and start stretching." The students started filing outside in almost silence save for the few voices uttering the words slave 'driver'.

Looking over to the corner the teacher saw that it was no longer occupied. _You failed once already, it is evident that you are not meant to be a shinobi…but I guess I can't hate you for trying to be someone. _

All the students had lined up outside on the practice field awaiting their teacher, some of them locked on a boy with blonde hair who was wearing the most abominable sweat suit man has ever created. Looking over his clipboard he started mentally organizing the students. "I will be pairing you up with a partner today, it will be by ranking from last year. Now Naruto Uzumaki with Rock Lee, Serra Antiva and Mordukai Smith….

* * *

"Now everyone we are going to start by running ten laps around the practice field at the same pace as your partner. GO!" all the children ran off at varying speeds, some without their partners. _Wow this is almost pathetic to watch. Half of them don't even care about the status as their partner, and are completely ignoring what I just told them to do._ He started marking off those that stayed with their partners and taking note of those who left their partner behind. _Now where's Naruto. _Looking around he spied the blonde running along with his partner. _Well at least he seems to understand the concept of partners._

All of the students had finished their laps and had huddled together in the middle of the practice field where a circle had been drawn in chalk. Some of the students were on the ground trying to catch their breath, while others were standing around as if the run had not affected them at all. Naruto had come in last but did so because he stayed with his partner who was lagging behind the whole way through. "Alright now we will do some spars. Uzumaki, Lee start us off."

"Great a battle to see who's dead last this won't be very exciting." Said one of the students.

"Alright Lee I won't hold back." Naruto said as he and Lee were walking into the center of the circle of students. Lee was wearing a white Chinese themed shirt, non-descript black pants, accompanied by black slippers. He had his long black hair was tied in a braid while his pupil-less eyes burned with determination and if you looked deep enough one could see a small flame of youth burning brightly.

"Naruto I am determined to win. I must make myself into a splendid ninja."

"There will be no jutsu no weapons and no kekkei genkai. This will be a strictly Taijutsu battle. Victory by ring out, surrender, or K.O. You may begin." Oda said.

Lee was the first to charge, throwing a left cross at the blondes head. Naruto dropped down dodging the punch, landing on one hand and starting the movements for a leg sweep. But was foiled when Lee, still charging, stepped on his hand causing him to collapse. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" The blonde said over and over as he rolled on the ground clutching his hand. "God why did you step on my hand that hurt!" Naruto started blowing on his hand in an effort to numb the pain.

Lee was in shock. "I'm very very sorry I did not mean to injure you. Please forgive me!" He said as he bowed.

All the students face faulted, the teacher being a veteran of war retained enough composure to stay standing but still had a twitching eye.

"This is downright pathetic." Said a bun-haired girl in Chinese styled clothes. "They're making us look bad. That couldn't have been three seconds in. I know Lee is below average at Taijutsu but the other guy is is there is no words for it. No form, no rhythm, he's lucky that his wrist didn't snap from the angle it was at when he landed on it." She said as she climbed back onto her feet.

Naruto had gotten over the pain of having his hand crushed and resumed a fighting stance along with the Lee. This time it was the blonde who charged, he threw a high roundhouse kick that was caught. The bushy browed one, with great effort, threw his opponent to the ground. _He was too heavy for someone his size. _Lee thought. Naruto jumped to his feet and resumed the attack with a flurry of punches. Lee started backing up as he was blocking the barrage of fists, till his opponent overextended a punch leaving an opening which was taken advantage of by a firm right palm thrust to the chest. The thrust sent the orange fighter back a few feet and left him short of breathe. Lee looking around saw that he was only a few feet from the circles edge. _I just have to get him out of the circle._ Naruto once again charged forward but this time with a single strong left, Lee caught the jackets sleeve and the incoming fist, rolled back, planted his feet in his opponents' stomach and kicked out.

_Aw crap this might hurt a bit. _Naruto thought to himself as he flew through the air upside-down, his forward momentum having been added to Lee's kick he rocketed over the boundary line and into the group of nearby students. "What pretty birdies mommy, they look like they have tuxedos, do you think they would play with me?" The young Jinchuriki said as he tried grabbing the imaginary birds that were flying around his head…while atop the pile of downed students.

Lee pumped his fist in the air in victory and yelled. "Yes I won final" only to be cutoff.

"Tie!" Announced the teacher. "Double ring out." Lee looked down and saw the he was standing with both his feet outside the ring. "Lee ten points, I'll put it as a win since you took out five other students as well, it's their own faults that they stood to close to the fight. Naruto four points." _He couldn't have been thrown hard enough to knock them all out could he? I mean he can't weigh more than a hundred pounds right? _The teacher thought.

"I was so close to actually winning." The victor said with head down as he walked back to the circle of students.

"Lee please take Naruto to the nurse, it's a bad sign when someone starts talking to imaginary penguins. Next up is Serra Antiva and Mordukai Smith."Continued the teacher.

* * *

"What hit me?" He said as he woke up in a eerily familiar white room.

"Inertia." Answered a voice from his left.

"Well hello again nurse hatchet. What am I in for today?"

"A Naruto induced incident. I've got real patients to see today so you've got seven seconds to leave before I pull out the needles."

"Okaythanksbye." Naruto was out the door and into the hall before the nurse could even start counting.

* * *

"Then at the height of the battle the Fourth Hokage appeared and then started to systematically wipe out the enemy forces using his Hiraishin technique. The victory in this pivotal battle is what allowed Konoha to win the third shinobi… hold on a second." Said a brown haired teacher with a scar running horizontally across his nose. Walking over to the door to the hallway, and threw it open. On the other side was Naruto poised to kick in the door. "Go to the front of the room, quietly if possible."

"Aw your no fun Iruka sensei, I was just going to give the door a love tap." He replied with a friendly grin.

"It doesn't matter, you're the last one so go up front and demonstrate Henge, Kawarimi, and Bushin."

"But Iruka sensei"

"Naruto everyone else has already done it. So stop stalling and get on with it." Walking up to the front of the room Naruto observed that every set of eyes were trained solely on him. "Henge please." Iruka ordered.

Going through the hands signs Naruto called out the jutsu "Henge." And was shrouded in a puff of smoke. As the cloud started to disperse parts of his new form began to show through. While most ninja even civilians would pick to transform into a person that they see on a regular basis so as to have a easier time creating a passable form to use for their jutsu, the hyperactive bundle of randomness that is Naruto Uzumaki had decided to go another route. As the smoke cleared it revealed the young Jinchuriki in all his feminine glory. Before the class stood a tall shapely blonde haired blue eyed woman wearing no clothing save the hair ties holding his/her hair in pigtails and having only two small tufts of smoke covering her breasts and womanhood. The male half of the class found themselves either holding their noses and covering their blush or face down unconscious in a pool of their own blood. The female half however were all staring with flaming eyes of feminine fury, at the nude blonde.

Examining him/herself the henged Naruto said. "It finally worked, I am awesome. I'm usually to top heavy, or unbalanced." He said as he grabbed his not so flat chest, as though he were weighing it. This brought an increase to the bloodlust from the female students.

"NARUTO CUT THAT CRAP OUT!" Iruka yelled at his transformed student. If anyone would care to look closely at his face they would see bits of tissue in his nose holding back the torrent of blood. He swiftly swung his fist at the offending students head to break the jutsu, as soon as he made contact the blonde burst into smoke. _Stupid brat playing pranks in class, he'll have so much detention that he'll never see the light of day again._

When the smoke cleared it was not Naruto holding his head in pain but one of the still conscious students from the front row. "Got to love Kawarimi." The intended target of the punch said from his new seat in the front row. "I'll save you the trouble of yelling at me and then sending me to the Hokage. Bye bye." He gave a short wave and dived out the open window to safety."

"Please let him graduate this year so I don't have to see him ever again." Iruka said as he proceeded to bang his head on one of the tables.

The door to the hallway opened up revealing the other teacher Oda. Looking around the classroom he took in the large quantities of blood unconscious students, and very irate females. "What happened here?"

"I'll. Give. You. A. Hint. Its. Short. And. Has. No. Fashion. Sense." Said while still pounding away.

_I miss all the good stuff. _Oda thought to himself.

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Well that's chapter 9. Please review and please vote.

A friend of mine recently helped me with some plot line problems I was having. His ideas are really going to help. They will start to come into play next chapter.

BOW BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY LOG! BOW I SAY!

I need a proof reader for chapter ten. There is some stuff i need a second opinion about. If you want the job let me know.


	10. Chapter 10 Finally

Sorry for the long wait, writers block coupled with a genuine lack of motivation to do the team assignments made me put this off.

I just want to say this now, this story is basically how I would want the Naruto series to be corrected. I will be fixing some of the blatantly fucked up crap that pours from kishi's head. This chapter is the start, all previous has been set up.

I was just thinking about the shows I used to watch as a kid, and a thought hit me. Naruto is a super sayan. Blonde, blue eyes, wears orange and blue, superhuman abilities, lack of intelligence, and can ingest mass amounts of food in one sitting. HE IS THE ILLEGITIMATE CHILD OF GOKU! I bet Chichi is pissed.

If you don't remember _italics_ are people's inner monologue things.

Chapter 10 Finally

"Why the hell did it have to be bushins! I mean the one time when I actually want to pass exam it's the only thing I can't do, if it was Henge Kawarimi or even infiltration skills I would have passed. Damn my godly levels of chakra." Naruto said as he stomped around under the tree in front of the academy. "If I have to listen to one more history lecture about old dead guys I'm gonna kill someone." Having vented his frustrations he settled himself down on the wooden swing.

Naruto had decided to pass the exit exam for this year, seeing as how he didn't want to be paired with kids younger than himself. For the written portion of the test he had even filled in enough answers to get a low B. For the Taijutsu section he was paired up with one of the weaker kids in his class and soundly defeated him within two minutes. He even scored nineteen out of twenty on the kunai throwing portion much to the dismay of the official Sasuke fan club since their object of affection only scored an eighteen. He was well on his way to passing with a decent score that was until it was announced that to graduate they had to successfully form one to three standard clones. He being unable to create a single usable one failed.

It seemed like an eternity of sitting contemplating the positives and negatives of moving to Kumo or Kusa until he heard footsteps coming from behind him. Without bothering to look behind him he said. "Can I help you Mizuki-sensei?"

"I really did try to pass you, but you know how Iruka is a stickler for the rules. Really it's not his fault either, it's the whole system. It's designed to favor those that come from a clan than anyone from a civilian background. But I know how hard you tried this year, there was a drastic improvement in your school and homework. So that's why I started looking for another way for you to graduate. I found one."

_I call bullshit. I have every law rule and regulation for the entire village memorized, the only other way to graduate is to be apprenticed to a jonin. What's his game? _Spinning around quickly he locked his starry blue eyes onto his silver haired teacher. "Reallyreallyreallyreally?" He sad excitedly.

With a friendly grin "Yes. It's from the old rules set down by the first Hokage, its hardly ever used nowadays. You see all you have to do is demonstrate you infiltration, evasion, and stealth skills by entering the Hokage tower. Once there you have to go into the Hokages office, find the scroll labeled forbidden, sneak out of the tower undiscovered, go to a meeting place and master one of the jutsu inside the scroll, all within an allotted time of course. But I believe you can do it."

_I know I act stupid but he seriously can't think that anybody would fall for this. Breaking and entering, tagged onto theft of Hokage's property is a huge offence, let alone it being a scroll of jutsu._ "Really that's it? I've been doing stuff like that since I was six! It's like this test was made for me." He said with even more stars in his eyes.

_Oh it was you demon. _"Do you know where the old shack is in the east forest?"

"You mean the abandoned one where there's no one around for miles? And where you can easily get turned around, and lose your way for hours on end?"

"Yes that's the one. Now what do you say ten o'clock?"

"Oh I better get ready. Thanks Mizuki-sensei you're the best!" He started running off in the direction of the Hokage tower. _I'm glad I carry everything I need with me. _He thought as he rubbed his forearm. _ But I guess it couldn't hurt to be extra prepared._ He altered his course so that he was heading to his apartment.

"Heh like stealing candy from a bright orange baby. Lord Orochimaru will reward me handsomely. Bwahahahaha."

With all his weight behind him he delivered a powerful kick at his target. "Gramps I'm home!" He yelled as the door slammed open.

Looking up from his work the aged Kage greeted the new occupant of the room. "Hello Naruto. I'm sorry to hear about the test. I was just about ready to go home for the night would you care to join me for some food?" The old man had been heartbroken when he heard about Narutos most recent failure with the graduating exam. He sincerely wished that he could do something about it but his hands were tied in every way. The exam was designed to weed out the absolutely hopeless cases, the ones who thought being a ninja would be cool or the ones that had no ability whatsoever. _It appears that there are just too many things working against him. _

Closing the door he walked over to one of the shelves and started perusing the contents. "It's my fault really I should have just passed last year. Sadly I won't be able to join you I've got something to do later, maybe a rain check?"

"You failed the previous test purposely? Why?" The Kage asked in surprise.

"Arius said he'd be back before I graduated. I guess it was some sort of childish notion that caused me to wait for him. But really you think someone with my intelligence would fail that test twice?"

"And this year?"

"Weeeeell, I have too much chakra and too little control to form a simple bushin. Now if you would teach me a clone that uses more chakra like the Earth Clone technique I could"

Raising a hand the aged Kage cut him off. "You know I can't, the council pretty much declared it illegal for anyone to help you at all. I'm getting closer to rescinding those laws but it will still take a few more months or so."

"Yeah I know, hey how many Jonins would you say might be willing to take me on as an apprentice?"

"Honestly, one maybe two, but the first already has an apprentice and a team, you saw to that. And the second is slated to take a genin team… and hes too lazy."

"So Guy, well shit, then I guess I'll have to go through another year or leave."

_He's considered leaving?_ "I've seen your interactions with Anko, she has the skills to be a regular jonin, if she wanted, she could take you?"

"No she wants her style and the snake summoning contract to follow her to the grave, and I don't have nearly enough money to bribe her into doing it. But on to the real reason why I'm here." Looking up from the shelves he stared straight into the old man's eyes.

"And what would that be?"

"There's a Chunin level shinobi that at minimum is planning a theft and at most is turning traitor."

He instantly switched over to Hokage mode. "This is very serious accusation, what proof do you have?"

"Beyond what was said to me nothing so its his word against mine. I suggest you send some ANBU to the shack in the east forest at say ten o'clock. One more thing, sorry that I'm forced to do this."

"Huh?" Was all the kage could say.

Going through a few handsigns Naruto announced his jutsu "Sexy Jutsu." And disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

"Oh no." Said the Hokage with a worried look on his face.

Sarutobi still had a worried look on his face but the instinct from all his years as a ninja kicked in and tensed his body making him ready to spring into action if needed. As the smoke cleared the blonde stood arms open as though he was welcoming the Hokage, also he was naked and a hot chick. Do to years of fighting for his life, ruling a village, filing paperwork, and being a father the Hokage had shaped an iron will capable of remaining calm in even the most extreme of situations. It was solely due to this will that allowed him to stay standing with only a small trickle of blood coming from his nose. That was until the blonde spoke in a low voice. "Please be gentle with me Sarutobi-sama." The feared Professor now lied in a pool of his own blood with a grin plastered across his face. "I just destroyed the Hokage with one attack does that make me the strongest shinobi in the village?" He mused out loud.

The clock on the wall read seven twenty-three. "With a perv level of six he should be out for the next sixty two minutes." Walling over to the door he cracked it open stuck his head out gave the surroundings a quick look then placed a sign on the door knob, and then ducked back inside. The sign read 'Do not Disturb'. "Now where's that scroll?"

While looking at the shelves he had really been looking for the scroll that Mizuki wanted. He hoped that the old man didn't store it in a safe or have it stashed in a secret location. Not that it would deter him for long, but the notion of breaking into a vault would probably be a greater offense than just plucking something off a shelf. Going through the various shelves lining the walls of the Hokages office Naruto searched for the scroll labeled forbidden. Only to find it in a decorative stand right next to the door.

"That's not a smart idea. Well let's see what makes this so important." Picking the scroll up from its holder he laid it on the desk and sat down in the official Hokage seat. "This is a really nice chair, good lower back support."

Ignoring the big lettering that said 'FORBIDDEN' our curious hero broke the seal on the scroll, and proceeded to unraveled it._ I mean really with a title like that who wouldn't want to open it?_ Immediately he saw words, a note written in a neat print.

'This scroll is the property of the Kage residing in the Village hidden in the Leaves. Should any person other than the reigning Hokage be caught in possession of or had read from this scroll is subject to execution.

-Hashirama Senju, Hokage'

"Awesome, I feel compelled to read further." Unrolling it further he came to the first entry.

**Shadow Clone**

**Ninjutsu **

**Level A Technique**

The Shadow Clone technique splits the user's chakra in half and forms a solid copy. The copy has the memories and personality of the person using it. The clone will have the ability to use any jutsu that the user knows, as long as it is not more chakra than the clone possesses. Once dispelled any memories the clone obtained will be transferred to the user along with any remaining chakra.

**Uses:**

Developed for recon and diversionary purposes.

**Warning:**

Due to division of the user's chakra it is recommended that the technique only be used by persons with large chakra reserves. Over use of this technique could result in death.

Upon collection of memories from a dispelled clone the user may experience pain from the influx of foreign memories. The longer the clone has existed the more memories will be created thus causing more pain.

**Derived jutsu:**

Multi Shadow Clone –Splits the users chakra into three or more equal amount.

Great Clone Explosion- Clone uses all remaining chakra it possesses to detonate itself. Explosion radius is determined by amount of chakra that the clone possesses at time of activation.

As he read the details of the jutsu the grin on his face started getting progressively bigger. "A clone that takes a boat load of chakra and it can use jutsu, well sign me up."

With Mizuki

"hahahahahahaha hahaha haha ha haaa. I think that's enough laughing. I better go make sure that I have everything packed." With that the white haired teacher disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Ha I got it down in only twenty minutes. Fear me for I is awesome."

"Did you know that you're really full of yourself? Its almost scary."

"Aw shut up. Who are you to comment on how I act?"

"You." The clone said as though it were the single most obvious fact that has ever needed to be verbalized in the entirety of all time.

"Fine just go through the scroll and memorize everything." Naruto ordered the clone.

"Yes sir right away sir sorry I cant move faster sir" Said the clone positively dripping with sarcasm.

"Is that a hint of sarcasm I hear in your voice?"

"Surely you jest for there be not a single ounce of this sarcasm in thy body." It took a whole four seconds for the clone and the original to double over laughing.

"You're a funny guy…get back to work. And let me know if there's anything interesting."

"Asshole."

"I bet this would make studying and doing paperwork easier. I should lord this over Gramps for a while." While the clone was working Naruto was playing with his new technique. He was having his clones try out Henge and Kawarimi seeing as they were the only other jutsu that he knew. He was currently staring at three clones each using his sexy technique, all four of them wore smiles that could only be described as pure undiluted evil of the second degree. "What do you think? Harem jutsu?" The clones nodded in agreement. "You two go create other appearances, but don't use anybody that we've seen before I don't even want to think what would happen if someone like Ayame found out we were using her body." Both of the clones paled at the thought of a pissed off Ayame, and her assortment of sharp kitchen utensils. "Or Anko." All of them started to visibly shake at the thought of a pissed snake mistress, or even worse if she liked it and wanted to thank them with a round of hide and go boom.

"N-naruto wh-whats going on?" The previously lifeless body of the Hokage said as he was getting to his feet. That was until he caught sight of not one but two near naked blonde bombshells. Needless to say he was unconscious again with a stream of blood coming from out his nose.

Glancing at the clock he saw it was eight-o-eight. "He was only out for forty five minutes, I'm going to have to increase his perv level."

"We should leave, Sexy Jutsu is the only thing we have that can keep him sedate, but he might bleed out if we keep doing it. Im outy." One of the clones said right before he/she dispelled.

There was a tickle at the back of his mind once the clone dispelled. As he concentrated he could distinguish the clones memories from his own. _Im gonna have to reorganize my Vault._ "How's the scroll coming?" He said to the clone that was pouring over the scroll.

"Halfway done, but there is a lot of information in here I mean a lot. Some of the formulas for these things are mind blowing, I mean this one alone lets you to summon a dead person and hsve them fight for you. Are you sure you can handle the memory transfer?"

"I didn't have any problem with the other one, so it should be fine. Alright finish up the one you're on then dispel." The clone instantly disappeared in a cloud of white smoke. The memories hit him like one of ten of Sakura's 'love taps' at once. He fell to his knees and sat there cradling his head till the pain started to ebb. "Wow that would _not_ be something you would want to deal with on the battlefield." Still dealing with some lingering discomfort Naruto made his way the desk and rolled the scroll back up. Pulling back the sleeve of his orange jacket he revealed two sets of intricate designs running along the underside of his forearm. Laying his arm on the scroll, and he channeled some chakra to the design via his finger. The scroll disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Stop checking out our ass and change into a copy of the scroll."

The clone stood stock still as it was looking at its new version of the sexy technique via the mirror hanging on the wall. "Hehe, think of it as a compliment." After making a hand seal the clone disappeared in a cloud of smoke and was replaced with a scroll the size and color of the one Naruto had sealed away.

"And you I thought I said not to use anyone we know." He rebuked the other clone, while his cheeks had a touch of color.

Standing there with only small tufts of smoke for cover was a perfect imitation of Tsume Inuzuka. "You know you like the show." The clone wiggled its hips then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Stupid know it all clones." Producing a length of rope from his jacket he strapped the 'scroll' to his back and made his way to the window overlooking the city. The last golden rays of the sun were spread out over the multi-colored sky as the very top of the burning orb was holding itself just on the cusp of falling below the distant mountains. Hanging solely in the sky was the pale countenance of lunar body, the distant stars still lay shrouded by the last reaches of the sun. Looking back at the form of the unconscious leader of the village Naruto said. "Don't wait up for me, gramps." He opened the window and launched into the darkening night sky, focused solely on the task before him.

Naruto had been running through the forest for the last hour when he found the shack that he was supposed to wait at. The shack was located in a clearing sat on the border of the land owned by Konoha from the land owned by the Daimyo who ruled The Land of Fire. The hut was a small rundown affair with one window one door and a small chimney. The sign hanging by the door identified it as belonging to a long forgotten lumberjack.

_**Evaluate the situation**__. Mizuki may or may not be a traitor. I stole a scroll full of forbidden jutsu. I'm in the middle of a forest by myself. ANBU is supposed to be here at ten but knowing them they'll be late fifteen minutes or so. __**Plan for the worst.**__ Mizuki is a traitor, there's more than one, and they're all stronger than me. Plant as many traps as possible in a way that might draw attention from the village. The council will be calling for my head, blackmail them into submission._ _**Hope for the best.**__ I'm so fucked._

Putting his fingers in a cross formation Naruto said "Shadow Clone." And eleven copies of him came into existence within a cloud of smoke. He un-slung the fake scroll and gently laid it next to the shack so as not to dispel the clone. He also pulled off his jacket and threw it under one of the nearby trees, as it hit the ground a resounding metal *thunk* echoed through the clearing. "Stupid weighted jacket, it's about time for a new wardrobe anyways." Or his wrists were weighted bands, those too were discarded. Rolling up his pant legs he removed the large weights strapped to his shins. Using one of the seals on his left forearm he summoned two spools of ninja wire a signal flare, two bandoliers of thirty shuriken and thirty kunai. From the other seal on that arm he produced a three inch stack of medium yield concussive and explosive notes

Handing over the supplies to one of the clones he said. "Nine of you set up a perimeter when you're finished dispel one at a time, I don't need to remind you of the pain information overload can cause. The tenth make as many clones as you can and have them Henge into branches rocks and the like. Eleventh set the flare up on the chimney, change into a squirrel or something and if the situation starts going south light it up."

"What about you, boss?" One of the clones said.

"I'll finish with the scroll. Go… and feel free to make it as… messy as you like." That got a smile out of all the clones before they set off.

Sitting with his back to the cabin he unsealed the scroll and started unrolling it. It took him a while till he got to where he left off. After a few minutes of memorizing super dangerous highly secret jutsu from the forbidden scroll that no one should see Naruto summoned another clone.

"Do you think it's a good idea to waste this much chakra before Mizuki gets here?" the clone said instantly upon arrival.

"I feel fine, and besides once one of you pops I receive any leftover chakra. Now I want you to go practice Shadow Shuriken. It will be a good way to test the depth and capabilities of the shadow clones."

"I'm a clone do I even have any shuriken?"

"You are me, figure it out." The clone stood there for a second then grabbed its ninja gear pouch on its belt. Opening it up he saw that there was indeed a full set of shuriken. "If they dispel after one use just use rocks, it should be the same principle…I think." The rear Naruto said without looking up from the scroll.

"Okay boss." The clone ran off into the woods to go practice.

A few minutes later the clones started dispelling one at a time. With each dispel the he received the memories of all the traps that had been set, along with their remaining chakra. The pain was significantly less than the first time he had overloaded from the memory transfer. Looking back at the scroll he memorized the contents of the page. _Another suicide jutsu, it's like someone thought of every way to die in agonizing pain while taking everyone else with you. How bored would you have to be to think up half this shit. _*sigh* _Next! _ As he was almost done with the entire scroll he threw the remaining part open, and saw three jutsu that took his breath away. _Rasengan, Hiraishin, and Dead Demon Consuming Seal. I think I love this scroll._

**Rasengan**

**Ninjutsu**

**Level B**

A jutsu created by the fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze. The user creates a ball of chakra in their hand that they use to thrust into their opponent. Upon contact with any solid object the Rasengan burrows into it and at the completion of the jutsu it will discharge its remaining chakra in a concussive force. No hand signs are required to perform this technique. The jutsu itself is not complete in that the Hokage was unable to add elemental chakra to the Rasengan.

**Uses:**

The Rasengan is effective against defensive fortifications in that it is capable of drilling through stone, dirt, wood, and even metal. If used on a person it will inflict severe to lethal amounts of damage.

**Warning:**

Due to the significant amount of chakra that is used, and the difficulty of the technique it is suggested that only shinobi of Jonin rank or higher should use this attack.

Should the technique destabilize while in the users hand the release of chakra could be crippling if not lethal.

**To use the technique:**

The first step is to use your chakra to spin water in within a confined space, a water-balloon is suggested. The first step will be completed when the user can burst the whole balloon, and not just a hole in one side. This step emphasizes control.

For the second step it is suggested that a rubber ball be used. The user must, using their chakra, spin air in multiple directions within the ball till it bursts. As air is thinner than water and a ball has a thicker skin than a balloon, it requires more force to burst it. This step emphasizes power.

The third and final step is to create a spherical shell for the physical form of the jutsu by combining both step one and two. Use a balloon and create the sphere within the balloon without moving the balloon itself. This step emphasizes form.

**Notes:**

The jutsu should range in size from an orange to a cantaloupe.

**Hiraishin**

**Fuinjutsu**

**Level S**

The Hiraishin was the masterpiece of the Fuinjutsu master and Fourth Hokage Minato Namikaze. The technique allowed Minato to instantaneously teleport to the location of the 'Rite' which were carved into the handles of his special kunai. Fuinjutsu master Jiraya attempted to crack the secrets of Hiraishin after the death of Minato but was unable to declaring "That blonde bastard is a fucking genius, lucky with the lady's to… what an asshole." The seal below contains the only surviving kunai of Minato Namikaze, Konoha's Yellow Flash.

Without a seconds hesitation Naruto channeled chakra into the seal and with a small puff of smoke a three pointed kunai emerged. Picking it up gently as though it weren't a weapon of war but a piece of art Naruto examined the blade. Like a standard kunai it was either iron or steal, and had a ring on the end. But instead of a simple cloth wrapped handle there was a wooden grip with a design carved into it. The blade split into three points with the middle being the longest. He was staring at it intently as though if he looked hard enough he would know its secrets, he was interrupted however when he caught the sound of an object coming his way. Tilting his head to the left a small rock went whizzing through where his head was but a second ago.

"We don't have time to stop. Get back to work and get emotional later." Ordered the clone that had been ordered to practice Shadow Shuriken.

"Thanks." Naruto said as he pulled up his shirt revealing a large seal running across his chest, with it coming to a spiral over his heart. Placing the kunai at the center he channeled chakra to the seal and the kunai vanished without even a puff of smoke. "How did it go? And how much chakra you have left?" He asked the clone.

"It will take practice to master but I've got it to a usable level. On empty. Sorryabouttheheadachebye." The clone finished then promptly burst into smoke.

There was a twitch in Narutos eye as though something was bothering him but could ignore it. _That wasn't too bad, maybe it takes getting used to._ Refocusing his attention on the scroll he unrolled it to the next technique.

**Dead Demon Consuming Seal**

**Nin/Fuinjutsu hybrid**

**Level SS**

By offering up their soul the user summons the God of Death. The God will latch onto the soul of the opponent and extract it from their body, then the soul is sealed within the body of the user. At the completion of the technique the God will devour the soul of the user. Once in the belly of the God the soul of the user and of the opponent will battle for all eternity. This technique was created by Minato Namikaze, Konohas Fourth Hokage, and has only been used by him.

**Uses:**

This technique is a one shot one kill, suicide jutsu.

**Warning:**

Upon activation of this jutsu the user's life is forfeit.

**Derived Jutsu:**

While under attack by the Kyuubi the Fourth Hokage altered the technique. The change allowed the Hokage to seal the soul and chakra of the Kyuubi into the body of an infant, making the child a Jinchuriki. Despite the change to the original technique the Hokage died as a result of its activation.

The below section contains the key that tightens or unlocks the Eight Trigrams Seal that is on the Jinchuriki of the Kyuubi. There is another key in the possession of the Toad summons. 

"You old man(father) are a goldmine of awesome."

It was fifteen minutes till ten, when he got to the last technique in the scroll. The contents of which left him rolling on the ground in uncontrollable laughter. 

**Sexy Jutsu**

**Gen/Ninjutsu hybrid**

**Level A**

This technique transforms the user into an attractive woman almost entirely in the nude. A small amount of smoke cover the user's chest and groin. The jutsu is indiscriminate in that it has an area effect and will lead to three possible reactions. One, target is stunned for a minimum of four seconds. Two, the target may be subject to blood loss through the nose. Three, if the target is unprepared or has a weak will they will become unconscious for an unknown amount of time.

**Uses:**

Distraction. Knock out opponent.

**Warning:**

Do to the nature of the jutsu, it could lead to death in people with weak bodies due to blood loss.

"Ca- ca-n't br-ea-the going- to- die." Naruto gasped out as he was rolling on the ground trying to breathe. _It's a forbidden technique, I am so awesome._ It took a few minutes but he was finally able to gain enough composure to stand and breathe at the same time. He sealed the scroll back in his arm after having rolled it up. _It should be about ten I wonder where he is, I should get a watch, oh well. _

There was a rustle in the trees and a blanket of utter silence enveloped the clearing. A single dark form leapt out from the foliage. "Naruto what are you doing?" It shouted in a very non-Mizuki like fashion. As the figure came closer and stepped out of the shadow of the trees it took the form of a Konoha Chunin. A Chunin with brown hair and a scar running across his nose. He was panting lightly. "Why did you steal the scroll?" He demanded.

_Ah crap. Thinkthinkthinkthink. _He thought franticly."Iruka sensei you must be here to help with Mizuki's test, right? I was only able to learn one, I hope that's okay." He asked in hopes of his stupid image proving useful once more.

"Test? What test is Mizuki having you do?"

"You know borrow the scroll and learn one of the techniques in it within a time limit. Mizuki said its an old rule he found that will let me graduate." Said as he was rubbing the back of his head in the iconic Naruto way.

Iruka being one of the few people in this village that even associates with the blonde menace, was used to the hand behind the head pose. It was mostly seen after a prank was pulled somewhere in the village, and the authorities rounded up the usual suspect. And the usual suspect was always in the same pose with the same expression. To anybody not familiar with Naruto it was a look that tried to pass off as innocent. But to someone who knew him it showed that he knew what he did was wrong and he would do it again in a heartbeat.

"Naruto there is no such test."

"What! I went through all that trouble for nothing!"

Naruto caught the distinctive sound of an incoming object flying through the air. But before he Kawarimi Iruka forcefully threw him to the ground. There was a dull thud as the object impacted the back of the scarred Chunin who was now hunched over the prone form of Naruto. Dropping to his knees his hand went to his back as he stared coughing up blood.

"Naruto! Don't listen to him he's trying to steal the scroll!" Shouted a voice before the form of Mizuki landed on a branch of a large tree across the clearing. Across his back was strapped two fuma shuriken. "Naruto give me the scroll ill protect it."

"Don't listen to him hes lying!" Iruka yelled back only to double over in pain.

"Wha?" The theif said in confusion. But his thoughts were. _Damn it! This is really bad. I might have been able to take him alone but I don't think I can do that with an injured ally holding me back.._

"No don't listen to him he and the villagers have been keeping a horrible secret from you."

"No don't Mizuki! It's a capital offence! You can still turn back, just surrender now and we can sort this out." He said through gritted teeath as he started pulling himself up with the help of a nearby tree.

"What secret?" The blonde asked in an attempt to stall.

"In class everyone is told the story about how twelve years ago the Kyuubi attacked, and the Hokage defeated it."

"What does that have to do with anything?" _Hes close to an explosive note. If im lucky I can get him in the first shot._

"No Mizuki don't!" Iruka pleaded while still trying to muster the energy to defend himself.

"Well that's a lie, the Hokage couldn't kill it so he trapped it instead. YOU! Naruto are the nine tailed fox!" Pulling one of the shuriken off his back he prepared to throw.

"No Naruto your"

"So. The. Fuck. What!" He yelled into the night stunning both the academy teachers. With his left hand he formed a half handsign. "Ive known for years shit stain! Want to know something else? Bang goes the dynamite." As soon as the words left his mouth he remote detonated the seals closest to Mizuki. The explosion enveloped the white haired teacher in a cloud of debry. As the dust cleared all that was left were the shredded remains of a tree and half of a log. "Kawarimi, shit!" Turning to his left he saw a fuma shuriken already in flight. Any attempts to dodge would result in it hitting the still struggling Iruka. Crossing his arms in front of him he prepared to take the attack. Ten feet before it struck three clones burst out from the surrounding foliage and jumped in front of the projectile. The first took the brunt of the force before being picked up and thrown back against the clones behind it then dispelled. The second clone caught the slowed weapon by the hole in the center and held on as it and the clone behind it went sliding back a few feet. "Owch." The second clone said before it dispelled. The last clone picked up the weapon and turned to the middle of the clearing. The sounds of some of the tripwire activated traps started echoing from the forest.

Needing to flush out Mizuki Naruto detonated the remaining tags throughout the surrounding area, among the ensuing destruction there could be heard the fierce swearing of an adult and twenty or so bursting clones.

The form of Mizuki lept into the center of the newly enlarged clearing. His clothes were completely covered in cuts and burn marks. "Not bad demon brat. You actually learned one of the jutsu from the scroll, and even planted traps, the one with the kunai was especially nasty, color me impressed." Mizuki said.

With Iruka

_What the hell? Ive never seen this side of Naruto, its like hes completely different from the knucklehead I knew. He prepped the field beforehand, in case something happened. And now hes forced Mizuki into the open. This way beyond anything he could do._

"Shuriken, please." He gestured to the clone besides him. It tossed him the giant hunk of metal, then took out one of its own kunai and got into a ready stance.

"But now it ends. Lord Orochimaru might even reward me for bringing back the body of a demon." Readying his last shuriken his entire body tensed up as he put everything he had into the throw. With a grunt of exertion he flung the metal object with all his might not at the ready Naruto no but at the struggling Iruka.

As soon as the shuriken left Mizukis the last clone preformed a hasty Kawarimi with the downed shinobi. The real Naruto on the other hand had slipped the giant weapon onto his hand, like a bracelet, and had his fingers in the form of a cross. The bladed weapon shot straight through the clone that had switched with dolphin boy.

"Well your last clone is gone, I know what that technique is it's the Kage Bushin and I know it takes a very large amount of chakra to produce even a single clone. With the number clones you made its a miracle that your even standing, but you blew all your traps and explosives. Its over now, just die." Reaching behind his back he produced a kunai and started advancing on the deamon container.

"I agree it is over. Mass Shadow Clone jutsu." He said calmly. In an instant the whole area was filled with white smoke.

The smoke cleared to reveal a most of the clearing and the surrounding woods were filled with Narutos, all of which had a giant shuriken in hand. Mizuki was too stunned to fight let alone think of escaping.

"Goodbye, sensei." Sounded from a chorus of voices. All of the clones launched their weapons and inediently started a series of handseals. The jutsu was complete. "Shadow Shuriken Jutsu!" They roared as one.

Naruto created two hundred and fifty clones each carrying a shuriken. Each threw theirs at the same time then preformed the technique which replicated each thrown four times. So in that instant there were one thousand two hundred and fifty projectiles converging on one spot. It would take someone with a pair of Sharingans to kawarimi out of the attack and only someone of immense skill and speed could have dodged such a broad attack. Mizuki was not of the Uchihas and had the skills of mid Chunin, he was not able to get away.

The immobile Iruka sat there staring at the mound of shuriken. _That's two A rank techniques at once._ "There is no way he could have survived that." He said to no one in particular.

"I know." Said Naruto who had positioned himself behind Iruka and was going over his injuries. He had a rather grim face, but that is to be expected during your first kill. Even more so with someone you have known for a number of years, even if that person was a scheming bastard. "I don't think we should remove the weapon, it might make you bleed out." Naruto turned towards the shack that had remarkably stayed standing though the whole ordeal. "Light it up!" He yelled.

The clone still henged as a squirrel lit the fuse to the mortar style flare then dispelled. After the fuse burned down the mortar ejected a ball of flame high into the air signaling their position to anyone neerby. At this time the remaining clones had started dispelling along with the shuriken their shuriken. After the entire pile dispelled all that was left was a single metal object and red stain strewn across the ground.

"Naruto you did what you did to protect yourself and me Mizuki. He would have killed us without a second thought. You have done nothing wrong." Iruka could see that his words were having an effect but there was still a darkness in his eyes. "Naruto could you close your eyes for a second?" Kneeling down in front of the injured party Naruto closed his eyes. He then heard the sound of shuffling clothes then a weight on his forehead. "You can open them now."

Opening his eyes his first observation was the lack of hitai. Reaching up to the weaight on his forehead he found a familiar metal plate. Eyes widening in realization of what his new accessory ment. "Wait what?"

"What you did here was what a Konoha shinobi would do. You earned this. Now"

Three dark figures leapt from the dark forest and surrounded the two. "We are here to…" Looking around he saw the remnants of the battle and the corpse of Mizuki.

Naruto sat there with one eye twitching at the new arrivals. The masks identaified them as ANBU. Horse Owl and Unicorn respectively. "Help? Scraping the bottom of the barrel with you lot aren't they. Please tell me one of you is a medic."

"I am." Said owl happily.

_I need a drink._ Naruto thought to himself.

Mist and whispers that was all that made up the world he inhabited. It was not unpleasant in the least, it wasn't even enjoyable. It just was. He always came to the same place, there was no deviation whatsoever. Always in the mist always alone.

_Lucid dreaming would be so much better if I actually had control of the dream. _He thought to himself. In_oichi said if I could make it a lucid dream then I could take over, but it doesn't seem to be working. God this is boring. _A deep reverberating sound echoed through the mist. Followed by another and another. With the first sound the mist started to fade from view, and Naruto felt himself rising to the conscious realm. At the end of the third sound he was awake in his bed.

The sound repeated again but this time it had a distinctive wooden sound. "Door." Getting up from the soft recesses of his warm bed he made his way to the front door of his apartment. Looking through the peep hole he saw the distinct uniform of Konoha's ANBU. Opening the door he was greeted by the pure white of an unblemished porcelain mask.

"Naruto Uzimaki, the council requires your attendance in twenty minutes." The masked shinobi disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

"Those old codgers are finally making their move. Time to roll out the big guns hahaha." He said as he closed the door to his apartment.

"Naruto would you please explain yourself to the council." Sarutobi said flatly from his seat at the head of the council room.

Looking around Naruto marveled at the design of the room. It was a circular room roughly fifty feet in diameter. The wide set of double doors were carved out of solid oak, and each depicted a broad reaching tree. The room was divided into four parts. The Hokage sat at the front of the room behind a raised desk. Directly in front of Kage seat was a semi-circular area where people could speak before the council. The seats of the council were split in two, the civilians and the ninja. The civilians sat at two rows of long curving tables on the side closest the door. The ninja sat across a walkway in identical seating arrangements. The domed roof of the room was painted with a mural of a wooden torch burning brightly.

"Well I'm blonde, blue eyed"

"Naruto." The Hokage cut him off with a serious tone.

"I apprehended a traitor, by the name of Mizuki… uhm does anyone know his last name?"

"Aprehended? You killed him and you stole the scroll! Those are acts punishable by death!" Yelled one of the angry civilian council members.

"It's not my fault that the totally relevant education system has improved to the point where it makes an academy student able to kill such a powerful Chunin like Mizuki." The sarcasm that was pouring from his mouth was so thick that if you looked hard enough you could actually see it. "As for the theft of the scroll, I merely placed the scroll in a secured location in case there was more than one perpetrator. Due to my actions Orochimaru was not able to obtain at the most the scroll and at least a shinobi that knows the inner workings of this village."

"You didn't have to kill him." Shouted a pink haired woman from the civilian councils side.

"I honestly thought that he was capable of escaping the attack. I mean what kind of ninja gets offed by a genin?"

"Then where is the scroll?" Said the leader of the Hyuuga, Hiashi.

Pulling back his sleeve he applied chakra to the seal on his arm and in a puff of smoke the scroll appeared in his open hand. He tossed it underhand to the Hokage who snatched it out of the air without a second glance.

Unrolling it to the first jutsu he examined it. "This is the scroll, thank you for returning it."

"He's only trying to gain power so he can kill us all. He needs to be executed!" Yelled another council member.

"Is it always this like this?" The defendant said to the Hokage.

"The yelling for no reason or the calls for execution?"

"Execution."

"More or less. Quite frankly it astounds me at the level of fear that is generated by a twelve year old. *sigh*… council members would you please give me any instance in which Naruto has shown any ill will towards Konoha or it citizens."

"He's repeatedly snuck into almost every clan compound and laid traps of a malicious nature." Said the leader of one of the minor ninja clans, a glint of anger shone in his eye from the memories from the various traps and pranks that found their way into his home over the years.

The smiles that the Hokage and the young Jinchuriki wore were those of utter happiness and retribution.

"Can you think of any other instances? …No?" The old man said.

"Now that the issue has been raised, Hokage-sama may I?" Naruto said.

"Just don't rub it in too much." Sarutobi replied.

Naruto reached into his jacket and pulled out a small journal. Opening it up to one of the pages he applied a small amount of chakra and in a large cloud of smoke an old grey filing cabinet appeared. At this point in time everyone in the chamber had a confused look on their face, save for the Hokage and Inoichi Yamanaka who each had a wide grin splitting their face. Opening up the top drawer he pulled out a thick folder. Walking over to the Hokage's seat he layed it on the desk. "This one is for your house and the city in general." Walking back to the cabinet he pulled out as many folders as he could carry and started to distribute them to the person from each of the corresponding clans. "Please don't open them yet."

"What are you doing?" demanded one of the civilian council members.

"Ensuring the future of Konoha, what are you doing? Because to me it looks like you're using your power as an elected official to repress a twelve year old orphan with all your might. And failing badly." He countered without batting an eyelash. The man was left speechless, never expecting that kind of rebuttal. Having passed out his folders to each of the ninja council members Naruto resealed his filing cabinet.

"What about Inoichi?" Shikaku the leader of the Nara said while waking up from his nap, only to go back to his sleeping position.

"He already has his. Now everybody, you may now open your folder." It took exactly 2.4746458574739374 seconds for the collective jaws of almost every ninja in the room to hit the floor. "The Hokage has commissioned me to infiltrate each of your compounds and determine the weaknesses in security. Each one of the folders details possible points of entry, strategic strike points, location of each person's room, along with the location and combination of safes and vaults. In the back of the folder are my recommendations for improving security."

"Naruto what are the ratings." The Hokage said as he perused his own folder.

"The clan with the highest security rating is the Aburame, with their general attitude and with help from their Kikaichū they have an over rating of a B+. The lowest is the Hyuuga, basing the entirety of their security around the use of their eyes, they recieve a D-. If I had wanted to I could have, by myself, killed, maimed, or impared 73% of this villages overall military strength." The only word to accurately describe Naruto at this point would be smug. Looking over the rather worried faces of the clan heads Naruto said. "The entire city is basically under my control, with the proper application of explosives I could pretty much wipe Konoha from the map, so all I ask is for the outcome of my graduation exam to be overturned. In any event Mizuki most likely sabotaged my graduation exam in order for him to get the scroll." _That and I suck at clones._

One of the civilians started. "We have no proof that he interfered with your exam, and the fact still remains you"

"I took out a Chunin, I think I at least should be a genin." Naruto interrupted.

"You were the last place in your class, you don't have what it takes to be a Shinobi of the leaf." Said Koharu Utatane the Hokages advisor.

"Jiraya of the Sanin was last in his class, and is now one of the top three strongest shinobi in Konoha and one of the strongest in the world. Along with being the teacher of the man hailed as the single greatest shinobi to have walked these lands since the Sage of Six Paths." Naruto responded.

"If he did indeed did defeat a chunin then there is no reason that he shouldn't be allowed to at the minimum retake the test. Did you pass the written portion of the test?" Shikaku said while he looked unconscious.

"Yes, it was the practical application of the clone that I didn't pass. By the way I believe that a review of the academy curriculum is needed. The way its set up shows great deal of favoritism to the children from clans."

"I may not be a ninja but even I know that the bushin is the simplest jutsu there is if you can't even"

He never finished as he was interrupted by Naruto making a cross sign and producing a single clone. The type and difficulty of clone he produced was not unnoticed by some of the more senior ninja. The term 'senior' ninjas is referring to every one of the Shinobi clan heads.

"That's enough for me. I move that the exam of Naruto Uzumaki is to be overturned and he is to be graduated from the shinobi academy." Shikaku said. All of the civilian council members voted nay, save for the one man wrapped in bandages, who had a very startling grin adorning his face. The ninja council on the other hand voted almost unanimously yes, while still going through the information on their clans with faces getting whiter as they continued to read on. The only one who did not vote yes a council member from one of the lesser clans. "It's an even split. I'm sorry Naruto but you will have to repeat."

"I vote yes for myself."

"You're not on the council you can't vote." Spat on of the more vocal of the civilians.

"I've done my homework and yes I can, seeing as how I'm the last surviving, loyal member of the Uzumaki clan, among other things. The Uzumaki's ruled the Village Hidden in the Whirling Tides, Konohas sister village, so im basically royalty. And to all of you who know your history you know that the Uzumaki's were related to the Senju. So even if you find some legal loophole that allows you to not recognize me as the Uzumaki leader, then I fall under jurisdiction of the Senju, who in their absence have given their electoral power to the Hokage."

"Don't be ridiculous the Uzumaki's were wiped out during the second war."

"Exactly so that just re-solidifies the fact that I'm the last, making me the leader of the clan."

"This is preposterous you're just an orphan you don't have any proof of what you say."

"Hokage-sama?" The blonde said

_This is going to cause so much paperwork I just know it._ He thought as he rubbed his temples."He is in fact a true Uzumaki."

"My mother's name was Kushina and she is the grand niece or something of Mito Senju, wife of the first Hokage."

"Fine, but he is still underage. He cannot have a seat on the council, he cannot vote."

"Section four, page seven, paragraph two of the Konoha City Laws states and I quote 'Should in the event that a single member of a clan survives, while underage, the Hokage retains the right to appoint a guardian to said clan member to handle all legal and financial matters till such a time when the clan member comes of age.' And end quote." All the ninja were trying to hold in their laughter as a child of twelve verbally manhandled a group of highly educated politicians. Even the normally stoic Hyuuga was straining to uphold his composure. The civilians on the other hand were so shocked that they hadn't even thought of trying to argue against the blonde.

"I would like to recommend Iuka Umino." Naruto said to the Hokage.

"I agree that he would be the best choice at this moment but are you sure you want to do this? Restarting a clan is not a simple matter, even after all this time there could still be enemies of the Uzumaki."

"It's fine, before it's completely reestablished and my clan status is announced to the general public I can disband it. I do have another name to fall on if need be… it is a bit controversial though. And the shear amount of paperwork it would cause would be astronomical."

"What do you mean?" The Hokage was starting to look nervous.

"I would have thought that my demonstration would prove that I'm not stupid, I've known about him for a while, and while I don't agree with how you handled the situation I understand and will not hold it against you or this village. Unless some things are denied from me that I have every right to. But now's not the time to talk about this. It looks like they've come up with something." The Hokage wilted under the stare of the twelve year old boy.

Making a gesture the Hokage called for his attendant. "Go to the hospital and fetch a Iruka Umino, please." He said to the man. The attendant left immediately in a leaf Shunshin.

"Uzumaki…**san**" This time it was a pink headed women who spoke from the civilian side of the room. "to ensure that such a renown clan such as the Uzumaki does not disappear it would be wise to place you and your clan under the supervision of the council, and we would also like to institute a C.R.A. And of course it would be in your best interest if it was the council that selected the women to restore your clan." She gave such a reassuring smile that any normal person would cave to her inviting aura.

_Great they just want to control anything I do get._ "Why the hell would I wanna do that? Can you think of a reason?" He asked the ninja half of the room.

"With his performance so far it does not seem logical that he would be foolish enough to agree." Said the hooded Aburame from the back of the room.

"Correct you are so I shall respond with a tidy Section eight, page forty through forty three, the Third's Law, fifth addendum. 'Any women found in sexual contact with one Naruto Uzumaki are to be sterilized, and placed in prison for a minimum of fifteen years. Any women caught having conceived a child by one Naruto Uzumaki is to put to death. The baby is to be euthanized and its remains are to be donated to science.' Sorry law says no little Uzumaki's running around, I don't want to upset the council by breaking any of their rules. Now if you excuse me I'd rather not be here while the Hokage kills you all in a brutal and most painful way." With that Naruto bolted for the door. Quickly opening the heavy solid oak doors, he jumped outside then slammed it shut. Leaving the sound of the slamming door to reverberate throughout the otherwise silent room.

The guards outside standing outside the door were eying him with raised eyebrows. "The proverbial shit is going to hit the provebial fan." He said to them.

"Please SAY** THAT **_**AGAIN!" **_The Professor said in a voice that at one time reduced the most hardened killers to tears. The killer intent pouring from the room froze everyone inside the building, dead in their tracks, while some of the civilians with weak wills were rendered unconscious.

Ten minutes or so later and after much yelling the killer intent died down.

"I-I think its over. You should go check."

"Me, why me? You should go check, you've been at this longer than I have." The guards argued back and forth. After a few minutes more of arguing they turned to Naruto who was sitting on a bench across the way reading a book.

Catching wind of their intentions Naruto said. "Aw hell no. I'm not even a genin, I'm a civilian you do it."

"Well its clearly your fault." The guard said.

"So what? You've lived a long productive life, it's time to let the next generation have room to grow." The blonde shot back.

"What did you do this time?" A voice asked form down the hall.

Turning his head Naruto saw the limping and heavy bandaged form of Iruka Umino drawing near. "I reminded the council of some of their more… peculiar laws. It seems that the Hokage was not aware about them either."

_How would the Hokage not know about a law they passed, he has to be present during any vote? If he they did it without him then it's a sign of treason oh. _"You attract more trouble than any other living thing in existence." He sat down next to the blonde.

"I wouldn't say attract, more along the lines that it's been my stalker from birth." Stashing his book back inside his jacket he turned to his teacher.

"So my being here is your doing?"

"Yeah I pulled out an old law, and an older lineage to screw with them. I'm now the head of the Uzumaki clan."

"You, a clan head?"

"Well not till I hit sixteen or become a chunin, and I may or may not have recommended you as my representative. That is if you want the job." The scarred teacher just stood there flabbergasted unable to form coherent thoughts. "You could at least pretend to be happy."

His mind finally starting to work again. _A clan, there's no way the council would willingly let him gain any power. Just what kind of intelligence has he been hiding? _ "But why me?"

"You wouldn't screw me over, you have a solid moral foundation, you have a competent head on your shoulders, and deep within you lies a dormant prankster. You don't have to take the job, I have other avenues I can pursue. But if you accept you will have to be present for council meetings. It will also give more power to the ninja portion of the council. What do you say?" Holding out his hand, he waited and hoped for a positive response. _I really don't wanna resort to plan B, and plan C has an eighty percent chance of getting me killed. _ Seeing the hesitation in Irukas eyes Naruto pulled his last trumpcard. "I'll even tell you how to do all paperwork in half the time."

Iruka's hand was grasping Narutos within an instant. "I would be happy to help a student of mine in need."

"That's good to hear. Now being Uzumaki rep gives you some interesting political and diplomatic powers, your going to need to look into them."

Iruka just sat their looking at him as if he was meeting him for the first time and was looking for a proper introduction.

"What?"

"So what happened to the knucklehead? You always seemed a tad bit off but I wrote it off as a personality quick."

"The idiot was just a diversion so I could be me. So my name is Naruto Uzumaki, it's a pleasure to meet you." He held out his hand.

"Iruka Umino." With a firm handshake the two truly met for the first time.

It was soon after that the door to the chamber opened revealing a very pale very shaky council member. "Th-the H-hoka-ge w-ill see you n-now." The man just started down the hall shaking and stumbling all the way.

"Must have been the scapegoat."

"So the council is now in agreement? We will allow the restablishment of the Uzumaki?" The Professor said with a smile that said 'I dare you to say _anything'_.

All the council members quickly nodded their heads in agreement.

"Alright then, we will have a seat added for the Uzumaki clan. Iruka I would like to appoint you as representative of the Uzumaki do you accept?"

Stepping forward the bandaged teacher stood at attention. "I do."

"Good, now please go back to the hospital and rest we don't want to aggravate your injuries."

"Yes Hokage-sama."

"One more thing, with the recent events the team placements are going to be moved back a week."

"Yes sir."

"You are dismissed." Iruka left for the hospital but not before shooting Naruto a wide grin.

"Th-there is still no foundation for this reformed clan, and I doubt that Uzumaki…san knows how to run a clan, he needs to be taught." Shouted one of the civvies.

"I would like to declare the same status as Tsunade Senju, T.P.T.C."

"What does that mean?" The Tsume Inuzuka asked.

"Too pissed to care. I'm a clan of one, well two if Iruka wants to officially join, but at this time there would be no benefit for him to do so, as such I'm only doing this to get my way and screw with you." Dropping the smile that he has been wearing the whole time Naruto continued. "The way you assholes have fucked me over from birth makes me care very little about your opinion of me or about you in general. So I politely ask that you leave me alone."

"You insolent brat show respect to your"

"Betters? Equals? To a bunch of corrupt politicians, who by the way are only interested in lining their own pockets and gaining more power. No thank you, but at such a time when you show me respect I deserve I might start be more cordial."

"Naruto that's enough." Stated Sarutobi he was not about to let Narutos work go to waste due to whatever resentment that the blonde had built up over the years.

"Fine fine. Now since that part of the meeting is over, and we need to move onto shinobi matters I request that the civilians leave, since they have no jurisdiction over shinobi affairs which I now am."

"I agree." Stated Shikaku from his half sleep.

Begrudgingly the civvies started to file out of the chamber throwing hostile glares towards the orange menace. The last to leave was the bandaged man, who instead of a seething glare sent an appraising look. Before he limped out of the room and shut the door.

"Just out of curiosity, how long have you been prepared for this?" Asked Choza Akimichi.

"For a run in with the council? About four years. For wiping the smile off their pretentious faces? My whole life. But back to business, I would have to advise against letting any of your other clan members know about my security job so my cover isn't blown, and in case you would like to use my services again. If you would like to schedule an appointment for an infiltration then please contact me at any time. I will have some business cards drawn up by tomorrow."

"How were able to get the combinations to our safes?" Asked Hiashi.

"I did crack a few of the older ones but for the majority of them it was mostly luck. Either they were written down somewhere," Some of the clan heads had the descency to look embarresed. "or like in your case…you talk in your sleep, alot. It should all be outlined in my recommendations."

"And what assurances do you have that none of this information will fall into the hands of some third party?" Asked Shikaku.

"You have my guaranty that no information about your properties, the workings of your clans, or any other personal information will be divulged at anytime without the express permission of the clan that information pertains to. I have successfully kept this secret from the whole of the village save for the Hokage for the last five years. I am very good about keeping secrets. You will also notice that no property has been stolen or damaged during my infiltrations."

"I would like to know where you get your supplies. Where does a kid even get enough fitted leather clothes for a whole clan?" Asked Tsume with a raised brow.

"I have various sources. I never did get any of those back from your clan. If you want I will take them off your hands for you."

"No thanks I think I look good in it don't you?" She said in a low tone and with a suggestive wink.

Narutos face was doing its best impression of a tomato. "I-I-I don't kn-now what you mean Inuzuka-san." Most of the adults in the room were greatly amused that the person who just a few minutes ago was manhandling a group of very accomplished politicians was reduced to a stuttering mess. Sarutobi and Inoichi being the only two in the room who knew of the young clan heads crush on the Tsume were trying their best at keeping their laughing from escaping their lips.

With one of the most charming smiles that she could muster the leader of the Inuzuka said. "Naaruto-kun please, call me Tsume." That did it, Naruto was now rendered unconscious on the floor of the council chambers.

"Could you please refrain from seducing the boy he's only twelve, you don't want to give him any ideas do you?" Stated the old man with the funny hat.

"Its good for him builds character."

"Indeed, now if there are no more questions I think we should end this meeting. I need to discuss some things with him… once he comes around."

As the remaining members of the council filed out of the room each one had the same thought 'Who is Naruto Uzumaki?'. Well that is everyone eccept for Tsume Inuzuka who was thinking _Revenge is so sweet, that's what you get for putting laxatives in someone's coffee hahaha. Still the brats got stones._

It took him a few minutes to come to but once he was awake the first words out of his mouth were. "Do the Uzumaki have any assets? I wasn't able to find any in my research of the clan but that is to be expected since its been thirty plus years since their fall."

"Everything that wasn't destroyed or stolen was absorbed by the Senju. Well except for the island where the village was located. But all that's left are some ruins and a large forest. But it's all yours for what it's worth."

"What about my parents? They must have had something from the size of the house."

He had been preparing for this conversation for the last twelve years but was hoping that it wouldn't be for some time still. "You know for a fact that the identity of your parents?" He asked.

"Arius told me mom's name. As for dad do you want me to go paint whisker marks on his face?"

"*Sigh* no that wont be neccisary, that man and me are going to have to talk about some things when he gets back. Your father had amassed quite a bit of money from various business ventures. However after his death before I could retake control the council got to a large portion of it and put it to reconstruction of the village. What was left was still a fairly large sum and has been used for your weekly stipend."

"How much is left?"

"At the continuing rate two and a half years. You are responsible enough so ill have it moved to your account."

"Thank you. Where are their graves?"

Leaning his head back the Hokage just stared at the mural on the ceiling. "Like all people who obtain his rank he was cremated. Im sorry but I also had Kushina's body cremated as well. You have to understand the Uzumaki had very unique bodies and I couldn't risk someone stealing her. Both of them are remembered on the Monument of Heros."

"I understand, Uzushiogakure wasn't known as the village of longevity for nothing. Would you tell me about them some time?"

"Of course. But we will have to do it where prying ears can't reach."

"While looking through the scroll I found the kunai. I hope that's all right."

"Its not like anyone can use it, and it belongs to you anyways. You didn't touch the key for your seal did you?"

"No, I don't know enough to even think about using the key."

"Unfortunatly im going to have to cut this short, last nights events have caused an influx of paperwork." Getting up from behind his desk he started to make his way to the door.

"I got things to do to so see yah later jiji." He rushed out of the chamber and into the beginning of his new life."

_Your will of fire burns brightly. _The thought to himself.

Please review, I beg of you.

The reason I had Iruka sit out the fight was because if I had a giant ass weapon sticking out of my back there is no way in hell I could move let alone fight.

I realize that the whole paperwork thing is way overused but I can't stop myself from loving it. I'll try to come up with fresh ways of using it.

Any information above may change at authors whim, or reviewers bitching. I have concerns about this chapter and **I think I need a beta reader. **At least for plot line and character voice problems im having I could care less about spelling and punctuation.If anyone is interested then let me know.


	11. Chapter 11 Set in motion

Super sorry for the multi month wait, blame minecraft.

I is back. Still looking for a beta reader, if you would like the job let me know. I made some small changes to the previous chapter. The changes occur in the council chamber, and in the talk afterwards.

Please enjoy.

Chapter 11 Almost there.

Six days to Team placement.

"I need one hundred of you to go practice chakra control, whatever exercise you want. Do it till you pop…or till you start planning a mutiny."

Naruto was standing in one of the less used training grounds, number forty three to be exact. Number forty three was a relatively small off shoot of trees from the nearby forty four. It was a heavily forested area being that it was so close to the famous Forest of death, but the trees were only slightly larger than normal. Most shinobi had a very strong belief that any area that came into contact with the Forest of Death should be left alone. While it wasn't uncommon for Uzumaki to train in the area it was peculiar for him to be in the company of others. Standing before him was an army of identical blonde genin. The force numbered a whopping two hundred and twenty strong, each and every one wearing the trade mark orange jumpsuit.

Naruto being his thorough self decided to test out the full abilities of his Shadow Clones. It started with simple physical exercises, weightlifting pushups reflexes leg strength run time and such. It eventually got to the point of having a twenty way free for all clone battle while fighting on a wall. After all the clones had dispelled Naruto found that his chakra control went up a bit. So he surmised that more than just memories were transferred when a clone dispelled. Taking this one step further the last Uzumaki decided that using more clones he could cover a broad range of disciplines at one time instead of having to do each individually, and as such leave him to work on something else.

"Yes sir." Shouted a section of the orange army before they ran off in different directions to perform their preferred mode of control exercise.

Naruto had learned earlier that while each clone was an exact copy of him they were somehow fundamentally different from each other. He could create two and have them read the same passage from a book and they would each come away with a slightly different interpretation of the work. The difference while present was very minute and in general had little impact on their performance, for the most part. Having been experimenting with them he came across a clone that had a will of its own and had refused to take orders of any kind. While it was independent it was still connected to him and could be forcefully dispelled. He blamed the phenomenon on puberty.

"I want thirty of you to go over everything in the scroll, see if we can use any of the non suicide jutsu in it…on second thought, I've got you guys so if we can use any of those go for it. Five of you go try the Rasengan steps, but be discreet about it. God knows what would happen if someone caught the 'demon' using the fourth's techniques." As he was assigning jobs groups of clones were breaking off and getting on with their tasks. "Fifty of you Henge into other people and go and procure as much sealing supplies as you can. Then go home and start pumping out as many concussion, explosion, flame, and silencing seals as possible. Fifteen of you go home and start repairing the other apartments to the best of your ability." All that was left of the army were twenty clones and the original.

"We have played our card against the council, ensure that our property stays protected incase of reprisal. Work in tandem with the restoration and sealing crews to apply security seal and privacy seals throughout our property. I want seventeen of you on it. Go." The group of seventeen bounded off to complete their mission leaving only three clones left.

"What do want us to do?" Asked one of the clones.

"We are now officially a Genin so one of you go to the library and go into the Genin section and memorize anything that you find useful. I don't care if it's Taijutsu, chakra theory, or a book on finger dexterity. Just get anything that can help us."

"Yes sir." The clone saluted before he ran off.

Pointing to one of the two clones he said. "You start running I want to see if there is a range to the technique." The clone started running off in the direction away from the village. "And for you I have a very special job. It's time to move onto the next book." Unzipping his jacket and pulling up his shirt he revealed the large seal that spread across his chest. The seal on his chest was the final level of storage seals in his current book. It was a very specialized storage seal that allowed the user to store five items, of virtually any shape or size. The part that made it special was that it could only be operated by the chakra of the person that it was placed upon, and should a portion of the seal be damaged it would still function. It also had the benefit of not producing the standard puff of smoke when something was sealed into or removed from it.

Applying some chakra to the spiral over his heart a large brown leather book fazed into existence. Flipping to the very back he came upon a small paragraph of neatly printed text with a seal under it. The seal was shaped in the form of a right hand.

The text said. "Congratulations! You have read through this entire book and are ready to move onto the next level. But be warned the contents of the next book are dangerous and should only be studied under the supervision of a Seal Master level six or higher. To proceed just activate the seal below. Good luck."

Naruto had been putting off moving to the next book specifically because of the warning. But because of Mizuki's actions it became apparent that he would not easily find help in this village, and seal masters weren't very common to begin with. And if he was to blow past everyone's expectations he would need every advantage he could get. Placing his hand on the seal he channeled chakra into it. Upon its activation the words and diagrams on each of the pages started to warp and twist. After a few seconds they settled into their final form. The cover stayed the brown leather, but the contents were much different. "That was cool I wonder when I get to learn that?" He asked to no one in particular.

Whereas the first volume was about storage seals and most of the derivatives, the second volume was on Enhancement. Enhancement was the portion of the art that dealt with increasing the strength durability or properties of anything that the seal was applied to. The most common uses for enhancement seals were the ones placed on limbs or weights that increased the weight or resistance of the thing that the seal was applied to.

"Go home barricade yourself in the basement and go through the entire thing. Once you're done stash the book in one of the safe areas then make some clones and review the contents." He said before he handed it to his clone.

"What are you going to do?" the clone asked out of curiosity.

"Because the clones don't send back any physical changes i-im going to embrace my youth."

The clone looked on in horror at what its creator was willing to do. "Im so sorry." The clone said while laying a knowing hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"It's for the best." He tried to bolster his conviction with logic. It helped not one bit.

Deep within the forgotten labyrinth of tunnels beneath the village lay a section of that was home to one of the more discreet practitioners of the ninja ways. Danzo Shimura or 'Old War Hawk' as whispered by the average shinobi. Danzo was a survivor of two ninja wars and countless… scuffles. He had been to every corner of the Elemental Nations, visited each of the major villages and sent thousands to the grave all in the name of Konoha. He was the last of the true patriots, those that believed that the betterment of the village came before all else. Whether it be family, friends, or a comrade in need if the wellbeing of the Leaf demanded they be left to die then they were sent to the next life.

Being a patriot through and through he despite the disapproval of the village leadership, was the mastermind behind ROOT. ROOT was a secret organization founded by Tobirama Senju, the Second Hokage. ROOT dealt in black opts, or more specifically missions that the Hokage rejected due to the ethical or political ramifications of such a mission should knowledge of it be made public. Even in a world of ninjas and assassins there were some lines that were not crossed, those types of missions were what ROOT was for. Sarutobi five or so years before his retirement forced Danzo to disband the organization. But in reality all he did was force it to go further underground, having it leave the control of the Hokage completely.

The head of ROOT was now sitting in his office in one of the secret rooms somewhere beneath the city. The room was lit by a single dim light that sat atop the solid oak desk. The low lighting caused many shadows to form leaving multiple hiding places for Danzo's guards to hide in. The walls were lined with shelves containing various scrolls books and files, running a secret organization requires a lot of documentation. Painted upon the only bare wall was the emblem of the leaf village.

On the desk lay the dossier of Danzo's most recent interest. The resident Jinchuriki of Konoha. _That certainly was not expected. _He thought as he reviewed the council meeting that occurred the previous day. According to the records obtained by his agents the new clan head should have been far from able to do that. All previous signs indicated that he had some sort of either brain damage or mental deficit. But now he had to be revaluated. _Eight years ago that man appeared and took him in. Then he started wearing orange and showed a very disturbing lack of intelligence. What a thorough ruse? But what was the purpose?_

Rapping his finger twice on the desk a ROOT agent silently appeared before him. "Observe Naruto Uzumaki."

"Yes Danzo-sama." A muffled and monotone voice replied before the ninja disappeared into the shadows.

"Let us see what you are hiding."

Five days to team placement.

"Fuck you youth!" Naruto yelled to the heavens from his bed. Due to the workout the previous day he was incapable of moving. "Damn it all I'm too sore to even make clones." So with the inability to do anything physical he was forced to go over the things his clones had memorized from the library and the seals book until such a time where he could make clones do it.

After a few hours of laying around he regained the use of his arms and formed clones to perform basic housework. The Shadow Clones were the exact copy of the user, so at the current point in time they were in the same sore state as Naruto. Needles to say none of them were happy about being forced to move.

Creating five more with a gesture and an utterance he had his minions work on step one of the Rasengan.

Four days to team placement.

"One hundred on chakra control, fifty on seal manufacture, twenty on home repair, ten on Rasengan, ten on seal study, five go to the library, two go and help Iruka learn the secret to paperwork, and one pray I never wear spandex."

Three days to team placement.

"Must scratch nose." Naruto said while willing his hand to make the long journey from his side to his face. "Almost there just a liiiiittle fuuuuurther, OHH! Yes that's the stuff." He said victoriously as his nose was scratched. Glancing at the clock he saw it was ten til eleven. "I gotta be at Inoichi's in an hour… I'm going to be late."

One hour and forty minutes later.

"You're late. And limping." The Yamanaka clan leader said from behind his desk as Naruto slowly pulled himself into the room. You could easily tell the physical state of the young blonde by the different expressions on his face and the myriad of muffled grunts that escaped his mouth with each movement. To say the least it was a miracle that he could stand let alone walk halfway across town for a meeting.

Flopping down onto the plush sofa adorning Inoichi's office Naruto let out a hiss of pain as his muscles protested the sudden movement, only to be followed by a contented sigh at being able to sit down. "Try working out with Guy and his clone **all **day, if you can move I'll declare you the high sultan of the land of fire and will be your official mind jutsu practice dummy."

"As wonderful as showing you up and working out with those two would be, I have no desire to be called sultan. I know for a fact you're a little… uh… shall we say unbalanced but I didn't think you were so far gone that you would _actually _train with them." Stated Inoichi.

"Since im starting as a genin I can officially get out from under the council and train with whomever will let me instead of just taking friendly _hints_ of what I should do. I need to get strong enough to keep defend myself from threats foreign and domestic. And there will be threats."

"It is a shame at how they have attempted to stunt your growth, but out of adversity comes opportunity. Their hate drove you to work harder than just about anyone I know, and that drive will send you farther than you or they can imagine."

Naruto sat there considering the truth and implications of the older man's words as he tried to massage away the pain in his thighs. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Why of course."

"If I should ever wear spandex you have permission to melt my brain."

"You didn't even have to ask, it would be unthinkable if more people started to join them, I would put you down for the sake of humanity." He said with a friendly smile. Glancing at the clock adorning the wall the clan leader went through some hand signs and activated the various locking and silencing seals placed throughout the room. It wouldn't do to leave the defenseless bodies of two well-known people without some protection.

"Are you ready for our last session?" The counseling that Naruto was receiving from the mind reader were started by the Hokage to make sure that the Kyuubi was not having a negatively impact on the last Uzumaki's mind. Inoichi was reserved about it at first, but once he got to know the boy did he start to realize who Naruto really was.

Somewhere along the way it became more than just an allotted time to make sure that a monster wasn't being set loose upon the defenseless masses. Naruto found someone that he could show his true self to, even with as close to the Hokage as he was he couldn't truly be himself in front of the old leader. While the mind reader found someone that would accept him as Inoichi the Yamanaka clan head and as a regular man. The Yamanaka, being a shinobi clan of mental manipulators had the ability to change the very essence of a person, had a stigma about them even among the ninja ranks. It is difficult to be friends with a person who can make you think that you are a poodle for the rest of your life. So Inoichi found a person who did not judge him at all, and he didn't seem to think it was odd that his friend was a third of his age.

"Ready able and willing."

"All right then." Flashing through a few very familiar hand signs Inoichi activated his technique. "Mind Dive Jutsu."

"Im pleased with the progress you've made, the walls are still visible but in a year or so you should have complete control of everything." Inoichi stated as he took in narutos mindscape for the last time.

Before Naruto used Outer Breather Inner Peace: Five Paths of Renewal his mind could be likened to a dry sewer. A harsh stony place lacking light or the signs of habitation. But due to the years of taking control of his mind Naruto was able to give shape to his imagination. Before where there lay hard granite floors there now grew lush green grass. The long barren passages and tunnels turned into trails deep within an old forest. Where there once was an ever reaching wall now heard the cascading waters of a crystal clear waterfall. The nonexistent ceiling now shrouded by a rippling mass of a night sky.

"The sky still isn't right though, I can't get it to stay still and I can't get a moon to form. If you look close enough you can still see walls through the trees. But I guess the walls really don't matter, all I want is a clear night sky and with a crescent moon."

"Don't be so hard on yourself this looks amazing, it is so much more detailed than any mind I've ever seen." That was true while he had dived into the minds of the most hardened criminals and the most emotionally disturbed people the world could produce the Yamanaka had never come across a mind as developed as the young Jinchuriki's.

"I guess but I still want that moon." Leading the way through the maze of walking paths and goat trails Naruto headed for the cage of Yu. "Hey fuzzy it's time to decide."

"**Call me fuzzy one more time and I will sing 'It's a Small World' until you crack." **Came a sharp and regal voice from the depths of the cave.

"Don't you appreciate the décor? I designed it to your specifications." The room where Yu was held was no more. Now there was a large meadow leading up to snow topped mountain. At the base of the mountain stood a massive cave who's interior was completely eclipsed by shadows. Where there were once metal bars holding the Kyubi at bay there were now four perfect pillars of volcanic glass, obsidian. A few feet before the bars sat a waist high altar, carved out of the same black glass.

"I didnt know you could change the bars." Stated Inoichi. "I thought they were part of the seal."

"Yeah I did it recently, the bars are part of the seal but the seal isn't actually a cage to hold back the great and powerful Kyuubi. I figured that my mind works with the basic laws of physics, so there is no way that a small piece of paper could work as a lock. So I peeled it off and I was right there was lock a underneath. I just moved it to the dais. I think it looks bad ass."

"**I won't lie, it is an improvement and the amount of room inside the mountain is much better"**

"I feel a but coming on." Naruto mumbled to himself.

"**but until I no longer feel caged I will consider it an unsuitable place to dwell. You could always release the seal and let me out. I promise not to step on you or the village." **There was the sound of movement as the Kyuubi came closer to the entrance of the cave. Its snow white muzzle came into view as the light shifted from some unknown reason. Soon the whole body was visible as it sat there looking as if it ruled the world and was not inside a manmade prison. It was truly a thing of beauty, a sleek muscular body covered in the most dazzling white fur that could ever have been seen. However the smirk it sported was anything but pretty.

"Please stop smiling its creepy, like Inoichi's doll collection creepy." The revulsion that Naruto was feeling was evident by the sick look that sported his face. Foxes were just not meant to smirk.

"They're not dolls they are miniatures and they're not creepy they are therapeutic."

"Then why don't you share your hobby with Ino I'm sure shed love to play dress up with your dollies." Naruto shot back.

"You are contractually bound not to divulge anything you found during your pranks." Inoichi countered with a very useful and very used reminder.

"Stupid ethics, always getting in the way. But while we're on the topic of Ino, you really need to talk to her. She looks like a toothpick, and I bet she couldn't lift fifty pounds to save her life."

The Jonin let out a sigh as he thought of the conduct and drive of his precious little girl. "I've tried but she won't stray from her diet, and why she likes that boy I will never know. Maybe it's the hair? It's got to be because he doesn't talk enough to be a 'badboy'."

Naruto had long been thinking on this subject. Since Inoichi was his friend he did not want Ino's lack of motivation or physical abilities lead to her death or something worse. "Since she's so worried about her looks tell her that if she eats more she'll start to fill out."

Activate protective father mode. "I don't want to hear that from you."

"You've seen my mind I harbor no feeling for her."

"Please you're a boy that's almost thirteen I know what goes on in your mind."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Naruto defended, while a tiny blush adorned his cheeks.

_**Do they have to squabble in front of me every time? Though it is quite funny how the mind reader has gotten attached to the brat. **_

"Really? Tsume sent you to dream land in front of the entire shinobi council. What do you call that?" Inoichi pressed.

"I-isolated incident."

"Then what about that little friend of yours the mphh grmf grnth." Inoichi never finished as Naruto in a flash of speed surpassing human ability clamped a hand over the man's mouth.

"Don't. you. dare." Naruto warned as a dangerous look came into his eyes.

"**No please continue." **

"Why do you want to know?"

"**Blackmail."**

Naruto was dumbstruck he had two beings in his head that wanted to give him a hard time. "Tell her and and and I'll forge a medical file saying you got a vasectomy, and I'll slip it to your wife."

Pure terror overtook the clan head. It wasn't a secret that Setsuna (I couldn't find her name but then again I didn't look very hard.) wanted to have another child. It was also known that anything that endangers that goal would be destroyed with a brutal passion. "You wouldn't."

"I would." Return evil smile.

With no way out Inoichi did the only thing he could, he surrendered. "Truce?"

"Truce."

"**You need more spine. But I have an idea of who it is."**

Not wanting to deal with it anymore the mind reader decided it was time to do the job he was hired for. "I'm going downstairs."

Watching as Inoichi stalked off into the forest on his way to his patients core Naruto turned back to Yu. "Well then I guess on to reason why I'm really here. I've made genin its time to make your choice. Do you want to watch and loan me chakra every once in a while? Or do you want to be left alone. You can always change your mind at any point in time."

The Kyuubi said nothing, as the seconds dragged on into eternity Naruto was beginning to grow worried. Until finally. **"I have decided to watch."**

"Alright then." Shaping his thoughts with his will Naruto created a perfectly round lake within the meadow. It started behind the altar and stretched sixty feet back to the very edge of the tree line. Its waters were crystal clear yet no matter how long or how hard you looked at it you could not see the bottom.

"**Until I'm free once again you are my representative in the mortal world, do not embarrass me." **It said as it laid down and rested its head on its paws and watched the newly formed lake.

Two Days to team placement.

"How is he?" Asked the old man while he smoked from his favorite pipe.

Inoichi Yamanaka took a moment to consider the question before he answered. "While he didn't show it Mizuki's death impacted him greatly, but that's to be expected with anyone's first kill. Though it was unfortunate that it had to be someone he knew. So far he has just thrown himself into training, I talked to him about it and I think he'll be fine once he comes to terms with it."

Letting out a long breath Sarutobi turned to the pictures of the past Hokages on the wall. "That's a relief; it would be unfair to him if all the work he's done were to instantly become useless because of a mental breakdown."

"Yes that show he put on for the council certainly was something. I can't wait till he can take his seat and do it on a regular basis."

"Yes I can hardly wait, the paperwork will double no triple I can just feel it. What of the Kyuubi?"

"It has decided to watch. I am unsure if it's good or bad that it has an interest in Naruto's life."

"I don't know if it has anything to gain from their interaction, he isn't foolish enough to just release the seal. I would think it would want to simply ignore him and wait for a moment of weakness to break free."

One day to team placement.

"Report."

"He is a force of nature."

"Explain."

"Every day he creates a large number of Shadow Clones and has them train on a variety of things or have them run errands while he trains in physical conditioning. He has begun repairing the other rooms within the apartment complex using groups of clones along with placing multiple levels of security and privacy seals throughout his home. He has also been frequenting the shop Higurashi's Bladeworks."

"How many clones?"

"On average two hundred."

"What are they doing?"

"Mostly chakra control, some working on an exercise involving popping a balloon, and what appears to be a number of Kinjutsus. Most likely from the scroll he stole. It appears that he has been unable to complete any of them besides Shadow Clone and Shadow Shuriken."

"Physical conditioning." Danzo's mind was going a million miles a minute. He had greatly underestimated the boy just like the rest of the village. No that wasn't correct during the council meeting that changed everything both the Hokage and the Yamanaka looked as if they knew it was going to happen.

"He is training with Might Guy. After the first day with Guy he woke up at seven and couldn't move for six hours. After the second day with Guy he woke up at seven and it took two hours to regain movement. Then met with Inoichi Yamanaka. I believe his recovery time is being shortened by the influence of the Kyuubi."

"Is there anything else?" A unit with almost limitless chakra and a sharp mind, and he was loyal only to the Hokage. _He would have made the perfect weapon. _Thought Danzo.

"He had a group of clones Henge into civilians and ninja alike then had them purchase scrolls, paper, ink and brushes. All in large quantities, large enough for production of something most likely seals."

"That's enough for now I want the report in three hours."

"Yes sir."

Turning his vision to the emblem of the leaf painted on the wall the ROOT leader said. "What has our little fox been hiding?"

The screeching of a thousand vampire fangirls could not compare to the evil blaring of the alarm clock. A hand streaked out from beneath the white sheets and quickly silenced the offensive beeping. "Who ever created the alarm clock must surely be roasting in the seventh circle of hell." A tired voice said from beneath the plain bedcovers. Pulling the sheet down just enough to see the clock face Naruto read the time. "Damn it I'm going to be late."

A few minutes later Naruto arrived at the entrance to the academy. Looking up at the squat building it truly sunk in. "Today is the day my future is decided." Making his way through the entrance and down the halls he came to the room that he 'studied' in for the last year. The sliding door was half open letting him see into the room. The room was occupied by all the graduating students leaving the room roughly two thirds full. The newly minted genin were gathered in their various cliques conversing with one another. In the front of the room Kiba Inuzuka was attempting to hit on Hinata Hyuuga, and failing spectacularly. The girl just responded the same way she had been for the last year with meekly letting the boy know that she had someone she liked and as such wasn't interested.

Ino Yamanaka Sakura Hurano and the rest of the official Sasuke fan club were having a shouting contest over who most deserved their precious Sasuke-kun. Meanwhile the object of their affection and argument was busy trying to get them to spontaneously combust through willpower alone. They seemed to be very inflammable but it did little to hinder his attempts to see them burn.

Located in the middle of the room Shikamaru Nara was busy sawing logs as his best friend Choji Akimichi was decimating a bag of potato chips.

There were also ten or so other students spread throughout the room talking with friends and classmates.

Towards the back of the room Shino Aburame was quietly observing the whole scene while trying to determine the two people that he would most likely be paired with. From his point of view there were very few who he could see himself working with.

But all that was nowhere near as important as the sole missing person. "Hmm Iruka is running late…I has evil idea." He did indeed have an evil idea. "Henge."

"Good morning class." Iruka said as he walked into class for the final time.

"Good morning sensei." The class chorused in reply.

Positioning himself in the front of the room as he always did when preparing to launch into a speech about some old dead guys. "Today is the start of your careers as a shinobi. I did have a speech planned…but I figured that you would like to get right to it. So let me just say this I'm proud of each and every one of you and I am sure you will be outstanding shinobi." A single tear escaped his left eye at the prospect of this new graduating class. "So team placements are as follows. (Insert random names that have no bearing on the story.) Team five will be Sakura Hurano" Sakura perked up at the sound of her name. "Sasuke Uchiha."

"YES! Ha take that Ino true love concurs all!" _Alright step one is accomplished now when Sasuke sees how awesome I am he will fall right into my arms, CHA! _ Sakura said and thought as she did a little dance to celebrate being on a team with her beloved. Sasuke could only shiver in despair.

"And Ino Yamanaka."

"HA! Take that billboard brow! Me and Sasuke are destined to be together." While all the other members of the Sasuke fan club were looking on in anger and jealousy all the boys of the room were looking on in pity and understanding for the last Uchiha. The Uchiha himself was one step away from killing himself, unfortunately his need for revenge won out.

"Team six will be Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi" Choji had a wide smile since he would be paired with his best friend. "and Kiba Inuzuka."

_Damn it I wanted to be on the same team as Hinata. _Thought Kiba.

"Could have been more troublesome." The Nara mumbled from his half sleep.

"Team seven will be Shino Aburame, Hinata Hyuuga."

Hinata had not been having a fun week. With having her crush fail the exit exam and lose all possibility of them being on the same team, she was rather depressed. She was hoping that even if they weren't on the same team she would confess to the blond once they made genin and hopefully become a couple. But now her plans were in ruins and she would never get to deflow… date the energetic boy. And to top it all off she was still being hit on by Kiba.

"and Naruto Uzumaki."

The shock of the impossible words sent all the blood to the young heirs head and as soon as she hit tomato red she promptly passed out.

"Naruto can't be on a team he didn't graduate!" Screamed a silly pink headed girl.

"Oh he graduated due to special circumstances, and actually he'll most likely be fast tracked to Chunin." At this point the Uchiha was almost boiling over in anger. Not only was he put on a team that comprised his two most hated enemies but the dope the last place of the class was surpassing him the prodigy the genius.

It was at this point in time that Akumaru, the familiar of Kiba, was trying to get his partners attention. There were a few whimpers and barks exchanged between the two before Kiba jumped to his feet. "Hold on a minute. You're not Iruka you're Naruto!"

In a poof of smoke Iruka was gone and standing in his place was Naruto Uzumaki. Throwing up his hands in surrender he said. "Well you got me, about time to I was waiting for either you or Shino to discover me."

In fact Shino discovered that it was Naruto the very instant that he stepped into the room but figuring that interrupting one of the blondes pranks could be cause to be a sole target of a prank and fearing for his mental wellbeing decided not to bring up the imposters identity.

There were no words to describe how elated the Uchiha felt at this moment, his being on the same team with those two monsters were all just one of Naruto's jokes. The thought of having to actually be on a team with either one of them was just too frightening to think about.

"But it wasn't even Kiba it was Akamaru, I wonder who's the brains of the pair." Looking the dog straight in the eye with a serious face the prankster said. "Now be sure to keep Kiba on a short leash and out of trouble he's not the sharpest tool in the shed." Akamaru barked in acceptance of his appointed job.

"Hey!" Yelled Kiba in rebuttal.

"Naruto baka what are you doing here this is only for graduates!" Screeched the pink harpy.

Heading to the back of the room Naruto plopped himself down in a chair close to the window. "I told you the truth I graduated due to special circumstances. Or didn't you notice the headband?"

"So that means I'm really on the same team as Sasuke?" Sakura said hoping the team placements were true like Naruto's passing.

"Hell no. There's no way that they would put the top two students on the same team that would make it to strong and leave one of the other teams weakened. They're most likely going to put the first and last place…together. Damn it." All of Naruto's hopes for the future, whatever they may be, were dashed at the realization that he would most likely be put with the Uchiha. He could very well see the Hokage pairing him with the emo as revenge for creating more paperwork than ever before.

"That's enough Naruto." Stated an authoritative voice. As all the occupants of the class turned to the new addition to the class the saw the real Iruka Umino.

"Did the dobe really pass?" The ever talkative Uchiha asked.

The class was stunned it was very rare for the black eyed boy to say anything let alone ask a question.

"Yes. There was a recount of his score and it showed that he passed, barely." Iruka responded.

"Really?" Spoke up Shikamaru from his half sleep.

"No I offed one of the teachers and they thought it would be a better idea to push me through than have me hanging around little kids." Naruto said while leaning back in his chair having precariously balance on two legs. "But actually I blackmailed the ruling powers of the village into letting me pass." If only they knew.

"Your too stupid for either of those." Screeched the blonde harpy.

"Now that's enough everyone get to your seats so I can begin." There was the sound of shuffling and whispers as the graduating students got to their seats. "I would just like to say how proud I am of each and every one of you. I am sure that all of you will go out and become outstanding ninja, and a few of you may even become legends. Just remember you are a shinobi of Konoha and that the will of fire burns brightly within you all. Now for the team placements.

Team One, Team two, Team Three, Team Four, Team Five, Team Six"

So far eighteen of the new ninja had been grouped leaving nine left. After having announced the sixth group Iruka drew out the announcement for the seventh team. "Team seven lead by Hatake Kakashi will consist of Uzumaki."

"Oh joy." Naruto had done his homework on every jonin that had been in the running for a spot as Jonin-sensei. Needles to say the Copy-ninja was not high on his list of preferred teachers.

"Uchiha." Iruka said with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Fuck me." Mumbled the voice of Naruto as his face was buried in his hands in an attempt to block out reality.

"Hn." The quiet boy grunted out as though it made no difference to him.

"And Hurano."

"TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL!" Sakura said as she held up two fingers in victory.

"Fuck" Thump "me" Thump "sideways." Thump. Naruto said as he banged his head against the desk repeatedly.

"Hn." _What have I ever done to deserve this? _Thought Sauske in true horror. He wasn't so much concerned about the orange wonder, he saw Naruto as a buffoon and figured he wouldn't get in his way. The banshee on the other hand was a different matter all together. While having no skills whatsoever she would be no help in anything the team did. Then there was her personality the endless fawning and hugging and love letters and stalking… it was going to be hell.

Having achieved his entertainment for the day Iruka hurried through the rest of the teams. "Team Eight lead by Kurenai Yuhi Aburame Hyuuga Inuzuka. Team Ten lead by Asuma Sarutobi Ino-shika-cho. Your new squad leaders will come pick you up in a few minutes, so use this time to get to know your new teams better."

In the instant after Iruka had finished speaking Naruto was on his knees pulling at the hem of his once teachers vest with tears in his eyes. "Iruka how could you? I got you a cushy job with good pay and benefits, and gave you the chance to influence the way things were taught here. How could you betray me?"

Patting the top of his former student's head Iruka knelt down to eye level and in a calm voice said. "Naruto it was the Hokage who decides the teams I had no part in their choosing." That was a blatant lie. As one of the teachers that had worked with them Iruka knew each students skills and personalities. So his words carried a lot of weight when the Hokage was deciding the teams. "You know I would never do this to you." R_estoring a clan requires more paperwork than you could possibly imagine. Even the secret to paperwork barely helps, I can only make so many clones. _Iruka thought evilly_._

Groveling had failed him he was running out of options. "But but"

"No buts Naruto if you have a problem you can take it up with the Hokage. Now go over there and sit with your team." Iruka said pointing to the emo as he was trying and failing to ignore the advances of a certain pink haired girl.

The way that Naruto dragged himself over to his new team was quite honestly one of the single most pathetic sights imaginable. His head hung low as though he had given up on life his once sparkling blue eyes had now become dull and lifeless. The hope he showed in his eyes as he turning back to Iruka to see if it was all a trick died at the sight of Iruka's smiling face. Total defeat.

"This is utter bull crap."

"What are you going on about now?" Sakura said in an annoyed voice. The object of her desire had once again shot her down. But soon he would change his ways and embrace her as his true soul mate. Right?

Everyone within the room was grouped together by their teams. For those like team eight who never really associated with each other it was a good chance to learn more about the people that they would be working with for the foreseeable future. Of course there were also teams like Ino-Shika-Cho who grew up together and as such didn't need to become better acquainted. Then there were the others, the teams comprised almost entirely of genin with civilian backgrounds. "Look at these teams. Half of them look made to fail, some of the other groups look…half decent. While the other ones are comprised of clan heirs and are made to succeed. This room looks like it was organized to fail people who don't have a clan backing."

"No they aren't." Sakura said.

"Yes they are, take ours for example. One third fail two thirds clan heir."

"I'm not a clan heir, only Sasuke is."

"Hn."

"No you're not but I am. I recently procured a spot on the ninja council."

"What when did you do that!"

"Last Friday, hasn't your mother been in a foul mood this whole weak? Well I'm the reason why."

Enlightenment shone upon the face of the rosette. Crossing her arms over her chest it became apparent that anger had replaced amazement. _How dare he surpass Sasuke._ She thought to herself.

"Don't look at me like that I'm only looking out for my best interests." Seeing that the anger wasn't abating at all Naruto switched gears. "Fine I'm sorry that I made you mother mad." The anger continued. "What is that not why you're mad?" Scratching his head in thought he considered her anger. It came to him. "OOOOh this is about the Uchiha. He could have a spot on the council at anytime but then he would have to give up control of the police forces to the Hokage."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted in agreement. It was not secret to him that the only way to take a council spot for himself was by giving up the Uchiha's control of the village police forces. For a single clan to have political and military power within the village would greatly destabilize the Hokge's control.

"Even if he wasn't one of the last Uchiha this team would still be overpowered. We've got the rookie of the year who will most likely excel in Ninjutsu, the brainiac who's second place overall, and me for everything else the support. We have the most powerful team in the room, I don't like it one bit." He said angrily. "Well whatever wake me when late ass gets here." Naruto's head took a dive and met the tabletop with a thump.

"Naruto?" The boy was asleep before he hit the table.

Hours later

"HES LATE/CHA!" Inner and outer Sakura roared in unison.

Disrupted by the loud noise Naruto rejoined the land of the awake. "That was a good nap." Turning to the Uchiha who was still looking out the window with a scowl on his face Naruto said. "Did you fill your brooding quota for the day?"

"Don't talk to Sasuke blah blah blah." Sakura started but was skillfully ignored by the two males in the room.

Just then the door to the classroom slid open and a man with tall silver hair stepped into the room. He was dressed in dark blue ninja pants with a kunai holster strapped to his right thigh and his ankles wrapped in tape. On top he wore a long sleeved dark blue shirt with a spiral on the shoulder. Over the shirt he wore an olive green vest with the Konoha leaf on it. He wore a mask that hid the bottom half of his face while a hitae covered his left eye. "I would have thought that you would have tried to pull something."

"Too troublesome." The blonde said waving it off. "I expected it that's why I had a nice nap."

"On the roof in five minutes or I drop you from my team." He said before he disappeared in a cloud of grey smoke.

Two members of team seven were making their way to the door and presumably to the roof while the third sat still at his desk. "Aren't you coming?" Asked the Uchiha when the blonde made no move to leave.

"I'll meet you there." He said before once again lied his head down on the table.

With a shrug the Uchiha and his fan girl left the room and made their way to the roof. But not before there was an audible pop from the room they just exited.

"How'd you beat us here?" Sakura asked as she spotted Naruto sitting in a meditative position with his eyes closed on the roof.

"L33T ninja skills." The orange wonder said without moving at all.

"Whatcha doin?" Asked the voice of their new sensei before he appeared in a cloud of smoke. In actuality Kakashi discovered the blonde already on the roof in deep meditation when he arrived via Shunshin. He was still wondering how he arrived before him.

"Internal housekeeping. You can't imagine the junk that piles up." The blonde answered.

With a shrug of acknowledgement the leader of team seven joined his new subordinate. Gesturing for the other two to join Kashi had them sit in a circle. "Why don't we introduce ourselves? Hopes dreams goals, stuff like that."

"I don't understand what do you mean?"

"Really?" He asked the girl in amazement. "I'll go first, Naruto Uzumaki age twelve. By the time I make Chunin or turn sixteen I will be made the Uzumaki clan head. I like to read, play pranks, I like bread and anything you can eat with bread. I also love anything that causes more paperwork to pile up on the Hokage's desk. I despise ramen with an unbridled passion, I don't like arrogant pricks who think they are better than everyone because of their name, I hate people who think that they can get along in the world by riding the coattails of others, and if I had my way I would outlaw the color orange. For the future all I want to do is rub how awesome I am in the face of this cesspool we call Konoha."

"When did the Uzumaki clan get reestablished?" Kakashi asked.

"Out of that whole thing that's what you picked out?" *sigh* "It happened last week didn't you hear about it?"

"I got back two hours ago, I was out of town on a mission. Alright you next pinky."

"I'm Sakura Hurano I like"

"Sasuke Uchiha, I want to jump Sasukes bones, in the future I wish to become Mrs. Sakura Uchiha. I hate Ino Yamanaka and Naruto Uzumaki. I have no skills worth mentioning. Does that about sum it up?"

"Wha?"

"Now Sasuke, one of the last three Uchiha, youngest son of the previous clan head. Hasn't unlocked any levels of the Sharingan. Doesn't like many things hates many things wants to kill his older brother Itachi, and restore his clan to power." He said from off the top of his head. His two teammates were giving looks that blended anger and confusion, but none the less left them speechless. The Jonin of the group however was giving him an appraising look through his only visible eye, he too remained silent. Not letting their silence go to waste he continued on. "Copy ninja Kakashi Hatake, total bounty 1,500,000. Student of the Fourth Hokage, son of the White Fang, one of the top five strongest ninja in the village. Retired ANBU Captain under the mask Inu. Has an addiction to icha icha paraside. Has the dog summon contract. And is reported to be the eternal rival of Might Guy."

"Wha?" Guess who.

"Understanding is key to any situation. I studied everyone in the class and found what makes them tick. I figured it would be best to know who my teammates were before I even knew who they were. I know you, now do you know me?"

"What are you saying baka!" Sakura yelled before trying to take a swing at the source of her anger. As the fist drew close Naruto zeroed in on it and leaning back from his meditative position he tilted his head to the left allowing the attack to completely miss. Sakura expecting resistance from Naruto's head was completely overextended leading her to become once with gravity. The result was her laid out on the ground.

Readjusting so he was back to his full and upright position Naruto continued on as if nothing had happened. "Was any of that wrong? I bet I didn't get a single fact wrong. I can keep going but its starts to get more personal."

Sakura getting up and holding her nose as it had most likely been a casualty of the fall stood up and with righteous fury burning in her eyes advanced on the Uzumaki. She was however stopped by Kakashi by the proper introduction grabbing the back of the girls shirt and pulling her back. The Uchiha who had been watching for the whole time wasn't angry about the introduction it was accurate to a tee and saved him the hassle of having to do it himself. But on the other hand the way that the blonde effortlessly avoided the punch was definitely not something Naruto-esk. "Now now calm down while that was rude of Naruto it seems that he only got one thing wrong."

Narutos eyes widened at what the Jonin had said. He took great pride in his information gathering skills. "Wait what? No that's all accurate data."

Putting on what could only be considered a smile the masked man gladly knocked his new student down a peg. "No it isn't there are only two Uchiha's left. Shige was trampled by a horse a little over two weeks ago he didn't make it. Didn't you hear?"

_Shit I go through the all the trouble of saving the little bastard and he goes and dies! _"No I hadn't heard." Naruto said through gritted teeth.

"Neither have I." Sasuke said dangerously. It was common knowledge that not all of the clan was wiped out and that there were three loyal Uchiha left, but the news that one of them was killed should have been gossip of the town.

Sakura felt bad for the Uchiha, having almost the entirety of his clan wiped out by his brother years before. Now he had lost another tie to his past. Gazing up at the blue sky she vowed to help make the Uchiha a powerful clan again. "Is that an owl?" Asked Sakura.

Caught by surprise by the odd question everyone turned to look where Sakura was pointing. There indeed was an owl. Owls were once indigenous to the Land of Fire but due to the large amount of predators that invaded the area after the forests around the village were created they had been wiped out.

"I think it's coming towards us." Sasuke said as the bird changed its path and started descending to their position. It had entered a steep dive and was coming in fast.

"Get down!" Yelled Kakashi. As they all hit the deck the owl back winged and came to a complete stop on the railing by the edge of the roof.

_The hell. _They all thought at once. The bird was three feet tall with brown feathers and white spot adorning its torso. Atop its head were a set of horn like feathers giving it an impressive visage. In one of its talons it carried a small scroll.

The group pushed themselves up off the floor and dusted off their fronts. "I didn't think owls got that big." Naruto said

"They don't." Kakashi answered, while eyeing the bird carefully. "Are you a summon?" He asked the new arrival.

The gird just cocked its head to the site and stared at them. After a few seconds it lifted its talon holding the scroll and let go, the parcel dropped to the ground. It turned its head back and spread its impressive wingspan then disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"It was a summon."

Sasuke being the closest to the dropped item picked it up and examined the text on it. The scroll read 'Naruto Uzumaki, Land of Fire, Konoha'. "It's a scroll addressed to you." He said before tossing it to the blonde who snatched it out of the air.

"Who the hell uses an owl to send mail?" Naruto mused out loud before pocketing the scroll. "Now why don't you tell us about the test?" He said as thought he was unfazed by the sudden appearance of the messenger.

"How do you know about that?" Kakashi asked. He was quite interested in the owl summon the owls were not a known summon and who would Naruto know that had access to them. Just another piece in the Naruto puzzle.

"I got friends in the older class, they didn't say what the test was, they did have a haunted look in their eyes when they were talking about it though. But apparently if we don't pass we get sent back to the academy. I've done some digging and it seems that of the academy students who make genin roughly sixty percent of them get sent back or drop out all together."

_He has done his homework._ "The test will be tomorrow at seven Am training ground seven don't be late or I'll fail you. Also don't eat before hand or you will throw up. Now if there isn't anything"

"I have something that needs to be rectified." Naruto said as a dangerous look came into his eyes. "I don't know what these two can actually do. So, if only there was a youthful person overflowing with the power of youth that could show you the errors of your most unyouthful ways, then maybe your flames of youth could burn as fiercely as though they were youth incarnate." The evil grin he was sporting had never been known to exist in the world of the living before.

Kakashi's unique eye smile was quickly replaced with a look of utter horror. "Naruto, I hate you." He then disappeared in a smoke Shunshin.

"What are you talking about Naruto baka! That made no sense!" Sakura screeched. _What could possibly scare Kakashi sensei off?_

"I figure you need to get into shape…ah here they are now." Bolting to his feet he adopted a face of worry.

In a rush of wind and dust two figures appeared. The tallest one was wearing a green spandex body suit, a standard jonin vest, his hitae at his waist, and orange leg warmers. He was sporting a bowl shaped haircut that reflected an unusually large amount of light. The shorter one was virtually a clone of the bigger one. The only difference was his height and lack of a jonin vest.

"Naruto what's the problem? We heard some very unyouthful things." The larger of the two said with genuine worry on his face.

At this time the blonde was crying fiercely. "Thank god Guy sensei I feared that my call would go unnoticed. I fear that the flames of youth of my two teammates are almost extinguished, I don't know that my own flames of youth would be enough to rekindle their flames of youth. I tried, I did, but I am still unused to the ways of youth and my abilities by myself could not help them. But with you here we can band together and save them. Please Guy sensei you and Lee must help them or else I fear that their flames of youth will go out forever."

Both the green clad figures were brought to tears at the devotion of young Naruto in his effort to help his teammates. "Of course it is our duty to help your teammates.!" Yelled both of the Taijutsu freaks at once.

Said teammates were at this time so confused and stunned at the two green clad monsters standing before them that they had no time to try and understand the gibberish that their team mate was spewing. As Sasuke and his fearsome emo powers were just starting to overcome the shock of their arrival the two green men jumped into action. They effortlessly picked up the two stunned members of team 7 and sprinted off leaving a trail of dust behind.

"They are going to kill me later… that is if they can move. Hehe I'm so evil I should get an award." He said to himself before he set off after his new teammates.

Three hours later at some random training ground.

"I am an Uchiha, an elite how dare you subject me to something like that! I will kill you once I regain the ability to move." Said the Uchiha as he was lying face down on the ground. His clothes were in tatters and his arms were covered in cuts and bruises of various sizes. Sakura was in a similar position a few feet away but do to her rather low level of physical fitness was so worn out she didn't even have the ability to speak.

While duck hair and pinky were unable to move because of the rekindling of youth Naruto was merely out of breath. "That was just one of their light exercises just be lucky you didn't have to see… oh nevermind." Forming a cross sign a replica of the blonde came into existence. He and his clone rushed over to his fallen teammates and picked up their heads and pried open their eyes subjecting them to the scene that was about to unfold.

"Lee!"

"Guy Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy Sensei!"

Their yelling culminated in them coming together in the most manly man hug of pure spandexy manliness that there ever was, that is if it weren't for the copious amounts tears pouring down their faces. As soon as they made contact the most powerful Genjutsu in the history of the world was activated. A golden sunset formed in the air behind them, a gentle breeze carrying the scent of the ocean wafted through the air followed by a surge of water breaking over unseen rocks. The cry of gulls could be heard above the crash of the waves.

_It's so wrong, I c-cant look away. _"I have decided to kill you in the slowest possible way there is. Your pain will be stretched out for years. The amount of pain you shall endure will strike fear into the soul of every god and demon in existence. You are so lucky I can't move." Sasuke said as he was forced to watch the scene unfold.

"Sasuke-kun shouldn't have to watch something like this. Y-your just jealous of him!" Shouted bubblegum while still in the clutches of Narutos clone.

"The funny thing is even if he had the physical ability to close his eyes, which he doesn't, he would still see the Eternal Sunset Genjutsu it can't be stopped. But I have a limit to how long I can watch." Letting go of his new teammates Naruto and his clone started debating on the best way to end the horror. "Oh I know" Evil smile had returned. "Sasuke you're being most unyouthful." Said the clone before it dispelled itself.

The genjutsu came to a screeching halt and the green twins turned on the down Uchiha like a wolf would turn on a wounded deer. "There are no words for the amount hate I feel towards you right now." Said the Uchiha.

Deciding to take pity on the poor fools he said. "Fine you big baby I'll end it, now don't say I never gave you anything." Turning to the two members of team Guy Naruto halted their advance on the downed Uchiha. "Guy sensei I believe that they just need some time to think about what you've taught them. Tomorrow is our genin test, if they are not youthful by then I will let you know, and we can try more extreme measures."

Giving a thumbs up and a disturbingly shiny smile the jonin said. "Brilliant my youthful friend, they shall stoke their fires so that they may burn brightly!"

Summoning two clones he handed his teammates off. "Take them home, and once your done go work on control or something."

"Yes boss." Both clones said before they went off to escort their person home.

_With the security contract and my parents money I have some disposable income, I think it's about time I got Lee something. _"Guy-sensei." Naruto called out to the fitness freak who was currently attempting to do a thousand sit ups.

"Yes?"

"Can we talk in private?"

"What for?"

"It concerns Lee." The Jonin adopted a serious face. Anything that has to do with his prized student demands a serious face. "I'm going to Tenten's and getting a few things. I was thinking about getting him something…as a thank you for being my sparring partner, and for being my friend." _Official ass kicker is more like it. _"And I wanted your opinion on what to get him."

"The bonds of friendship are so beautiful!"

"I was thinking maybe gauntlets, since his knuckles are so chewed up and he doesn't need to make hand seals. But then I thought about bracers or even shin guards. But you're his teacher and I don't want my gift to be something that goes against your teachings."

"You're so thoughtful, a truer friend has never been found." The grown man cried due to the shear amount of friendly youth. "Shin guards would interfere with his weights. And he's on the attack more than he is defending so bracers aren't necessary."

"So maybe short gauntlets or reinforced gloves?"

"I had wanted him to choose when and how he decided to walk a path that I had not layed out for him. But I guess a little push wouldn't be bad."

"You didn't want him to be a clone?" Naruto was actually stunned. No matter how in debt or how thankful someone was he didn't think anyone would emulate that hideous green jumpsuit in.

"No, his appearance is his way of showing thanks to me, the fact that he can pull it off is just a lucky surprise, but what I really want him to be is his own man. Until he is ready to embrace who he must become I shall train him until his YOUTH EXPLODES!"

"Youth!" Shouted the mini version as he was drilling punch after punch into a tree.

"Okay, you go ahead and turn him into a little green titan, I'll get him a simple set of gauntlets, that way he can go from there." _Just when you think there's a normal side to him you see that it's just covering up even more insanity._

Higurashi's Bladeworks

Walking in through the front door he spied his favorite panda styled Kunoichi manning the store. "Hey bun-chan." He said as per his usual greeting. There was the ring of metal and sounds of seven objects imbedding themselves in wood. Naruto found himself pinned to the door by seven different weapons. A dagger piercing the left leg of his pants. A katana pinning his right pant leg. A Morningstar pinning the left side of his jacket. Windmill shuriken piercing the right side. A hatchet pinning his left hand above his head. A bladed boomerang holding his right hand firmly by his side. And a Kusari-gama embedded a few inches south of his groin with its chain leading back to the hand of the girl who threw it. "Hey now those things are sharp and have the ability to alter my anatomy permanently." Naruto warned. Even if he was hit with all those he would still most likely survive and be healed within a few days, he just didn't want to think about the pain they would cause especially the last one.

"Well then don't call me _bun-chan._" Tenten advised while smiling innocently. "Call me either Tenten or Mistress Tenten Goddess of War." She said playfully.

"Full of yourself aren" A kunai went whizzing through the air and imbedded itself deep within the door leaving a small cut in Naruto's cheek. "Yes Mistress Tenten Goddess of War." _Should have never introduced her to Anko. _He thought to himself. "Can you please get me down now?"

This was a fairly common occurrence, Naruto would enter the shop in same manner each time say something about her hair or clothes then find himself pinned to a door or wall, then beg to his assaulter to let him down. It's completely harmless and completely safe, for ninja anyway.

After literally ripping Naruto from the wall and collecting her weapons from the heavily reinforced door Tenten sat herself behind the counter and proceeded to sharpen her kunai. "Now what can I do for you today?"

"I ran into some money so I'm now replacing the 'ORANGE' and getting a set of gauntlets for Lee. I'm actually having a burning of the 'ORANGE' party and all of team Guy is invited even Yardstick."

The first time that Naruto had met Neji Hyuuga the boy just brushed him off and refused to even say anything to him. It was later discovered from one of the pale eyed boy's tirades on fate that it was unacceptable for someone from the elite Hyuuga clan to be associated with the village pariah. Naruto had noticed that the Juken user acted as if he had a stick shoved up his ass. So from then onward he was nicknamed 'Yardstick', for the size of the stick that was surmised to be the source of the Hyuuga's unpleasantness.

"So this means that you won't act like an emotionally starved dumbass anymore? You have no idea how many times I've wanted to beat the idiot out of you." She had gotten to the point where the entire assault was planned out to even the smallest cut.

After having met the previous year at the academy Naruto Tenten and Lee each found something in the other two that allowed them to become close friends. Lee found two people who despite lacking the title genius or belonging to a shinobi clan still tried strived to be the best. Tenten found two people who, unlike most in their class, gave it their all towards being a shinobi. And Naruto found someone who wasn't afraid to be friends with him. The fact that one of them was the daughter of some of his only friends had no sway in his become friends but it didn't hurt.

"Orange boy shall hopefully never see the light of day again. Now could you please show me your selection of gauntlets?"

Tenten gave him a dead stare before saying. "You did get permission from sensei, right?

"Yes yes, captain crazy even endorsed the idea." Naruto assured her.

Leading him deeper into the store towards the armor section Tenten passed a few customers who were browsing the wares. "So if you're giving him gauntlets what are you getting me?" She said while throwing back and amused look.

"Well for the Goddess of War, the only thing suitable would be a legendary blade. But I can't afford it on my budget, will you take a rain check?"

*Sigh* "If I must."

"Hold on." Stopping at the shinobi wear Naruto put his fingers in a cross formation and without a word a Shadow clone poofs into reality. "Go try on suitable clothes."

"Yes boss." The clone said before it went off and started looking through the clothes racks.

Taking in the sight of a solid clone meatball head was impressed. "You can make clones now? And solid ones too, a few days ago you couldn't make anything but road kill since when have you been able to do that?"

"Since the day of the exam." Naruto answered.

"Not going to tell me?"

"I'm not allowed, but let's just say that it's why you won't be seeing Mizuki hanging out at the academy anymore. And why I reformed an extinct clan." Recalling his actions of the last week he is reminded that he has yet to deliver on a promise. Forming another clone with his forbidden jutsu Naruto gives it an order. "Go home and pick up the delivery."

"Yes boss." Said the clone before it headed towards the front of the shop and presumably home.

"Why do they call you boss?" Tenten asked while heading over the armor section.

"Probably an ego thing on my part." Replied Naruto as he looked over the various gloves and gauntlets on display. "Now which one of these do you think would be best for our friendly green bean?"

Looking over the items on display and comparing them to Lee's fighting style. "Well, definitely shorter ones that don't interfere with his wrappings. They also have to be Guy level durable. Either of these two would be fine."

The two that Tenten pointed out couldn't have been more different. The first were made of durable metal. When worn they would encased the entire hand but leave the joints of the fingers flexible. The knuckles were ridged to focus more energy into smaller areas. There was a four inch metal guard that covered the wrist and stabilized it allowing for more powerful punches. On the back of each one was an etching of the villages symbol, the spiral leaf. The other pair were of a much more flexible design being that they were made of leather and didn't encompass the whole hand. A solid metal plate covered the back of the glove to protect the top of the hand. A firm leather strap went under the glove to be held in the palm. Around the wrist was a thick leather band with a mounted metal plate that supplied stability and protection. A thick piece of hardened metal covered the fingers up to the first knuckle. Four spikes adorned the metal plate giving the gloves terrifying attack power. (Similar to Alex Armstrong gloves)

While the first set gives complete overall protection and added weight with each punch they were a little on the heavy side, and with the fingers being completely incased it would make picking up small items difficult. On the other hand the leather and metal gloves gave some protection some stabilization a lot of attack power and were fairly light. "Ill take these" He selected the lighter leather gloves. Looking at the unblemished plate on the back of the glove Naruto decided he could splurge a little. "Could I get an etching on these?"

"Sure what would you lik...flames of youth?" She said with an arched eyebrow. Being on the same team as the two green menaces gave her a startling insight to the two things that occupied their minds. Flames of youth, and training. Letting out a sigh of surrender she picked up the gloves and took them to the back to get etched.

Just then the clone came out wearing a new set of clothes. It was a vast improvement, well having a bucket of black paint dumped on him would have been a vast improvement. No longer was he wearing the ORANGE and looking like a living target, before Naruto stood a respectable ninja. Where there was once a hideous bulky orange jacket there was now a grayish green short sleeve shirt with a hood. Instead of the tattered pants there were now a dark blue shinobi pants wrapped at the ankle with black cloth. There was now a kunai holster adorning each leg, and a black belt with various pouches settled around his hips. Dark green fingerless gloves were worn on each hand.

"I'm going to get seven sets then head home." The clone interrupted wanting to get to its reason for existing. "Probably a coat or two also."

"Okay good, but do you remember what Kakashi was wearing?"

"Yes why?" Naruto stood there with an evil smile waiting for his clone to catch on. It took a few seconds but the clone figured it out, like minds and whatnot. "Oooh, you are so evil." The clone stared going through the nearby racks looking for the appropriate attire. "Will you want me to cut the weights out of the other ORANGES?"

One of the things that Naruto did when he first started to really train was to sew training weights into each set of his clothing. The jackets got metal ribs that added a measure of protection should one of the more vocal demon haters decide to rid the world of konohas Jinchuriki. His pants received metal plates at the shins and thighs, along with a lead lined waistband.

"No I'll do that when I get home… hold on a second." Creating a shadow clone he had it dispel immediately. After a few seconds he twitched then started to smile. _ So the clones send information to each other as well. _

"What are you smiling about?" Tenten said as she emerged from behind one of the nearby clothing racks.

"When I create a clone it has all the memories that I have and when these clones pop they send anything they have learned to me and apparently all the other clones as well. I just told the clones that I made earlier to cut the weights out of all my clothes. I'll need to think about all the implications later."

"But you didn't say anything to the clone before it dispelled." Tenten observed.

"The clones are an exact copy of me at the time of their creation, thoughts and feelings physical wear, even hunger. When I create them they know why they exist."

"Then why are you ordering this one around?" She said pointing to the clone that was looking for clothes resembling a certain Cyclops.

"Makes me feel important." Naruto said with a shrug.

At this time Tenten was using her eyes in an attempt to bore through the blondes head and see what made him tick. After a minute or so of no success she decided it was better off not knowing and started walking towards the front of the store. "Whatever, the etchings should be done in a few minutes. I'll be at the register if you need me."

"Yes Mistress Tenten Goddess of War."

"Smart ass." Mumbled the weapon mistress. It was a few minutes later that Naruto and his clone dumped a large pile of clothes on the checkout counter. Surveying the mountain of reinforced clothing Tenten started ringing up the items. "Will that be it for today?"

His heart sank as he saw the number on the register climbing higher and higher. _Damn this is an expensive occupation. _"Actually, are your parents here?"

"Why?" She said still adding up the clothing.

"Well I have a piece that needs repair and I have a business deal with your mom."

"He's finishing up one of the larger orders we got. She had to run some errands but she should be back shortly. Let me go get him."

Tenten disappeared behind the curtain to the backroom only to reappear a few minutes later with her mountain of a father trailing behind. Mr. and Mrs. Higurashi were some of the few people who Naruto could truly consider friends. With their help he had been able to afford food of a greater diversity and quality than store bought ramen. Something he is forever grateful for.

"Naruto, how can I help you?" Asked the big smith, Han.

"Well I need this repaired." Reaching under his shirt Naruto applied chakra to the seal running across his chest. Without a sound or a poof of smoke a red sheathed tanto appeared in his hand. He casually tossed it to the smith.

Pulling the blade from its broken sheath Mr. Higurashi examined the Evon blade and all its properties. "Hypothetically, right?" Testing its balance flexibility weight and cutting edge he seemed satisfied with what he found.

Flashing a bright true grin Naruto replied. "Of course."

All the while Tenten's mouth had been hanging open in shock. "W-where did you get that it must have cost a fortune!"

"Spoils of war."

"What war have you fought in?" Tenten asked while eyes stayed firmly glued to the red blade.

"Life is war, everyday a battle." Naruto replied.

_There it is again. _Thought Tenten. Being one of his few friends she had noticed how he was shunned by the majority of the population. It was safe to assume that his life wasn't a walk in the park. But there were moments when the shell that was Naruto would crack and beneath it and the world weary soul beneath it were laid bare.

"True enough." Han agreed knowing the burden the boy bared, and himself having lived in the world for some thirty plus years. "Sheath is split, and the hilt is worn out. Blade could use oil and a sharpening. Is that all you want fixed?"

"I like the elegance that it has now but I have no skill with a blade, yet, I think it needs a guard. Could you set it up as more of a combat knife than a tanto?"

"It's your money." _It's a weapon of death whatever makes it more effective the better._ The smith thought.

"Could you also attach a kunai ring to the pommel?"

"Wouldn't be that hard. It'll cost about two hundred in all."

"Well let's say you knock the price down a little and I give you these." Rolling up his sleeve Naruto placed his hand on one of his seals and added chakra. In a cloud of smoke two fuma shuriken were threaded onto the blondes wrist. The shuriken having been commandeered from a traitorous ninja would not be missed.

Eying the large pieces of metal and thinking of the possibilities of what they could become Han threw out a number. "One fifty."

"Deal." Handing over the large pieces of metal to the smith who effortlessly lifted the oversized kunai.

"I have a few large orders I need to fill so I won't be able to do it today. Chunin exams and all."

"Oh that's right, where is it this year?"

"Kusa."

"It's hot in the Grass village, sucks for them, oh well. Whenever you get around to it is fine, I'm in no rush."

Re-sheathing the blade Mr. Higurashi walked back behind the curtain to finish the orders and to plan out what he'd make out of the shuriken.

With the departure of her dad Tenten brain gained traction. "You have tattoos?" Tenten asked looking over the two seals still visible on his revealed arms.

Rolling up the other sleeve Naruto showed off the seals on both arms. "I thought you knew."

"You always wear long sleeves and when you're not you're too covered in dirt mud or blood to see them. Who did them?"

"I did."

She looked skeptical. "I know you said you could make regular sealing scrolls but these are mid level, and they're on skin."

"I have a mild interest in seals, so what better way to use my interest than to have storage seals on by arms. You know how I'm not exactly worshiped by the majority of the village, well it runs deeper than that and there is no way I would ever let someone else place a seal on me. For all I know they could add some sort of limiter…on me." Thinking over the large scope of the people who hated him and there was bound to be one or two who had the hate and knowledge of seals to place a limiter on him so as to decrease the likely hood of him being a threat. "I'll need to check that later. So adding the refitting of the blade and the gloves to the bill how much will I be set back?"

"2150." As if on command a young man emerged from the backroom carrying a box. "Here's the gloves with the desired etchings." Setting it down on the counter he popped the lid to show off the newly applied designs. On the backs of all the gloves were images of flame.

"Perfect." Naruto said surveying the work of one of the apprentices. "He'll love them, then use them to beat the bloody crap out of me." Replacing the lid on the box the man turned away and returned to his duties. "Put it all on my tab, ill pay it off next time I come in."

"Suit yourself." She noted the price in a ledger and started stuffing the clothes into a large cloth bag.

A chime of a bell signified the opening of the shop door. The clone had returned , and he was carrying a scroll. Running over to the counter he placed the scroll down then immediately dispelled himself.

"What's this?" Tenten said while reading over the scroll. In it were several seals each labeled with what they contained.

"I recently broke into the field of manufacturing seals. Last year your mom asked me if I could make some seals to sell here. The ones you guys make and sell are fine but there isn't a variety of them and they take a significant amount of time to produce. I can make containment scrolls and exploding tags and in a few days I'll be able to make training weights. But once I get further into the art I'll come up with other things." He started pointing out the different items he had created then stored. "Small medium and large storage scrolls. Small medium and large yield exploding tags. Small medium and large yield concussion tags. Flash bang tags. And finally Flame tags. In all they total somewhere around ten thousand individual seals."

Tenten was floored, a single storage seal took a minimum of ten minutes to produce, so how he was able to make ten thousand left her little overwhelmed. "Clones are useful, tell your mother I'll have the next shipment in three or four days. See ya." Sealing the gloves and his new wardrobe into one of the seals on his arm Naruto turned and left the shop with a smile on his face. Leaving poor Tenten to stare blankly at the scroll and its contents.

**I made some small changes to the previous chapter. The changes are mostly in the council chamber. You should take a look.**

IM FINISHED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that took me like three or four months to finally get it out. Sorry about the long wait. Blame minecraft.

I don't know if you remember or not but I put up a poll a while ago, the results decided that Naruto would learn to use the tanto. So I'm going to start that soon.

I want to make something perfectly clear. Naruto will not be relying on Shadow clones and Rasengan for Every FUCKING fight he gets into. Make no mistake I will use them in the future, but for the most part the clones will be for training or scouting or general tomfoolery. The Rasengan will be for defense penetration or to screw with someone. I plan to make a ninja not a one trick pony, by the way how has he not been killed off in the manga, are his opponents really that bad? And how do you claim to be a ninja without having a single kill under your belt?

Just so you know I really wanted to put him on team ten with Ino and Shikamaru but the storyline works better with team seven and I need pinky and emo for fun.

Words of wisdom:

Don't dig straight down.

Success is three things: motivation, perspiration, and large quantities of insanity. Motivation may be freely interchanged with caffeine.

Don't look directly at the sun.

Tip your waitresses.


	12. There's no 'me' in team…right?

Hey peoples how's it hangin?

Any who this is my 12th installment of sly as a fox. I would like to say, before I begin the chapter, that I thank everyone for their reviews and their kind words, there hasn't been any really negative reviews, which I think is odd. However I would very much like your opinions on how I can improve the story. I've started to redo the 1st chapter and will be making my way through fixing flow, grammar, and plot errors, but I have a biased opinion of my work and may very well miss something. So I ask please help me make this story great.

Evon- Chakra conducting metal. Because it's a pain to write out 'chakra conducting metal' every time.

I'd also like to thank my beta, Lednacek.

* * *

Chapter 12- There's no 'me' in team…right?

"To gaze upon you is to see perfection, to hear your voice is to hear the songs of angels. To be in your presence is the fulfillment of one's greatest ambition. I bow before you. Take these humble offerings as a token of my devotion to you." Naruto said while prostrating himself at the feet of Anko Mitarashi, Special Jonin of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

The ever scantily dressed Anko was sitting cross-legged on a stump of an oak tree that had been felled years before. The multitudes of skewered dango, held in each hand, were in the process of being annihilated. At her feet was a platter stacked two feet high with her favorite treat that her oh so humble minion had gifted her. They were of course from her favorite restaurant, with the perfect seasoning, size and texture. "Your offering pleases me minion." She said in between bites of her precious dango. "What is it you seek?"

"Anko great goddess of all that is sharp, pointy, and potentially life threatening I seek your advise in the art of stabbing things to death." Said Naruto from his most humble and unworthy bow.

"Thou doth seek the path to enlightenment? Tis a path full of hardship and mayhem. Have you the means to take the first step into the light?" She said as she dropped the last of the barren skewer onto the now dango-less platter.

"Yes my lady." Getting up from his bow Naruto unzipped his vest and rummaged around for his first step to enlightenment. Grasping what he wanted he withdrew his hand and clenched in his hand was his tanto. It had undergone a slight alteration since handing it over to Han Higurashi. The split sheath had been swapped out for one in a matt black finish and with a clip for easy carrying. The wood and fabric grip had been exchanged for that of black leather secured with a cross hatch of thin metal wire. The dull grey metal of a kunai ring was now firmly secured as the pommel. Withdrawing the blade from its new sheath the blade gave off a glint that could only be a fresh coating of oil.

Anko let out a long whistle in awe of the red Evon blade. "Nice hardware brat, where'd you get it?"

"Found it." He said in a tone he thought sounded mysterious. Looking back to the blade to re-sheath it but found his hands were instead gripping a bundle of slightly used skewers.

"Good weight, good edge, good balance, allows for attack or defense." Anko said as she twirled the blade through her fingers with practiced ease.

"Hey how'd you do that?" Naruto asked clearly not understanding how she replaced his blade with skewers. To pick his pocket was one thing but to take something from his hand was another.

"I'm better than you." She said in a matter of fact tone. Truthfully she was, by a very very very large margin. Years of dedicating yourself to dango and the shinobi way made a person significantly more than the average joe. "You are a Genin now, right?" Despite the actions of the Third there were still a few laws in place that prohibited anyone from helping Naruto should he still be a civilian.

"Yep passed that stupid test with flying colors, and I think I kinda pissed of my team leader too. He didn't want to take the team, not that I can blame him I'm stuck with morons."

Anko, still studying the blade and pondering ways of _liberating_ it from the blonde, was checking its properties by streaming chakra through it and carving deep gouges in the stump she sat on."Why? Who's on your team?"

"Sasuke Uchiha, the royal pain himself. Sakura Hurano the pink screamer. And last but not least the great and powerful 'Copy ninja' Kakashi Hatake."

"OH! Is that why you're dressed like that?" Looking down Naruto gave a once over of his current attire. He was in dark blue shinobi pants, with tape wrappings around his ankles, a dark blue shirt under what could pass as a jonin vest, with fingerless shinobi gloves. But the most out distracting aspect of his look was his head. He wore a cloth mask covering the bottom half of his face. His hitai-ate, backed in black cloth, hung down covering his left eye, leaving the right to take the form of a patented eye smile. But to top it all off his usually unruly hair was standing straight up.

Running his hands through his hair he started mussing it up to get it back how it normally was. "Yeah I did this just to mess with him, the jerk thought it was flattering."

"Oooh what did you do!" She said with big excited eyes that were eerily similar to those of a little kid begging for a story.

"Well….

* * *

"They're both LATE!" Screamed a silly pink headed girl. "It's been four hours! When Naruto gets here I'm going to give him a piece of my mind." Sakura said threateningly. She was wearing her normal red dress, dark green shorts, kunai holster, and had her forehead protector tied up as a hair band.

"I agree." Stated the pissed off Uchiha in his usual garb of white shorts, with a short sleeved high collared blue shirt adorned with the Uchiha crest on the back. He also had on a pair of white strap on sleeves.

It was eleven ten and their new sensei and teammate had yet to arrive. Both the Uchiha and Sakura had followed the directions fully. They had skipped their breakfast, something the ever dieting Sakura did frequently, arrived at training ground seven at seven and waited for their sensei to arrive. After four hours and ten minutes of being forgotten both Genin were in a sour mood. They were stewing in their unhappiness under the shade of a large oak tree each planning to do horrible things to their teammate when he arrived.

"Don't be so bent out of shape." A disembodied voice said lazily.

The Uchiha tensed at the sound of the voice readying himself to respond at a moment's notice. The pink one was a little less ready. "Wha!" She yelled looking around franticly for the sound of the voice.

"Chill out it's only me." A figure dropped from the foliage of the tree.

"Naruto your late!" Yelled the screamer.

"What are you wearing dobe?" Was Sasuke's eloquent reply.

Naruto stood there in all his Kakashi-esk-ness, a single red apple in his hand. "His outfit yesterday was just so awesome I just had to copy it." He said in a tone devote of any emotion something that the 'old Naruto' could not do. He gave them a once over and found something decidedly wrong. "How are either of you standing? The first time I was forced to work out with those two I about died and was out for a week."

"I'm actually in shape unlike some people." The black eyed boy said looking pointedly at the female of the group who in her love crazed mind mistook the look as one of longing. The truth of the matter was that the Uchiha district had a rather luxurious hot spring, and the addition of several strong painkillers left him only a little stiff.

"Oookaay. What about you?" Naruto asked Sakura who was still eye raping the poor black eyed boy.

"I-I don't know what you mean." She defended her physique. It was a little known fact that her family owned a masseuse parlor. Six hours under the hands of a trained professional can do miracles. "A-anyways your late!"

"I've been here since six looking over the terrain and setting things up just in case."

"What? No you haven't we. I would have seen you."

"Would you really? I'm not wearing orange, it was overcast earlier so there wasn't a lot of light , I did most of my work in the forest, and to top it off if I don't want to be seen then I won't be."

The Uchiha chuckled clearly not believing the once blond idiot was capable of stealth. A sentiment shared by his pink haired teammate.

"Please stop trying to act cool like Sasuke, we both got better grades than you in the academy there is no way you could get past us."

"First off why do you have to tie everything to Sasuke? He is really not that great and secondly sneaking into people's houses is a hobby of mine. And I can honestly say it's been three years since ANBU has caught me. Take these pictures for example." Reaching into one of his pocket he produced a small stack of photos. Their subject was of a sleeping Uchiha cuddled up with a small brown teddy bear.

"AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!" Yelled Sakura.

The Uchiha made a swipe for the photos but missed as Naruto jumped back out of arms reach. "Where did you get those?" He said through clenched teeth while a vein on his forehead bulged dangerously. Making another lunge at the photos he could only wince in pain as evidence of his brutal workout the day before shot pain through his legs.

"Took them last night. I thought I could sell them to your fan club. The auction is set for five tonight if you care to join." He said laughing as he outran the sore and stiff Uchiha. "Blackmail makes the world go round."

Sasuke has had enough, he bolted forward as he pumped chakra into his legs. His new speed caught Naruto unprepared and in the form of a tackle to the torso. The collision sent them both to the ground in a heap of limbs and cursing. From there it devolved into a wrestling match. The sound of fighting was only punctuated by the sound Sakura as she attempted to stop her fighting teammates. It was of course only a matter of time till she came to close to the boys and was herself pulled into the fight.

lone poof of smoke was the only warning that someone new had arrived at training ground seven. And as the grey cloud stated to disperse a clear voice said. "Sorry I'm late I got lost… what are you doing?" Kakashi stated as he got a look at his brats/Genin.

"Teamwork building exercise." Naruto said while sitting victoriously atop his two hogtied teammates. They were of course gagged with their own forehead protectors so as to keep the noise to human levels.

"No not that, why are you dressed like me?" Kakashi said not even batting his eye at his team.

"You look cool?"

"Glad you can appreciate good taste," He said with an odd one eyed smile. "if you had come dressed in green spandex I would have had to snap your neck."

"No doubt." Naruto agreed. Spandex did not belong on any man.

"Now on to the test. The goal today is for you to obtain one of these bells." He said holding up two small bells attached to short strings.

"Mnph nhniph fungh nrnnnsus." Sakura

"What I think Sakura is trying to say is that there are only two bells and there are three of us." The only un-gagged Genin translated.

"Ah right, now normally the test would be team based showing me how well you work together and how your skills can be used as a unit to achieve a common goal. But I really don't have time to train three brats so I'll only take the best. So you are to obtain the bells at any cost and in any way you see fit. The intent to kill is suggested. Now at noon if none of you have obtained one of the bells then the one who did the worst is going to be tied to one of those posts as a punishment." He said indicating the three randomly placed posts.

"Hn." Sasuke somehow got through the gag. Angsty emos shall not be stopped by anything.

"Sasuke says: that's not much of a punishment." Naruto translated.

"It will be when the loser has to watch the rest of us eat." The impact of his words hit them at that moment. The reason he didn't want them to eat wasn't because he didn't want them to throw up, but because he was an evil and sadistic bastard. And it was at that moment that their stomachs decided that it was time to make themselves heard. Well two of them anyways.

"Well I'm glad I had a big breakfast." Naruto said patting his belly.

"I told you not to eat." Kakashi said in a less than thrilled tone. Ruining his fun was not a way to get on his good side.

"You also told us to be here at seven." The mini Kakashi said re-directing the focus of the conversation. "So can we start already my seat is all lumpy and full of hate." He jumped up from his roost upon his team and started walking off towards the nearest stand of trees.

"Aren't you going to release them?" Kakashi called out.

He let out a snort in amusement. "Hell no, I'm taking every advantage I can, and besides they learned the rope escape tricks in the academy they'll be just fine." Naruto had made it to the tree line but instead of progressing further in, to hide and plan his assault, he just sat down under the shade of the nearest tree. Digging through his vest he pulled out his apple and began eating, after removing his mask of course.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi called asked.

"Thinking. And eating."

"I get that but aren't you supposed to I don't know hide?"

"You don't strike me as the proactive type so until I have a plan there is no reason to do anything unnecessary."

_Makes sense. _"Come on you two the 'exercise' has started. Your teammate is leaving you behind." The sensei said to the tied up students as he watched them wriggle on the ground. Pulling out a watch from one of his vest pockets he checked the time. "You've got thirty three minutes left."

It took a few moments but there was the distinctive twang of metal snapping from the squirming form of Sasuke. He immediately pulled the hitai-ate out of his mouth then dashed off into the woods.

It was ten minutes later that Sakura was finally able to free herself from the metal coils. She gave the sitting Naruto a glare before she too ran off into the woods.

Kakashi, deciding that his time would be better spent on more productive things, dug into the pouch on his belt and pulled out a small orange book. The soft sound of perverted giggles could be heard on the wind. He settled himself in a crouch and began to read his book. For the seven hundred and thirty fourth time.

Naruto just watched the perverted form of his teacher as he combed over the task at hand. It was a tall task to order three academy fresh Genin to take on a Jonin level ninja without any information, prior planning, or set up. To top it all off they had to outdo each other, the situation was not good. He sat down, going over his options and weighing his chances.

It was a few minutes later that he decided on the most effective plan. He stood up reapplied his mask tossed the remains of his apple into the bushes and steadily walked over to his sensei.

_Just like his file states he was the most likely to attack first. The file even said he'd use an oversimplified head on approach. Though the thinking period seems a little uncharacteristic, and his actions on the roof top too. _Thought the perverted man.

As he drew nearer and nearer Kakashi's body started reading itself to move at a moment's notice. The muscles in his arms legs and back started to tense in preparation to avoid the blonde's first attack.

As the Genin drew closer to his target his entire body prepared itself should the Jonin go on the attack. He was now five feet from his target, it was time to start the plan. Slowly precisely he drew his hand back and reached into the pouch on his belt. Clutching tightly the object held within, pulling his hand out slowly as not to spook the Jonin before him.

Kakashi was worried, no scratch that he was terrified. For the village dumbass/prankster to move in such a deliberate way spelled doom of untold proportions.

Naruto brought his hand and its contents to bear. The item in question was… a book… an orange book. A small orange book with a man and a woman on it. Naruto flicked it open to a random page dropped into a position very similar to the masked man, then started reading.

To say Kakashi was shocked was an understatement. He could not in his wildest dreams believe that there would be a Genin that appreciated the works of Jiraya. "I didn't take you for a fan. But you're underage you can't legally have… that's not Icha Icha." Kakashi said not moving so as to appear that he was still reading.

"No it's a book on finger dexterity. Good for picking pockets and locks. I'm reading about a particular coin trick at the moment. I had to draw the cover myself not bad right?" The blonde said without looking up from his book.

"Okay, so why are you doing this? The clothes the book, even the attitude to an extent. Why?"

"You made my information gathering skills look bad yesterday, I didn't appreciate that. So the imitation is my retaliation, along with the fact that it throws the emo and his sidekick off balance."

"You're talking about Shige? The incident has been swept under the carpet, the council didn't want the world to know there's only two Uchiha left. I only know because I was one of those sent to investigate the event."

"Doesn't matter. I've gotten into every fortified structure in the village. Every secure location, every secret file. ANBU headquarters, mapped out. Catacombs beneath the city, thoroughly explored. Your stash of Icha Icha cataloged and organized by date of release."

"That was you?" He KNEW someone broke into his apartment and rearranged his collection.

"There isn't a secret I don't know about, and then yesterday you crushed that notion."

"I see that you're smarter than what your file says but"

Naruto snorts in amusement. "My file? I wrote my file, anyone looking for information about me will just see an idiot. If you look into every prank I've ever pulled, you'll see that I caused no permanent property damage, there were no stolen items, and the biggest punishment I received was cleaning the kennels at the Inuzuka compound. Something that qualifies as a D-rank _mission_. Hell I'm responsible for the recent bump in defenses of the clan compounds."

After the coming out of the intelligent Naruto and the knowledge that their defenses were pitiful, every one of the clans had been beefing up security. From increasing the number of guards, Hyuuga. To full remodeling of entire compounds, as the Nara, Inuzuka, and Aburame clans.

Kakashi narrowed his visible eye, thinking about the recent actions of the clans. He thought back to Naruto's file, the one he had used his left eye to memorize, after looking closer he did notice that it lacked any real detail. _This is not average for a Genin. I only know a few Chunin that could do this._

"But were getting off topic and running low on time. So let's get back to the immediate problem shall we? I figure this whole thing is a hoax. I know a jonin sensei who took an apprentice and he has a team, I believe you are familiar with Might guy."

Kakashi's eye twitched.

"As for my close proximity I found it funny how you use the fact that we're all loners to your advantage. Sasuke the Emo survivor, Sakura the overzealous fangirl, and me the demon of Konoha. So when you said that we would be competing against our teammates for the only slot, what normally would have sent up red flags for any other group went ignored. Konoha drilled teamwork into us at the academy and the only one man teams I've heard of are couriers, infiltrators, and assassins. So my thinking is that this is all a set up to pit us against each other when we should be using teamwork to overcome a superior opponent. How close is that?"

"Ah…" _He's over thinking it a little but that's it. Note to self do not underestimate him._

"Or there is the fact that I'm familiar with Konoha history but more specifically the end of the White Fang." That startled Kakashi. "He didn't complete his mission but instead saved his teammates. He was later dishonored for failing the mission and after a while committed suicide. So it strikes me as odd that his son would make us choose the mission over the team."

Kakashi was speechless. It had been years since someone had the balls to mention his father in front of him.

"I could be wrong and you're an ass-whole, then when Sasuke finally attacks I'm close enough to try and steal a bell in the confusion. On the other hand I read some of the forbidden scroll and know Shadow Clone jutsu and the Great Clone Explosion. I could be a shadow clone with half of Naruto's chakra, big bang, big crater. Your corpse would probably hand the bell over with little to no fuss."

_The grey haired man's mind was in overdrive. Wha, this is unheard of! How deep has he gotten into this exercise? And to know about father's death. I would never have expected this from the village idiot this is closer to the level of a Nara. But wait he's missing something. _"So why haven't you told your teammates of your hypothesis's yet?"

"My future teammates will have to cover my back and if they care more for themselves than the team then I will most likely die. Unfortunately I'm sorta attached to life, go figure. I could care less if it's the most powerful ninja in the world or the lowliest of urchins I want to be with someone who cares about the 'us.'"

_Well that decided it. _"Congratulations you pass. You saw underneath the underneath and to the heart of the problem. Regardless of whether those two pass or not I'll make sure you're made an official Genin." Even through the mask it was evident that Naruto's mouth was hanging open in shock. "The news of you putting down the entire council was not an exaggeration, was it?"

"Depends on the version you heard. Did I threaten to go all Kyuubi and squash the village, no?" _I might have thought it very loudly though._ "Did I black mail the fuck out of them, maybe." Naruto said with an almost unnoticeable shrug.

_So he knows about the Kyuubi. _"I do ask that you keep up the act till this is over. Your potential teammates have to finish."

"Okay. There're only ten minutes left anyways."

* * *

Elsewhere in training ground seven.

Perched high in a tree Sasuke observed the Genin and his teacher. "What is that bastard doing I'm too far to hear them and I can't even tell if they're talking because of those masks. Is he trying to bribe his way into the spot?" Checking his watch Sasuke saw there was only ten minutes left. "Che, now or never." He said as he tugged a slew of metal wires.

* * *

The sound of metal on the wind filled the air. As the wave of shuriken and kunai rained down on their location the jonin jumped out of the way followed close behind by Naruto.

As soon as they landed another barrage of weaponry assaulted them from another angle. It was clear that the attackers intent was to draw them into the trees where there were bound to be more traps.

Great Fireball announced the disembodied voice of Sasuke. A massive fireball roared to life from the pairs left. Kakashi dived forward behind a thick oak using it to shield him from the flames, meanwhile Naruto just stood there as the ball of flame closed in on him. _Move! _Kakashi thought to himself as he watched the attack swallow his new Genin. Over the roar of the fire the sound of a Shadow Clone could be heard dispelling. A wave of relief flooded through Kakashi. _He wasn't bluffing it was a Shadow Clone from the start, if he does know Great Clone Explosion he could have taken me out whenever he wanted. And why the hell is a Genin able to do a Great Fireball?_

The crunch of leaves was all that gave away the advancement of a person from behind. Dropping low and bring up and arm the one eyed man blocked a flying kick. Using his other hand he grabbed the offending leg and tossed it and its owner into the bushes. "Taijutsu, the physical engagement between two opponents. The great Uchiha have certainly fallen far if that's all that remains."

There was a snarl in anger of the insult before the blue and white form of Sasuke shot out of the bushes. Closing in, he shot a quick left at the torso of his sensei. The blow was easily turned aside with the flick of a few fingers. Throwing a right he aimed for the head. It too was thrown aside as if it were but a fly. With a grunt of annoyance he threw a flurry of blows. Left straight, right cross into a reverse roundhouse, into a right knee all of which were dodged deflected or countered. _He's not even trying, and he still got that stupid lazy look on his face!_ Sasuke roared mentally.

"Shadow Shuriken Jutsu/ Shadow Shuriken Jutsu." The voice of two Naruto's said at the same time. This time the bored look on Kakashi face left to one similar to panic. He dropped low and disappeared in a cloud of smoke as a wall of Shuriken and kunai descended on the spot he was standing. The cloud dispersed by the movement of metal flying through it revealed empty air.

Sasuke spun around looking for the source of the attack and for his target. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the green of his teachers vest closing in on him fast. Whipping his arm up he sent a strike for center mass. He felt the hit as it sunk into the torso but it wasn't the grey hair of his teacher but blonde. The clone dispelled leaving a cloud of smoke covering Sasuke entirely. The sound of feet was all he heard before the smoke cleared and a blue clad knee met his face sending him tumbling.

Using the momentum of the blow he righted himself and came to a sliding stop on one knee. The form of Naruto kept running and disappeared into the trees. "Keep trying Sas'uke." The disembodied voice of Naruto called out.

_Fucking bastard! I'll kill him!_ The Uchiha thought as he held the sight of impact with one hand and grabbed a kunai with the other. Closing his eyes he concentrated on the sound around him. The sounds of insects in the trees, normal. The sounds of birds singing to each other, normal. The clang of metal on metal. "That's it." He said to himself before he dashed off towards the sound.

* * *

The ringing of steel filled the air as Kakashi deflected object after object with a kunai. _ Damn he's using Shadow Clones as snipers then throwing Shadow Shuriken Justus in randomly._ The small clearing that he was occupying was littered with weapons, most of them disappearing in smoke after a few seconds. He heard the call of the technique again as he spun around to deflect yet another kunai. The wall of metal covered him from head to toe.

"Kawarimi, damn." A clone said before the impaled man disappeared in a puff of smoke and was replaced by a log.

_Thank you Mr. Log. _Kakashi thought from his new hiding spot high in the trees. _Forced to use Shunshin and Kawarimi by a Genin, this is pathetic. If one of the other Jonin hears about this they will never let me live it down._ _Oh look there's Sasuke._

Sasuke had just entered the clearing and spotted the clones strewn throughout the immediate area. Flipping through a series of seven hand seals he called out his attack. "Dragons Breath Jutsu!" Inhaling a large amount of air he quickly expelled it, a long stream of fire erupted from his mouth as he swept his head from side to side obliterating the clones. It was at this point that the surrounding foliage started to catch fire.

"Ah damn, I'm going to need to put that out. Stupid kids making me work." Kakashi said as he unclipped one of the scrolls from his vest. Unrolling it he saw it was the correct storage scroll. He staked it to the trunk of the tree, then applied chakra to the seal. As if a main had been opened water shot out. Going through a series of six handsigns Kakashi focused his chakra and called out the technique. "Water Shockwave." The free flowing water surged up and enveloped him in a vortex of water then exploded. The resulting wave shot towards the spreading fire.

* * *

"Naruto I'm going to kill you now." Sasuke said as he advanced on the last blonde.

Naruto was slowly backing up in an attempt to distance himself from the enraged Uchiha. "Hey now I-I got caught up in the moment and … it's an odd day for rain."

That stopped the Uchiha; out of all the things a doomed man could say he was not expecting a comment on the weather. Then it hit him, literally. He was floored by the wave of water. The growing fire was instantly put to death with one defiant hiss of steam. "Cooled off now?" Naruto said as he walked out from behind a tree, completely dry. "You should really pay better attention to your surroundings I mean"

"One Thousand Years of" Poof, the Naruto vanished in a cloud of smoke leaving Kakashi sliding to a halt where the clone was.

"Where were you aiming with that?" Naruto said as he emerged from the other side of the clearing.

"…Neck." Kakashi responded. _Damn clones ruin all my fun._

"You sir are fucked up" He didn't have time to finish as he was forced to dodge a hail of kunai. Turning on his opponent he saw Sasuke charging him with a kunai drawn. _Is he still trying to kill me? _Naruto thought sadly. He responded with a loping right punch at Sasuke's head. The boy ducked down easily avoiding the punch and started wheeling around to shove his kunai into the 'dead lasts' brain. As Naruto had missed the punch he, instead of trying to turn around, leaned forward rooted both his hands firmly to the ground and kicked backwards. Sasuke was rewarded for his efforts with a double mule kick to the chest.

_My cute little Genin sure are feisty, but aren't I supposed to be the target? _Kakashi thought as he saw the body of the Uchiha leave the ground from the impact of the mule kick. As the black haired boy hit the ground he started rolling and came to a stop propped up on one elbow holding his chest with the other one. He quickly descended into fits of coughing. Naruto stood in a ready stance ready for the downed man to continue, should the look in his eyes be anything to go by. His eyes were indeed filled with a promise of death. His intent would unfortunately be stopped by the beeping coming from the Jonin on the sidelines. "That's time. Good work you two it almost made me think you wanted these." He said holding up the untouched bells.

"Ugh/Ugh." Naruto and Sasuke said in unison realizing their folly.

"Then you had to go and forget about me in order to try and beat each other's faces in. Good show though nothing says entertainment like watching little boys beat the hell out of each other." Kakashi ended with his one eye smile.

"Oh well you win some you lose some. You said we got another chance after lunch so it's all good." Naruto said happily before he started picking up stray kunai. It wouldn't do to just leave them to rust.

"You got in my way. I would have had it had you not interfered." Sasuke said as he glared daggers at the blonde.

"All's fair in love and war. And it's your fault, you didn't have to keep trying to off me. While we're on the matter of war didn't anyone get hit with one of my traps?"

"You had me pinned back at that clearing." Kakashi put in. Sasuke just kept staring.

"No that wasn't one of them. You would know if you got hit. But I set them up every"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Never mind."

* * *

"NARRRRUUUUTOOOOOOO!" Sakura screeched once more.

"Pink is your color." Kakashi noted. Before them Sakura was suspended between two trees by a tangle of ropes and wire. The pinkette was hanging upside down and was covered from head to toe in large pink feathers.

"I'm going to kill you!" She screamed in anger her face gone red from her orientation and mood.

"Meep!" Naruto behind Sasuke, putting the emo between himself and the angry girl. Sasuke just glared at the blond.

"Well since she's tied up at the moment why don't we have something to eat." Kakashi said as he shoved two lunches into the Genin that weren't bound and feathered.

"Hn." Mr. Happy grunted still pissed at not being able to kill the dead last. He grabbed the lunch and settled himself down under one of the nearby trees.

"No thanks I don't wanna know where you've been keeping that." Naruto said eyeing the lunch with caution.

"Suit yourself." Kakashi just plopped down and started digging into his lunch, not even giving Sakura a second thought as he ate. They all sat in silence, Kakashi and Sasuke eating, Naruto picking at his fingernails with a kunai and Sakura approaching unconsciousness from having all her blood rush to her head. That was until a loud sound reminiscent of a grizzly echoed through the area, Sakura hadn't eaten since seven last night, and even then it was a light salad due to the restrictions of her diet. She was hungry even if she was unconscious.

* * *

Sasuke's mind was a storm of activity. Naruto the official joke of the ninja academy, the all time dumbass of the village, the all around looser managed to completely dictate the flow of battle. He got their Jonin sensei pinned down with clones and kunai. He had floored the 'Genius' of the current class twice, he had done so with a controlled face and to top it all off he wasn't even out of breath. This was not how it was supposed to go. Sasuke continued to stew in his thoughts as he continued with his lunch.

* * *

Kakashi's mind was a storm of activity. He had come expecting four possible outcomes to his test. One, everyone banded together through the power of teamwork and overcame the task at hand. Two, everyone went their own way and tried to attack him separately, fail to get the bells, then all three of them fail the test. Three, everyone going their separate way, fail to get the bells then passing due to dumb luck. Four, accidently killing one of them, most likely Sakura, then being sent to prison for murder. Option five shouldn't exist, and yet here it was. They go their separate ways, one of them figures out the test, pins down a jonin and then fights off a homicidal Uchiha.

His mind switched gears. The Hokage had told him not to expect anything but the current situation had bypassed expected, blitzed passed unlikely, blew by impossible, and had reached somewhere that could only be make believe. He had heard from various sources that the 'Demon of Konoha' was smarter than anyone had previously thought and that he has been bidding his time to strike when it was least expected. But the thought came from the rumors of the council chamber incident, an incident that most believed that the Hokage organized in order to get back at the council for all the paperwork they created. Evidently Naruto played a larger role than what was first thought. It could have been possible that it was all Naruto and that the Hokage just sat back and enjoyed the fireworks none the less. What were his goals? What plans does he already have in motion?

He continued to ponder the enigma of the group.

* * *

Sakura's mind was not a storm of activity, she was out cold.

* * *

"Well that hit the spot now I've got to talk to someone real quick." Kakashi said as he finished his meal.

"How did you eat without taking your mask off?" Naruto asked still picking at his fingernails.

"I'll tell you when you're older. Now neither of you are allowed to give Sakura any food or let her down, if you do you fail the test and I'll drop you from the shinobi program."

_Well how obvious could you get? _Naruto thought to himself. _Telling someone to not do something just makes them want to do it._

Sasuke showed no signs of wanting to free his teammate and just sat eating the remainder of his meal in silence.

Naruto on the other hand was weighing his options. _To be a good person or to be a smart person that is the question. Help pinky and emo graduate or get assigned to a random team? Is the enemy you know better than the enemy you don't? If I do help them then I could potentially help mould them into forces greater than the Sannin themselves! Sakura the greatest mind the world has ever seen. Sasuke greatest of all the Uchiha. And Naruto…hated demon of the hidden leaf. Ooh, I like that 'Demon of the Hidden Leaf', sounds badass like that Zabuza character the 'Demon of the Bloody Mist'. We could strike fear into the hearts of enemy ninja everywhere... Hehe screw that I'm gonna mess them up till they're forced to live in a padded room. I should really be an evil mastermind bent on world domination, now if only I had minions, I guess clones could count. Oh well here goes nothing. _"Hey you know if we all attacked him at once we might be able to at least make him serious." He said aloud and to no one in particular.

"What are you talking about Naruto Sasuke had him on the run the whole time if only you hadn't interfered then Sasuke would have gotten the bell!" Sakura yelled.

Turning his attention to his reawakened teammate Uzumaki saw that she was not awake but still unconscious. "Her evil fangirl powers work even while knocked out, who knew." Pulling out a kunai from one of his pouches he tossed it into the woods where the ringing of metal on metal was heard. The wire suspending Sakura went slack, dropping her unceremoniously on the ground.

"I don't know what fight you were watching but the one we were involved in had an out of shape one eyed man lazily throwing us around like rag dolls. He didn't even use any jutsu on us."

"Hn."

"And while I already ate, Sakura here hasn't since yesterday and with that ridiculous diet she's on I'm surprised she can stand. At least give her your beef, I know you dislike it."

"And how would you know that?" The Uchiha turned on the last Uzumaki.

Letting out an annoyed sigh he responded. "Honestly? Didn't we discuss this before? I had pictures of you cuddled with a teddy bear. Breaking and entering is a hobby of mine." The drop had apparently jump started something as Sakura was slowly coming around. "At the very least you can use her as a distraction."

"Hn. I'll think about it." The black eyed boy said.

* * *

It was a few minutes later that Kakashi reappeared in a cloud of smoke. He instantly took notice of Sakura's unbound and upright state. "What did I say about letting her down?"

"We decided to work as a team." The now fully awake Sakura said.

"Is that your final answer? Be warned I have complete control your futures as shinobi." Kakashi said dropping his usual one eye smile and flaring a little of his killing intent.

Without hesitation. "Yes/Yes/Yes." They said as a team.

"Congratulations you all pass." The smile had returned. "Tomorrow morning at eight outside the Hokage's tower. Bye." He said before once again disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

They just sat there for a few moments. "Well that was anticlimactic. So long suckers, I'll remember you all in therapy." Naruto said as he bolted off into the woods.

* * *

"So how did your teams go?" Sarutobi asked the men and women before him.

Arranged before him were all the Jonin's who were assigned a team of Genin to evaluate. They ranged from the newly appointed officers such as the 'Ice Queen' Kurenai Yuhi, to the old veterans including Raido Nakamura Konoha's 'Stone Wall'. Each one had been given a team and a directive to discover if the young shinobi were ready for duty. And if not, whether they should be sent back to the academy or dropped from the program completely.

"You should have warned me." Kakashi said from the seat closest to the Hokage. A spot that could only be obtained if one arrived early to the meeting. His position and timing did not go unnoticed by the rest of the Jonin in attendance. All of them looking at him with expressions ranging from a raised eyebrow to full on jaws on the floor.

The old man gave a warm smile at seeing such a punctual individual. "Ah Kakashi I'm so glad you decided to join us on time today. And thank you for volunteering to go first. How did it go?"

"The girl didn't do anything, the Uchiha was about what I expected skill and temperament wise and Naruto was" He paused looking for the right word. "unforeseeable."

"I told you not to expect anything." The old man said not breaking his aura of happy serenity. Though on the inside he may or may not have been cackling madly. "Since you're here and not in the E.R. or psych ward you seemed to have handled it fine."

"He and his clones used advanced tactics, of which I doubt ninety percent of the Genin could even understand let alone use." He recounted. "It involved throwing shuriken at me, lots of shuriken, lots of shuriken that multiplied. He had me pinned down for a while, if it wasn't for the Uchiha's timely interference then he probably would have forced me into using my eye." It's not that he couldn't have beaten the new Genin, in fact he had countless ways of putting him down, but doing so without killing or seriously injuring him would have been difficult.

At the elite Jonin's confession everyone in the room was giving him confused looks, everyone save the man in the funny hat.

"You poor baby." Sarutobi said with concern in his voice and worry in his eyes. And in a flash his demeanor hardened into that of the veteran he was. "Deception is a ninjas greatest weapon," He turned to the room of accomplished warriors. "and Naruto Uzumaki has successfully used it to convince the entire village that he is a moron. Now, Kakashi, I take it that you didn't perceive him as any sort of threat when you started did you?" With no response for the cyclops he continued. "So you gave him the opportunity he needed, and that mistake forced you into the defensive. I have little doubt that if he had wanted to seriously harm to you, he could have."

Sweeping his gaze across the soldiers before him he broke strait to the point. "I've noticed the military forces have fallen into a cycle of complacency and false security since the third war, and while we are no longer have enemies at our door we must always remember that a careless attitude can allow even a fresh Genin to be the one to end you. Always be at your best, always be at ready!" He said with complete conviction.

His speech had led the group before him to look inwards and see if they had indeed lost their edge in this time of peace. "Now I think we should get back on topic. How did they do?"

Kakashi was shaken from his thoughts by his leader's question. "Oh, uh Sakura didn't participate in combat at all and wound up caught in a trap set up by Naruto. Sasuke showed decent skills but let his anger, at being outclassed, overtake him leading to his attack on Naruto and disregarding his objective. As for Naruto he figured it out the entire point of the exercise along with a plan b that would have probably cost me an arm. He might have even had a plan c."

"Do they pass?" The Hokage said from his position at the head of the room.

"Yes." The Third made a small note on a piece of paper laying before him.

"Team one?" He asked.

"Nothing special but the understood the directions and followed them as a team. I believe they are ready." Said a man in a Jonin uniform and bandages covering his head.

After marking something down on his paper the old man said. "Two?"

"Erica set was the recipient of a low grade exploding note, second degree burns up both arms, she will be out of action for five months. I suggest sending her back to the academy." Said the gruff voice of Raido Nakamura. "Shinzo is a failure as a shinobi and should be sent home. As for Tomas, he did exceptionally well, and I'm considering taking him as an apprentice."

"Alright. Reason for dismissal of Shinzo?"

"Bad aim, and very bad judgment with his explosive note."

"Fine, team three?"

"Failed them all, but they show promise, back to the academy." Said a woman completely covered in a black trench coat.

"Four?"

"Masuda passes but send the other two back to school." A man dressed in all red said.

"Reasoning?" The aged Kage asked.

"Fangirls, but they had potential." The man responded.

"Five?"

There was no response. Looking up from the paperwork the old man noted that the Jonin for team five was absent. "Where is Tori?"

"At the hospital, two of her Genin injured themselves." Said a disembodied voice from the dark corner of the room. A white mask of an ANBU emerged from the shadows. "She asked me to relay a message. 'They pass.'" The figure pulled back into the shadows and disappeared from sight completely.

"Those ANBU guys can be downright creepy." Said one of the Jonin. He got a few nods in agreement.

"Team six?"

"None of them showed up to the test. Turns out they all dropped out after the academy test."

"Disappointing." The old man let out a sigh at the fickleness of the years Genin. "Eight?"

"I am pleased to report that they all passed." The excited form of Kurenai Yuhi said. Being as she was only recently promoted to the rank of Jonin this was her first chance to do something that would truly mark her as an elite ninja of the village hidden in the leaves.

"Ten." He said looking up at the image of his son, Asuma.

Letting out a long puff of smoke from his lit cigarette he said. "I can work with them. They pass. Got any tips on handling a Nara?" The Nara were one of the larger and more powerful clans residing within the village. And one of their most distinctive traits were their lack of motivation, well at least on the male side of the clan.

"Tell him you'll go to his mother if he doesn't shape up." Sarutobi said with great wisdom. It was one of the only ways to force a Nara.

Asuma let out a grunt of acknowledgement. The Hokage proceeded to run through the twelve remaining jonin and the status of their teams to be.

the meeting drew to an end Sarutobi called Kakashi over to him. "Join me in my office we have much to discuss about team seven."

* * *

"And then I went to Higurashi's Bladeworks to tell Tenten I passed. It turns out that my knife was finished early. And that's how my day went." Naruto said as he finished his story for his hopefully new teacher. Said teacher was blissfully splayed out on the tree stump in a deep sleep. A rather large tick mark grew on his head. "OI! Get up!"

Letting out a long yawn Anko the sleep from her eyes. "Oh minion when did you get here? There was this guy who was telling this really long winded story that had no impact on my life what so ever, it made me sleepy."

Naruto had at this point started calming exercises to try and prevent him from attacking the special jonin which would inevitably lead to him getting his ass kicked. "So are you going to train me in how to use this butter knife?" He pointed to the blade buried deep in the stump.

"Sure I'm free tomorrow around four. Now scram I have pain that I need to inflict on some people."

* * *

AN: I finished this stupid chapter, finally. I'll try to update faster.

Most if not all the names that were used in the meeting will most likely never be used again.


	13. Yay for D-Rank!

Chapter 13 Yay for D-rank

Havent updated in fo freakin ever!

Sorry about that, various things came up. Life, being lazy, my absolute hate for all the chapters pertaining to the war against madara(in the manga, I cant stomach the anime), being lazy, and let's not forget minor bouts of depression. Sorry for being whiny.

* * *

Naruto,

Let me first say that I'm sorry, before I left I said I would return before you graduated and yet I find myself still in the land of lightning. Unfortunately the answers I seek remain ever elusive. Therefore I must let you know that it will be a while before I return to Konoha.

I would like to congratulate you on your graduation from the ninja academy. My sources say that Mizuke almost got away with an important scroll but you stopped him. Please do not allow yourself to wallow in guilt over his death, you did the right thing. Hold your head high and look forward.

I'm happy to hear that the Uzumaki clan might make a reappearance.

Enclosed within the seal below is a graduation gift. A set of five ninjutsu, originally they were called the starting five but have disappeared from use over the years. They are nothing special by themselves but are a very useful starting place for any shinobi.

-Arius Noctis Miroku

Naruto sighed as he reread Arius' letter for the third time. While he was disappointed that Arius, the first person to look at him as something other than a mistake, wouldn't be coming it was understandable that he had his own life and it didn't revolve around Naruto. Still, missing a large part of what made you happy in the first place was uncomfortable.

But the jutsu would be helpful, that is if he could use all of them. He already had a small army of clones trying them out but having clones learn techniques had always given him mixed results. While making his clones use the techniques from the forbidden scroll there had always been a feeling of incompleteness whenever the memories would transfer over. And it wasn't like he could try them out himself seeing as how of the few Kinjutsu's the clones could even try all resulted in the death of the user.

It wasn't until later after he had tried to use the Arius's gifts that he realized what that incomplete feeling was. It seemed that the clones could learn any bit of information perfectly, but when that info had a physical component such as the shaping of chakra or the movement of muscles the memories couldn't quite convey the entirety of that physical use. Just like they can't transfer physical growth. The clones were after all just a pale imitation of the original. So while the clones couldn't really master jutsu for him they sure as hell gave him a huge lead.

Of the five elements that he received only two of them could be reliably used. Two of them had around a fifty fifty chance of just outright failing and the last one didn't work at all. But he figured that he would get them to work eventually, or not it didn't really matter. Kakashi was going to teach them something eventually, right?

* * *

"This is Raven, target has been spotted entering an alley. Ready to move in." A voice said over the radio.

"Confirmed sighting of target, alley is a dead end, Rose moving into position." Signaled another more feminine voice.

"This is team leader, you have the green light." Said a third deeper voice.

"This is Blonde Adonis you guys are idiots, I'm on my way back to the tower with the cat. We're doing more missions." Naruto's voice sounded through three sets of headphones.

"Damn it Naruto we're supposed to be working as a team!" Screamed Rose.

"Yes, but you were taking too long to get a freaking cat. And I couldn't risk you killing it if it scratched Sasuke again. Any ways I'm at the tower now, I'll get another mission then meet you in the market. Adonis out." He said before the connection went dead.

"AAAHH! That jerk!" Sakura yelled as she stomped off towards the market. She was soon joined by her raven haired teammate, a swath of angry red scratch marks marring his cheek. "Our first mission as a team and he ruins it."

"Hn." Was his response.

* * *

**A month or so later.**

"I say this again… I hate you." The grime encrusted Sasuke said as he and his team marched towards the Hokage tower to report on another successful mission.

"Why Sasuke how could you say that? Aren't we friends?" The blonde replied, while not a speck of dirt had so much as even touched his clothes.

"You made us clean the kennels at the Inuzuka's. Twice!"

"How was I to know that as soon as we finished cleaning out every single room of the kennel that Tora would miraculously appear riling up the hounds and the resulting chase throughout the compound would lead to us getting commissioned to clean the kennel again." This time when he talked there wasn't even a hint of faked innocence, all the while his eyes took on the shape of dollar signs.

"When Kakashi lets us spar again I will hurt you. It's not a threat not a promise it's an inevitability." Kakashi had temporarily canceled all spars for the immediate future. His precious little genin had become too 'energetic' while training, so much so that there were several incident reports filed by the ANBU. One more incident and each member of the group would be facing a fine and more than a few hours of community service.

"You need to chill out like Sakura and Kakashi back there." Naruto said directing his gaze to Kakashi who was blissfully ignoring reality via Icha-Icha, and Sakura who was covered from head to toe in angry red bites and scratch marks. All hope and will power had escaped her eyes leaving only an empty husk.

"How can such a small cat be so mean?" Sakura said in a hollow voice.

"Six or seven generations of genin trying to kill it." Was Kakashi's reply.

"And why do keep wearing that stupid Kakashi costume?" Sasuke growled. The blonde of the group was indeed still doing his best imitation of the one eyed jonin, complete with mask and small orange book.

"Hey it's not stupid!" Kakashi and Naruto said at the same time.

"I would never buy something wear it once then throw it away." He defended. "And the mask gives me an air of mystery." _More like it hides me from the glares of civilian population. _The mask did cover the lower half of his face including the three marks on each cheek. The only visible distinguishing features were his blue eyes and blonde hair which most people just attributed to a Yamanaka.

"There's no need to be all negative about everything you should be happy. With all the missions we've been doing you can just feel the size of your bank accounts growing, cant you?" Naruto said happily. "At this rate I'll be able to get that wall knocked down and increase the size of my kitchen in no time."

"Is money the only thing you think about?" Sakura asked quietly.

"More or less, it's not like I have the saving of an entire clan to fall back on, or even a family to support me. I've got me, myself, and I. And those guys eat a lot, gluttons the lot of them. Then there's the therapy that each one of them needs, those nut jobs can carry on whole conversations by themselves."

No one had a reply to that, either for being reminded that Naruto had no one or for the fact he had broken himself into three pieces and called them gluttons. So for the rest of the way back to the tower the group traveled in relative silence, only the sporadic giggling of their sensei disturbing the quiet.

* * *

"Saru my angel it has been so long!" Naruto said as he rushed towards the red headed receptionist.

"Naru my darling oh how I have counted the days." Saru said as her face lit up like a neon sign.

"You saw each other four hours ago." Kakashi reminder them.

That stopped Naruto and his mad dash to the front desk. "Oh yeah."

"Team seven returning from another completed assignment." Kakashi said as he handed over the mission scroll to the cheerful secretary.

The women glanced over the parameters of the job and the signature signifying completion at the bottom." Everything seems to be in order, I'll have the funds transferred to your accounts."

Each of the different mission ranks had its own system for operation. When a mission was brought to the Hokage tower a group of workers affectionately called the 'Minions' grouped the mission by danger, difficulty, and price. They also determined if it would be in Konoha's interest to undertake the missions, any that were of insufficient reward, outside of Konoha's jurisdiction or having negative political ramifications were discarded or returned to sender. Those that were approved were ranked from D to S.

Any mission that could be safely completed by a genin was transferred to the D-rank mission desk. The D-rank was generally jobs that were within the village or within ten miles of the wall. These consisted of mostly of chores deliveries or manual labor.

C-ranked missions were deemed too dangerous to a group of genin or outside the shadow of Konoha. The missions could range anywhere from escorts to surveillance to manual labor. Both D and C ranked missions were handed out on the bottom floor of the Hokage tower. When completed D-ranked missions were turned in to the receptionist, Saru. When C-ranked missions were completed they were returned to a separate location.

B-rank missions were those deemed too dangerous for anyone not a veteran Chunin or Jonin. They were the missions where battle was guaranteed. Consisting mostly of missions dedicated to remove bandits long range deliveries or border patrol. B-Ranked missions could only be selected and returned to a special section of the second floor of the Hokage tower.

A and S-ranked missions were those that only Jonin or Chunin with special skills could partake in. They were forwarded to the Hokage who would decide if the village would partake in the assignment and who would take the mission. When completed or failed they were to be returned to the Hokage along with a debriefing.

"So can we have another mission?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Im sorry but the Hokage has requested Team sevens presence before you were to given any more missions." She replied.

That got Kakashi to pay attention. "The Hokage asked for **us** specifically?" He could understand the Hokage asking for him, a former ANBU captain and one of the strongest Jonin in the village, but not the whole team. This let him to only one conclusion. "Naruto what did you do?"

"Recently? Or in general." It was a fair question while he hadn't done anything to bad recently there still might be some repercussions from his pranking days. A cat's wrath may last seven generations, but a shinobi can throw fireballs.

Letting out a sigh the masked man decided it didn't really matter. "Alright let him know we're on our way." He said to Saru. He proceeded in the direction of the stairs.

* * *

"Ah, team seven I'm glad you came." The old man said while leaning back in his plush chair looking over his visitors.

"Yo old man so ho" He was promptly silenced as Sakura nailed him in the back of his head with a solid punch.

"Have some respect Naruto." She said.

He was carefully inspecting the bump growing on his head. "If he didn't like it he would just tell me so." Naruto countered.

"Now now my cute little violent genin settle down I'm sure that the Hokage didn't send for us just to watch you two bicker." The leader of team seven said.

"Well actually that was the reason, today was boring and I needed a pick me up. I must say it worked very well." The old man said as the rest in the room face faulted. "Though I guess I could let you off probation and possibly resume sparring. And if you're really nice I could allow your jonin to request a low C-rank mission."

"NOOOO! No no no no no no no! They'll try and hurt me again." Naruto said while cowering in a corner as far away from his team as possible. "They want to take my soul!"

"We don't want your soul, we can't beat that up." Sakura said while cracking her knuckles ominously.

"No thank you, I think we'll wait another week or so before we resume spars. I have a whole new set of team building exercises I want to try." His ideas of team building exercises had so far consisted of locking them in a room and hope they didn't kill each other.

"If that's your decision." The Hokage said nonplussed. "You have a very good record with your D-Ranked missions. Among the new genin you have done the most by far." The leader of the leaf said while overlooking their team file.

"Can we please go on a C-ranked mission?" Sasuke asked his sensei and commanding officer.

"You have done an admirable job with your missions so far, so I'm giving your team the okay to start C-Ranked missions. Providing your sensei thinks you're ready of course." The old man said.

"Well I think getting away from Tora would-" He was interrupted by the cackling of one of his genin.

"Yes yes my pretties soon we shall leave the city and my plans will come to fruition." Naruto said dangerously as he leafed through a large stack of exploding notes.

"You can't hold us hostage forever." Kakashi said blandly overlooking his more than a little unbalanced student. Looks like more chores for team seven. "On second thought we'll just stick with D- Ranked missions for now."

"You do realize that hes only a genin you shouldn't let him push you around." The Hokage said just shaking his head in acceptance.

Both Sasuke and Sakura were giving him glares that could freeze glaciers.

* * *

A/N

I was just having soooo many problems with this chapter I decided to cut my losses and make it super short. Sorry for the less than sub-par work. The next one should be better.


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